Dreams...
Dreams is that wonderful feeling when you know you're doing something right.
It's when the harshness of reality begins to quiet and your heart sings.
It's that look when you see yourself in the mirror and smile, knowing who you really are.
Dreams is the one thing that drives me, soothes me and keeps me alive.
It's the world I live in, the world of dreams... This wonderful, wonderful world.
This fulfilling world...
This world that is in my heart and thankful soul.
I guess before I officially start, I finally uploaded some new art! It's called Bubble Gum Beauty, go and check it out!
Speaking of art, I think a lot of this post will include my honest thoughts about my relationship with my art and the rest of the world. ( NNOOPPPEEE sorry about that this post has NOTHING to do with that subject as it turns out lol)
Update on My Life Overhaul
But first a general update, since my last world post I've been keeping my word to changing my life. I've been doing my belly dancing exercise work out 5 days a week for a whole month. I feel the difference in my body and I love it, I think I see some changes too. Now I'm trying to learn the actual dance so I can well, belly dance haha! I fell in love with it years ago but was too shy and embarrassed to try to learn it (read dancing by myself) on my own. But I've gotten over that fear so I'm a lot more willing and determined to learn!
I've been eating a lot more healthier, my parents are buying more healthy things for me so that helps 10 fold. Besides the intense cravings I had once or twice I haven't been snaking on junk food, at least a lot less now, I'm a lot (even) more conscious about what I eat.
Your ideal boy/girlfriend? | How I feel about relationships
As far as my emotional health, I've been doing a lot to face all my fears and issues still and I see great improvement because of it. I'm a lot happier, more content and not so wrapped up in the small things in life, it's a great feeling! I went as far as getting a book on love and relationships that's really helping me get over my fears about love. Which goes into my question(s) to you all! Do you have an ideal boyfriend/girlfriend? Are you afraid of "falling" in love or being in a committed relationship? Do you shun love (relationship wise) but are a true romantic at heart? (like me XD)
I know, it's so embarrassing! I'll be honest (like I'm never honest on here really) I freaking LOVE romance. I mean the bubbly, fantasy, dream world and fairy tale kind of romance. Full of that being whisk away by some mysterious (and hot) stranger in some fairy tale dream land that doesn't exist on earth. Then to find out his a prince or some kind of magical (and hot) guardian thing *brain explodes* I just can't get enough of it, I really can't.
Speaking of just that, I recently watched spirited away after not seeing it in YEARS, and omg I love that movie so much. I've been dying to watch it again after I watched it for the second time but I haven't been in the right "mood" for it. Haku is so awesome, I love his voice and personality GAHHHH. He's hardcore without being a freaking douche bag and has this obvious sweet side to him. Not to mention he's a real cutie (pedobear much he looks like he's freaking 12).
Getting back to the original topic, yes, I LOVE love and romance but the idea of being in a relationship I was always "MEH" to me. Granted I only "really" wanted a boyfriend once in my life honestly, every other time was pretty much me fantasying (anime/video game/k/j-pop boyfriends anyone?) then an actually wanting one LOL. That and I'm fiercely independent with a tall order of the lone wolf syndrome, so yeah, relationships were never on my list of things to do. With that said, I love having friendships, I feel that friendships are more stable and reliable, they always seem to mean more to me then the having a idea of being with someone.
BUT I'm willing to let go of my preconceived ideas about how hopeless, flaky and hugely RETARDED relationships/people can be. To open my heart where maybe I can met someone even though I won't be actively looking for one or even sure I want one. Or... Let me rephrase that, open my heart where it's not as closed off to people. Not so I can find Mr.Right, he'll probably find me anyway, but so that I can be able to love and give more naturally to anyone. So when he does come along, I'll be able to accept him (or reject him lovingly LOL) and not want to hide under a rock because of my own fears and doubts.
Plus, knowing that us, ourselves, are solely responsible for ourselves and not give our power to anyone else to make us happy or sad takes the scary out of it. Yes, I'm sharing my heart with you, but you have no power to break it (or other wise) ultimately. So even though I'm " vulnerable" I never gave up my OWN power to another person. I'm still whole, sane and worthy for true and real love. And if it doesn't work out, guess what, it wasn't meant to be anyway and I'll probably spot the red flags and have enough guts to move on before the relationship takes a nasty turn.
But yeah... My LONG thoughts of relationships and where I stand about them lol.
K-POP FEVER!
