Howdy Howdy!
Oh boy do I have some stories to tell! A lot has happened in the last few weeks, hell even the last few days.
Booming business?
Of course I'll start with my angel readings. I've been getting a lot of good ideas for them which been working out quite well. It's kinda strange since I'm not use to something going this successful without a major hiccup in either the whole concept or just my emotions where I get discouraged. But alas! Things have been working out in my favor and I see myself being really successful in this! :D One of the major changes that I did yesterday was lowered the prices of most of readings. Then I went and opened up a free mini reading slam on the new agey forum that I use to frequent regularly. Oh boy, I was doing readings ALL AFTERNOON yesterday and best of all I got an order! :D So I was pretty busy yesterday, it felt really good.
Sitting here waiting for everything to happen when you want success so much is really tire some, but good things come to those who wait and I'm praying that this is MY TIME finally! And in better news I got my second repeat costumer today, I was so excited EEEEE! XD So yeah, things are really going well and SHAMELESS PROMOTION TIME if you're interested in a reading or at least want to try it out, I have the mini readings for $1.50! They are really fun, fast and insightful! :D
Facing my demons
Everything have been surprising emotional for me and one of the reasons is that I've challenged myself to face my most pressing issues! It's as crazy as it sounds but you know what, it's not that bad. I feel a lot more free being really really honest with myself about how bad I felt about myself and my life.
Even though I'm hellishly determined, I used that to cover up the constant pain and feeling like I'm not good enough in whatever I do. I can recover fast when I get hit hard by reality, but I never stop to think about what I'm really fighting for, and how it effects me. I just have a goal and I have to get to it, no matter what.
I want to be really successful and make a lot of money (and mostly move the fuck out), but I've been thinking about the destination way too much. To the point where I was just thinking about the "stuff" and all that I can do when I get there. But when I try too hard I burn out or have an emotional down turn, it trips me every time and I try again, then rinse and repeat.
When I decided to tackle this head on, I was just amazed of how complex of a system I was running off of. Where I made this "little world" in my mind that I had to overcome before I felt good enough to be successful, which was the reason of my "overly" determined nature. Even though my life has gotten "better" in some areas, I kept the "struggling" mentality with me and blew it up where "everything" was a challenge in a half. So yeah, nothing was working. At least not without busting my ass and/or running around in circles because I was making it that way subconsciously. And that was only the tip of the iceberg
I can honestly say that I NEVER came to such a realization before and it was probably a life changing one. Since that night I felt a peace of knowing that I didn't have to jump over the moon for success or climb over everyone else to get there. I can still be just as determined, but I know what I'm fighting for. Instead of wanting so much to cover up my deep feelings of lack, I just want to start doing what I love (card readings, art, crafts and etc) and get there when the time is right. I know what I want is mine already, I just have to get over myself to really get it. :)
I faced more demons as the days rolled by and I honestly feel a quality of self that I never quite felt before. It's like being totally sure of yourself but in a deeper way. This is just the beginning too, I'm not totally out the woods yet, but I can say that I probably faced my deepest issues.
WIP
Before I go, I wanted to show you all the sketch I just did! I didn't draw anything in a few weeks, but when I started drawing tonight I could see so much improvement. That and how easy it was to simply sit down, draw and have some fun. I started to get tense a few times, but I straighten myself out and let myself relax to have fun again. The drawing is so fun and fresh. I really want to see this picture though and finish it the way it's suppose to be!
Thank you all for reading and supporting me even though I've been busy with other things! Love you all, take care!
This is a pretty random world post but watching Dr.Phil really got me (even more) interested about this, especially in girls and artists.
Self esteem, feeling good about yourself, feeling secure, believing and knowing yourself. How much does it effect your life when you have it or lack in it? Do you think its a big factor on how good your life is? Do a good personality and traits gets thrown to the way side when you start picking apart other people bad traits that you may see in yourself? Or worst become a "bitch" because of it?
Haha, bear with me in this post and if you want, tell me your honest opinions!
Do you feel like you have good self esteem? Do you think you know yourself well? What do you see in the world and other people based on how secure you are about yourself?
How about your art? Do you think that self esteem in art effects how successful or how popular you are? Have you ever detested a follow artist only to find out that you where jealous or envious of him/her? Or envious of another person in-general because of something they have that you desire?
Most of all, why do you think other girls and artists give each other a hard time? Like get jealous, bullying, and trashing another? Instead of supporting one another and boosting each other up?
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For me I know myself pretty well. I would always pick up self help books to better myself. I would ponder how and why I think the way I do, read personality books, take the online quizzes, and just about everything that shows you your potential personality. I have a huge passion in it that I think helped me know more about myself and my flaws.
My self esteem tends to go up and down. It varies much more now then when I was back in school because I'm trying to make the life of my dreams now. I feel like I'm taking on the world in some way and sometimes I don't always feel fit for the job. Or that the universe is simply not on my side which means I'm going to be miserable forever haha! Some days I feel like I can take on the world, and other days I feel the exact opposite due to many reasons. But I never give up on myself and keep going no matter how I'm feeling.
My self esteem in art could be A LOT better haha, but I try to take it one step at a time. I get envious/jealous of others art and popularity as well. Especially when I think the artist's style and subject(s) is overrated. However, I got a lot better in that department! It showed me that you don't have to do a set number of things to be popular. Anyone can be popular but you have to follow your own heart and rules! (something I'm taking into consideration this year!)
I think having good self esteem in general makes your life better because you believe in yourself in all ways. You don't have to go out and prove it to yourself or others. You just know it and that is by far the best way to have it. You feel more secure about yourself when you make mistakes. Best of all when someone says something less then good about you, you won't let it ruin your life.
I don't know, I'm just pondering human nature as always and wanted other people to chime in. You don't have to tell me anything personal if you don't want too but I'm interesting in other's thoughts about themselves.
I should be posting art, or actually commenting and contacting people since I'm feeling very social for some reason haha! ( God, I need to a post about my holidays too!) It will all come soon enough!
Thanks for reading, take care!
