Hi I'm Dranzerstorm
You may remember me as a regular contestant on the caption battle contest.
Welcome to Retro Retrospective, my world dedicated to the old guard of the Otaku world; expect some reviews of the old & obscure, and in-depth geeky knowledge with the occasional top ten and I now have a logo.
Little info about me
Well I'm British and I'm in to all things animated and nostalgia.
I've grown up with every cartoon going and have watched hundreds of anime.
Oh and to answer a question I was asked once, no I don't wear glasses in real life, I would wear Loke's sunglasses though.
Licensing anime in the west is difficult to digest, especially when dubs were expected of every property so some do become lost, especially when you get into the legal side of things. Here are ten dubs lost to time.
10. Futari wa Precure
Before Precure was a household name there was an attempt by 4kids to dub the series but unable to find a channel that would take it, the license ran out which was then picked up by Ocean dubs for Canadian and British release, it's unknown whether they got anywhere with it but there are rumours of a 4kids opening that was likely made as a promo.
9. Cyborg 009
The original dub for Toonami was lost after the broadcast when they re-recorded some episodes due to mild profanity, there's also episodes recorded of two different voice actors for the lead role and because Cartoon Network are dicks, they didn't release the final episodes despite already being dubbed.
8. Escaflowne
The Fox Kids alternative dub was butchered beyond belief to the point that it was barely recognisable, but it's been lost since it's cancellation with only the first dub in it's entirety on dvd being a clue of it's fox kids era.
7. Idaten Jump
A toy based anime expected to jump start another franchise ultimately failed leaving only a couple of dub episodes littered online with the bonus of the original Japanese also being notorious to find.
6. Gurren Lagann
ADV Film's last attempt at a dub was never finished as the company went under and the anime ultimately went to another company, this is also the reason why it started release as a subbed only until the rights were sorted.
5. Mermaid Melody Pichi Pichi Pitch
ADV Films again had this one but failed to find a broadcaster so the rights ended up expiring but TV Aichi who own the rights has the full completed dub in their possession with no plans to release it and still have it.
4. Keroro Gunso
Guess what? ADV Films again, they had three different versions of the dub with lots of switched around voices and even when it went to Funimation there were still unreleased dub episodes.
3. Yu-Gi-Oh Zexal
The death of 4kids animation came with it a lengthy bankruptcy period in which Yu-Gi-Oh was caught in the middle. This would need another post to explain but in short 4Kids dub still exists but another company made a dub which was never used and ultimately never will, Yu-Gi-Oh is dubbed by it's own company run by Konami with a few ex 4Kids employees who currently hold all the Yu-Gi-Oh dubs.
2. All Purpose Cultural Catgirl Nuku Nuku
A British dub was made but no evidence of it exists on home release with only occasional videos popping on Youtube. I have seen these dubs but sadly I can't give evidence.
1. Dream Dimension Hunter Fandora
But I can with this one.
Youtubber Kenny Lauderdale is an expert at finding long forgotten anime but as to where this dub was found is a mystery, as you can see it's god damn terrible. It's probably at this time the most lost dub in existence as at least with the others there was proof that it existed. This one has no leads other than that footage.
A little delayed but here is the 2nd part of the double list, the top 10 most lethal chefs. Not included on this list are those who cook for other species as it's clear that a human won't eat it anyway so Lum from Urusei Yatsura & Elsie from World God Only Knows are not on this list. Step away from the fish!
10. Akane Tendo from Ranma 1/2
In a world where everyone can cook in more ways than one it's baffling that the lead female that Ranma is supposed to marry is the only one who can't cook. Akane does improve but in a near 300 episode series the best she can manage is basic curry.
9. Nia from Gurren Lagann & Apis from One Piece
Nia's food can make the average person seriously ill but remarkably Simon & Boota actually enjoy it.
Same can be said about filler character Apis who makes everyone on the Going Merry ill except Luffy who actually likes it. In Luffy's case he's made of rubber and probably can't tell the difference, I guess with Simon being underground most of your life will have a negative effect on taste buds.
8. Miyabi from Ninja Nonsense
In her defense she's never cooked before but someone who is the other half of a ditzy, genius sister combo, you'd expect the genius to be the better cook, but here is Miyabi mistaking gunpowder for seasoning.
7. Tenma Tsukamoto from School Rumble
Her rice balls have done some horrifying things to people so Yakumo doesn't let her cook for that reason. Eri isn't any better but being a rich girl who never has to cook is helpful in more ways than one.