Before I go, I've been watching more k-pop bands last night, mostly girl ones and OMG they have some of the cutest songs and videos. Even though I'm not a fan of more blaring hip hop/rap/too sexy songs/dance/videos, I love the ones that still has that "cuteness" or something that makes it k-pop and not "insert American singer/rapper in a different language" thing. I don't think the songs are bad or anything, just not my style... what so ever...
Okay last thing, again LOL! I freaking love U-Kiss! I've been watching their variety show "U-kiss Vampire and omg they are so freaking funny! I never been in love with a band as much as this one. Everyone is so sweet and/or silly I want to huggle them all! Seriously, if you need a laugh or just watch something different I highly recommend that! Just watching them outside of the music videos makes me love the music even more! :D
Okay that's it, this was a huge post! Maybe I'll post my thoughts about art on a later date (read in a month or two LOL)
Don't forget the question/thoughts about your ideal boy/girlfriend! :D
I guess before I officially start, I finally uploaded some new art! It's called Bubble Gum Beauty, go and check it out!
Speaking of art, I think a lot of this post will include my honest thoughts about my relationship with my art and the rest of the world. ( NNOOPPPEEE sorry about that this post has NOTHING to do with that subject as it turns out lol)
Update on My Life Overhaul
But first a general update, since my last world post I've been keeping my word to changing my life. I've been doing my belly dancing exercise work out 5 days a week for a whole month. I feel the difference in my body and I love it, I think I see some changes too. Now I'm trying to learn the actual dance so I can well, belly dance haha! I fell in love with it years ago but was too shy and embarrassed to try to learn it (read dancing by myself) on my own. But I've gotten over that fear so I'm a lot more willing and determined to learn!
I've been eating a lot more healthier, my parents are buying more healthy things for me so that helps 10 fold. Besides the intense cravings I had once or twice I haven't been snaking on junk food, at least a lot less now, I'm a lot (even) more conscious about what I eat.
Your ideal boy/girlfriend? | How I feel about relationships
As far as my emotional health, I've been doing a lot to face all my fears and issues still and I see great improvement because of it. I'm a lot happier, more content and not so wrapped up in the small things in life, it's a great feeling! I went as far as getting a book on love and relationships that's really helping me get over my fears about love. Which goes into my question(s) to you all! Do you have an ideal boyfriend/girlfriend? Are you afraid of "falling" in love or being in a committed relationship? Do you shun love (relationship wise) but are a true romantic at heart? (like me XD)
I know, it's so embarrassing! I'll be honest (like I'm never honest on here really) I freaking LOVE romance. I mean the bubbly, fantasy, dream world and fairy tale kind of romance. Full of that being whisk away by some mysterious (and hot) stranger in some fairy tale dream land that doesn't exist on earth. Then to find out his a prince or some kind of magical (and hot) guardian thing *brain explodes* I just can't get enough of it, I really can't.
Speaking of just that, I recently watched spirited away after not seeing it in YEARS, and omg I love that movie so much. I've been dying to watch it again after I watched it for the second time but I haven't been in the right "mood" for it. Haku is so awesome, I love his voice and personality GAHHHH. He's hardcore without being a freaking douche bag and has this obvious sweet side to him. Not to mention he's a real cutie (pedobear much he looks like he's freaking 12).
Getting back to the original topic, yes, I LOVE love and romance but the idea of being in a relationship I was always "MEH" to me. Granted I only "really" wanted a boyfriend once in my life honestly, every other time was pretty much me fantasying (anime/video game/k/j-pop boyfriends anyone?) then an actually wanting one LOL. That and I'm fiercely independent with a tall order of the lone wolf syndrome, so yeah, relationships were never on my list of things to do. With that said, I love having friendships, I feel that friendships are more stable and reliable, they always seem to mean more to me then the having a idea of being with someone.
BUT I'm willing to let go of my preconceived ideas about how hopeless, flaky and hugely RETARDED relationships/people can be. To open my heart where maybe I can met someone even though I won't be actively looking for one or even sure I want one. Or... Let me rephrase that, open my heart where it's not as closed off to people. Not so I can find Mr.Right, he'll probably find me anyway, but so that I can be able to love and give more naturally to anyone. So when he does come along, I'll be able to accept him (or reject him lovingly LOL) and not want to hide under a rock because of my own fears and doubts.
