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Dammit DX

Fri Jul 24, 2009, 10:02 PM

* Mood: Guilty
* Listening to: "Saint Jimmy"-Green Day

I just realized today I only have 8 pages left in my "drawing pad" =( There's lots of stuff in here I didn't scan in or upload, which means when I actually get a day where I scan in my previous sketchbook, I'll have to scan in this one too...well, not bad--this one only has 50 sheets. I'll have to figure out what to use for a sketchbook now, since my fairy got the one I'm currently using. Meanwhile, I'll erase some stupid things so I have more usable pages.

Filipino moms are so bipolar--Mo, this is why I couldn't go with you to see Grease today =(--It's amazing how I give my mom all the information beforehand and halfway there she starts complaining about what she calmly agreed to earlier (x_x). I'm not allowed to ask her to go anywhere for a while either, especially the Playhouse.

I wish I could go out with friends and boyfriends and not have my parents become overprotective and anal about every little detail, especially after they agree to the plan. Only 1.5 more years, and I don't have to worry anymore =3 Then two months in Mo's place while I find a permanent place to stay. Maybe with my fairy, who knows. I told my brother a while ago that I'm moving out when I turned 18/graduate high school and that my dad acknowledged it, but then he made me feel guilty about it. He said "So you're just gonna leave Mom and Dad by themselves?" I really wanted to say "Well, you could stay with them, you're always ending up back at the house anyway", but I couldn't; that's too mean--and he would be pissed. I hate it when Judd's pissed, especially when it's at me and/or it's about something stupid, like asking him to do something he was supposed to do anyway...Does that make me a bad sister? I always wondered that. I love him to death and I wish he could just live a carefree life, but sometimes he acts more like a selfish spoiled brat than I do...at least I help around the place I live at. I told him to help me wash the dishes and he snapped back saying "I don't need to be told what to do by my little sister!" and shut me out of the room...it's HIS chore DX

Whoops, I'm complaining. Shut up, Jenni.

-KF

Help Wanted!!

Mon Jul 20, 2009, 5:14 PM

* Mood: Embarrassed
* Listening to: "Australia"-The Shins

I want to start doing commissions, small ones like rough/clean sketches and the occasional line art, but I don't know how to go about it. Is there someone out there that's willing to help me and walk me through the steps on how to do a commission? I won't charge for it, and the person that helps me gets to keep whatever I worked on for the mock commission.

My reason for doing this? I'm not allowed to get a regular job, such as working at a store and such--and even if I could I wouldn't be able to make it to work since I've yet to get my permit(I'm actually supposed to have my license by now) and since my parents never really let me explore where I live, I don't know my way around my neighborhood. Ride a bike you say? Never learned =D Rollerblade? Sure, but the roads are too bumby for me to get around safely. Walk? Not allowed. I also feel bad when my parents give me money, and we're not exactly in the situation where I can get spare change around here. So, my best option was to do commissions since they don't interfere much with my schoolwork(dammit IB Programme).

If you know anyone that can help, or if you can help, please do =( But please note...I'd rather not do any nude scenes...DX

-KF

Someone Kidnap Me, Please...

Mon Jun 8, 2009, 4:27 PM

* Mood: Alienated
* Listening to: "Semi-Charmed Kind of Life"-Third Eye Bl

I have done nothing worthwhile since school let out on the 3rd =D *shot* My best friends are out doing things, but I'm staying home cuz, according to Minto, my parents are losers. I need more female friends-maybe I'd have more of a life if I did.

Yesterday and the day before my dad had us move old crap from this house to the other one(it's half storage half rented out to people) so we can organize the stuff we're selling at the flea market next weekend(we're kind of tight on the green stuff at the moment). My parents are saying it's to help out, but I think getting a job will be more steady with my share of the income...but I'm not allowed to get a job. I might end up just saying "hey, take my phone back" because I'm supposed to come up with the money for my part of the bill, but with no job how am I supposed to pay for it? He says to use the money we make from eBay and Craig's List will get us somewhere, but...really? It's not as easy as he thinks...STOP BEING OVERPROTECTIVE AND LET YOUR 16-YR-OLD GET A F***ING JOB!!! *dies*

Enough of the complaining-here's what I've done so far regarding things in my personal life:
-finished 3 of the 7 character designs(clothing) for the promo; Keitaro, Zak, and Monique. Today I'm going to finish the rest since I did those three last night. Calvin's is next =3
-watched a shitload of anime
-tortured the cat
-spent my time with the fairy that crawls through my window every night(it's a human-sized "fairy"). Next time we're playing Jenga =D
-cursed the fact that even though I live in Florida, we haven't gone to the beach in sooooo long

So, today I has to finish the rest of the character sketches and get my brother to scan them in for me so I can send them to Minto to look over. If I'm lucky, maybe I'll be able to finalize the school's design so I can start the comic tonight/tomorrow(past midnight).

