Afraid of Happines...

Afraid to smile,
Afraid to be happy,
Because every time I am,
Everything falls apart.

I was happy before,
When I was with you,
But that happiness was too much,
It tore apart my heart.

Now happiness is no more,
Its only a shadow,
A lonely memory,
Never to depart...

Confused Heart and Mind....

When my body is saying one thing

But my mind and heart are confused

What does that mean?

.. ..

Am I hurt inside?

Am I broken apart?

Do I wish I can crawl into a corner and hide?

.. ..

Or is it the opposite?

Am I smiling a true smile?

Am I happy with it?

.. ..

And will I ever figure this out?

What is bothering me, what is on my mind?

Will I ever know what this is about?

.. ..

My mind and heart are a mess,

So much confusion and chaos,

I wish my pain can be less…

.. ..

A cure, I would like to find,

A remedy, sure would help

To help clear this heart and mind…

.. ..

Don't know if it's because of recent events,

If it's because of my inability to cry,

I don't know if I should pretend...

.. ..

Should I be sad?

Or should I be happy?

What should I do if no matter what, it's bad?

.. ..

What do I do if I can't see,

Can't read or hear

What my mind and heart want to be?

.. ..

Should I just allow it to continue?

To twist, turn, and spiral?

What should I do?

.. ..

This continues to revolve

Around inside my head...

Never known to be solved.....

End