Plus, knowing that us, ourselves, are solely responsible for ourselves and not give our power to anyone else to make us happy or sad takes the scary out of it. Yes, I'm sharing my heart with you, but you have no power to break it (or other wise) ultimately. So even though I'm " vulnerable" I never gave up my OWN power to another person. I'm still whole, sane and worthy for true and real love. And if it doesn't work out, guess what, it wasn't meant to be anyway and I'll probably spot the red flags and have enough guts to move on before the relationship takes a nasty turn.
But yeah... My LONG thoughts of relationships and where I stand about them lol.
K-POP FEVER!
Before I go, I've been watching more k-pop bands last night, mostly girl ones and OMG they have some of the cutest songs and videos. Even though I'm not a fan of more blaring hip hop/rap/too sexy songs/dance/videos, I love the ones that still has that "cuteness" or something that makes it k-pop and not "insert American singer/rapper in a different language" thing. I don't think the songs are bad or anything, just not my style... what so ever...
Okay last thing, again LOL! I freaking love U-Kiss! I've been watching their variety show "U-kiss Vampire and omg they are so freaking funny! I never been in love with a band as much as this one. Everyone is so sweet and/or silly I want to huggle them all! Seriously, if you need a laugh or just watch something different I highly recommend that! Just watching them outside of the music videos makes me love the music even more! :D
Okay that's it, this was a huge post! Maybe I'll post my thoughts about art on a later date (read in a month or two LOL)
Don't forget the question/thoughts about your ideal boy/girlfriend! :D
Wow, it's been pretty much a month since my last encounter here, posting in my world that is.
New World order Design
Well, if you didn't notice, I completely changed this world design...TWICE. AHEM, I completely fallen in love with K-pop, a lot more than the first time I got into it. It's kind of crazy because... well, I don't know haha! When I first saw Shinee's newest video "Sherlock" I totally fallen in love with it (and Teamin OMGF that hair), then that love only grew when I started to watch all the k-pop clips on youtube. So now I can safely say that I'm a fan of K-pop.
I have a few favorites too, Teamin of course from Shinee, changshung from 2PM, and finally Heechul from Super Junior. UGGHHHNNN I can't really pick out my top favorite because they are all so freak'n cute and have awesome personalities *rolls around*. I love seeing the random youtube clips of all of them because I can see their personalities more. Changshung makes me laugh every time, such a clown. Teamin is so innocent but then he can look all sexy and that makes my head explode and Heechul has wit like crazy.... *ROLLS AROUND THE HOUSE*
So yeah, that's been my reality for the last few weeks, me watching something k-pop related everyday. I've become such a fan that I decided to change my world design twice which is saying a lot! But yeah, I love it and it really does make me happy and smile enormously! And I want to give a special shout out to Kelsey (Angel Zakuro) for making my last icon of Sailor Mini Moon. I loved it so I never did change it haha! If you ever want an icon or whatever don't hesitate to ask! :D
PMing Question
Speaking of friends, I have a question. Do you think its weird to PM a person/acquaintance/friend just to chat and catch up with the person? I know, I sound really weird since this should be a "normal" thing to do, but I always fear that the person I PM will think I'm a weirdo for just wanting to chat. I always wanted to just have a PM frenzy on here but that fear kept me from doing it LOL. Since a lot of my close friends are becoming more and more rare with posting and etc I want to know what they are up too, and have that common bond again... :P I'm sounding so sappy but I always enjoyed the community here and I don't want that to die out even if I'm not posing as much. *3*
Mew Mew Yours Truly Life Metamorphosis!
Okay, so I guess the last thing is that I'm totally revamping my life! I'm go get lean, eat healthy-er, buy new clothes, going back to my creative endeavors again, change around my room and pretty much start living the life I always wanted to live. It's weird because I tired to do it before but I never gave it enough effort or got lazy/depressed/etc and just stopped.
This time around since my life have been getting so intense lately I need to match my outside with the inside. All the old things and habits I use to do, I'm willing to let it go and move forward. I'm learning that it's human to screw up... a lot... a lot a lot. When I let go of being perfect and just "do it" whatever it is I want to do, things turn out fine even if I don't get my expected outcome. I normally just end up learning a lot from them if I don't get too caught up in my perceived failures.
So yeah, this year so far has been a true learning lesson time and time again. I'm learning a lot about myself and I see the difference it's been making in my life. One day, I want to condense this all down into a series of books so that other people can learn about what I went through! :)
Okay, I think that's enough from me! A lot has happened since I last posted but those things are the most important I guess. Don't forget about my question too lol. (it's such a silly question you don't have to answer if you don't want too!)