Also, sorry for those people watching me and I haven't uploaded anything in so long-no scanner, and Judd(my older brother) is too busy to scan things in for me on a whim.

...Might as well get back to work.

-KF

I Gots Mah Hairz Did

Sun May 3, 2009, 9:45 PM

* Mood: Emotional
* Listening to: "Jumper"-Third Eye Blind
* Reading: AP US Government & Politics Exam Review Book
* Eating: Lumpia and Rice, but it's just sitting there...

Filled up my weekend so I wouldn't think about things I should forget about anyway. Yet, I found myself thinking about him anyway at times, then I shake my head and feel good that I decided to move on instead of linger.

Friday: got my hair cut and then bleached at V:'s house. Slept over, along with my brother and his gf
Saturday: had many yummy things; finished colouring my hair; my brother's gf got sick and left early; V and I made Japanese things for a picnic; threw ice into the pond; we all went out for ice cream; spent 2hrs watching a pointless Korean movie(at which point my "son" contacted me and said my ex called him-I told him I was having fun and hung up); V's bf dropped my brother, V, and I off at our house around midnight; V went home around 3ish
Sunday/Today: Mo came over to help me "study". She left about an hour ago.

AP exams tomorrow. A bunch of people's lives suck right now. There's a like/love triangle going on between my friends; my parents are complaining about money; my grades are dying; my brother's girlfriend is depressing him; misery and etc...

I'm gonne be emo s'more, so you can stop reading now...

I want to punch, kick, scream...break things. I broke my phone a bit-there's a rubber band holding it together(I'm ghetto, bitch!). Of course, I can't really do that. So I draw, but y'see-that doesn't really work either; I draw things I want to see, had seen, and will never see again. I asked Cal what I should do with them(rip them up, give them to the guy so he can do what he pleases with them since he's in them, or keep them and look at them later when I'm over it). He told me to keep them and look at them when I'm over it. I agree, it's the most mature thing, anyway.

I've lost my appetite, too. It's not that I can't eat-more like I don't want to eat. I'm still eating a bit though. And my natural energy(any other energy is from caffeine). I haven't been exercising recently either. I should do that again soon.

I know I'm just letting this stuff happen-letting things get me down. But everyone's weak at some point. I'm probably weaker now, even though I'm stronger-if that makes sense.

My dam broke, and water will weak havoc on the townspeaple below. Poor things...they saw leaks appear and didn't know what to do about it or how to patch it up. Where's the damn repair guy??

Someone tell me happy and exciting news, I need a break =3

-KF

Damn Pencil...DRAW SOMETHING ELSE

Mon Apr 27, 2009, 2:00 AM

* Mood: Yearning
* Listening to: "Everytime"-the Flames

Finished my bento, by the way-2 ube onigiri(?), cut up chicken, carrot sticks with vegetable sauce, and skewered cherries and green apple.

Ever pick up your pencil with no idea what you're gonna draw, and then thing you least want to draw comes up on your paper, even if you're not thinking about it? Like, by the time you're done with the thing you're thinking "Why the hell did I draw this? I didn't want to see this!!" At that point, you maybe be one of those people that rips it up...I'm not; probably cuz I want to see that picture in real life.

I draw best when one mood has just about completely taken over me, whether it be anger, happiness, love, depressed...the picture doesn't always portray how I feel, though-maybe because I just concentrate on making the doodle(almost everything I do is a doodle or started out as one) turn out okay.

All the pictures I've been drawing recently are nostalgic and are things I definitely want to happen...again. I never took a photo of us having such a grand time because we were having too much fun, absorbed into our own li'l world. I see the kids in these drawings now(they're on my drawing binder, which happens to be right next to me) and they just seem like 2 random characters that you may find in G33|<!! (well actually, my character and his WILL show up randomly as background characters for the fun of it all, even though we did end). They give off the same aura as the main characters-familiar, but you can't remember from where but they give off a friendly and welcoming aura.

I just kind of hope this phase ends soon-drawing romance isn't really my thing. When there's a scanner available, though, I'll scan them in. They turned out good enough and I'm proud of every doodle I do, no matter what memories/stories they hold...like looking at a photograph you forgot you took a long time ago.

...excuse the teenage-emo-ness, please; just venting(which I seem to be doing a lot, I'm sorry D=)

-KF