Name: Nikki
Age: 27
DOB: Nov. 24 1986
Height: 5ft roughly - What? I'm short
Believe in Love at First Sight: No.
Relationship Status: Single / Don't care
Here lately, I've come to discover, it doesn't matter whether I get married or not. It doesn't even matter if I stay single. Thing is, I may or may not be ready for it. What's important is being content with what you have.
I have a lot of favorite anime, but a few of them include: Code Geass, Trigun, Fullmetal Alchemist and Fairy Tail.
Favorite music: rock / hard rock / heavy metal, pop - I like things that people have said doesn't fit me.
My all time favorite band is the old Guns N' Roses. The new one sucked. End of story.

What's Holding Me Back?

I feel like there's something holding me back in life. I never seem to get anywhere. Anytime I get my hopes up, I shouldn't have. Everything just gets shot down. I keep getting rejection after rejection in jobs and no one feels for me beyond friendship. I should be beyond that, and yet, there's something that tells me I need someone, especially when I think about what's going to happen after my parents die. I need to get my life in order, but so far, I'm not having any luck. Decent jobs pass me by - not because I'm not trying to get a better job. I am. If I do find someone to love, I wonder if he wouldn't be scared away from a girl like me, a sheltered woman. I got to thinking last night in bed, and I wouldn't know half of the things I should know. *sigh*

What I Love Most About RP

I love when you're reading in an RP and you can clearly see what's going on, and when people use vivid descriptions, it's like you're there. That is RP at its best, and that was what I liked about the RPG I did. That's what I like about the mission I'm currently doing. My worst fear is that my RP will not measure up to everyone else's, lol. Anyways, that was a random thought I was having. Carry on.

Score! :D

Okay, so I've been lucky yesterday / today. I got called by a company to call them back on Monday to schedule an interview, I assume, and I was contacted via email about meeting the qualifications for the state secretarial position I applied for, and they might call me back on that! :D Woo! lol I can't remember what department with the state it was, but eh... it pays better than my current job, and it would be 40 hours a week, and they probably would have better benefits, so it makes no difference.

I Am Free!

Free at last, free at last! I can no longer be defeated by my emotion. I feel kind of liberated at the moment. I'm not worried about what if's and maybe's. I'm not worried about what is and what could've been. I am not constricted by my emotions. Even though my emotions do get the best of me sometimes, I've learned to let go of what will never be. I've finally learned to accept what I am to them, and that's all I need. I am a friend, and I will continue to be the best friend I can be. I have no need to "be in love". I can finally just be myself. I learned one of my friends was right about how you feel about someone. He said, it can take up to two or (maybe) three years lol or something like that. XD He'd have to explain it. I can't explain it. Anyways, I can be myself and I don't even have to worry. I will continue to work on my fear of death, but I think I have concluded that if I keep turning to God, it will be okay. The day I fail is the day I give up and lose my faith. Not going to happen. End of story. I think I am in control of my own fate, and I want to make sure I make it to Heaven.

Learning to Be Content

I decided against going back to school. I weighed the pros and cons of both, and I concluded I just need to be content with what I have. Besides, I would not be guaranteed to be in a better position than I'm in now. Even if life is boring, I will learn to appreciate what I have. There are no guarantees in an uncertain economy and whatever happens, happens. If I get a better job, great. If not, oh well. My mother was right. People have learned to live off of less, so why can't I?