6. England from Hetalia
Truth be told our food isn't that bad, it's just boring and on the scale of other cuisines it's extremely low on the scale. Ironically this is the only male entry.
5. Moka from Rosario X Vampire
She can't use kitchen utensils without harming herself or others and anything she makes is alive and hostile and can take out a full blooded vampire in one bite (Kinda ironic as she is a vampire). Even when she has help and does produce something edible it's at the expense of the kitchen and all the other members of the harem being knocked out cold.
4. Bianchi from Hitman Reborn
Her cooking is so bad it always ends up as poison which as a professional assassin became her convenient weapon of choice; no one knows why this happens it just does.
3. Himeji Mizuki from Baka + Test
The smell can summon the reapers, actually eating it causes a horrible painful death that should never be wished on anyone. Oh sure it looks okay but that makes it more deadly.
2. Seraphim from Is This a Zombie?
Her cauldron contains a substance that looks like a witches potion which causes anything to melt when exposed to it. In fact it's so bad it melts through not only the cauldron but the table, the floor and possibly the Earth's crust.
1. C-Ko from Project A-Ko
I don't really have anything nice to say about this character. Her idea of a bento box has been known to contain random objects such as bottle caps and pebbles. At least the other people on this list use actual food. Why anyone would enjoy her cooking let alone enjoy her company is clearly on crystal meth!
I'm starting a new list type known as Tribute Lists. These lists are not numeric and can be any number of entries; there's also no rules and restrictions so anyone from cartoons, anime and games can enter as long as it matches the theme and today's theme are those individuals who didn't get the girl or guy. Because someone has to honor them for trying.
Anime
Brock from Pokemon
Undisputed king of this list, has failed to land any girl even from those who have liked him and even when it looked like he finally had someone in Prof Ivy, something happened to break his heart and throw him into depression.
*Space reserved for Serena from Pokemon*
Way it's going she will have her heart broken by the time she leaves the group.
Yoko from Gurren Lagann
The two guys that shared a kiss with her both end up dead.
Sanji from One Piece
Has not been with any women and had ended up in Okama land during the time skip which if you've read or watched the scenes then you know what that is.
Yamcha from Dragonballz
Lost Bulma to Vegeta and now forever has to spend his days with a cat on helium assuming he's not dead.
Hitomi from Escaflowne
Ended up with no one by choosing to go back home.
Tai from Digimon
Didn't end up with Sora and the fans were not happy.
Lelouch from Code Geass
Don't even get me started on his history, he was doomed from the start.
Jigen from Lupin III
Has a high body count of dead lovers.
Milly Thompson from Trigun
Loses Wolfwood 24 hours after finally getting together.
Cartoons
Batman from All Versions of Batman
Believes he'll get them killed and remains permanently single Despite Terry McGinnis being his son in Batman Beyond
Lion-O from Thundercats remake
Loses Cheetara to Tygra, this also creates a lot of drama between the group
Mordecai from Regular Show
After finally getting Margaret to notice him she leaves to go to her dream school.
Squirrel from Sword in the Stone
Cruel because the squirrel didn't take it very well when Wart turned back into a human. It's actually difficult to watch.
Woody from Toy Story
Loses Bo Peep between films and is clearly dejected by it.
Brian from Family Guy
Never really seen him succeed in love despite having a lengthy relationship once.
Bart Simpson from the Simpsons
This may be down to the show needing the Status Quo to stay the same around the main family but poor Bart has yet to succeed in love.
Wolverine from X-Men
It's far worst in the comics.
Video Games
Ike from Fire Emblem
It was implied that he would end up with Elincia but by the sequel she ends up with someone else.
Byuu from Bahamut Lagoon
Despite being the main character he never ends up with the Princess.
Mario from Mario Games
Don't expect Princess Peach to ever make any effort; this is even lamp-shaded by the one off anime OVA when Mario doesn't end up with Princess Peach at all.
Amy Rose from Sonic Games
Will forever chase Sonic until the games become redundant although considering how much Sonic Boom will mess with the formula and set pieces she may escape this list.
Terry Bogard from Fatal Fury
Not so much the games but in all Anime forms he's ended up with dead girlfriends.
And that's your lot, so while you enjoy Valentines Day today, spare a thought for those who are single.
It's the last day of this year so I will finish off with a list. This is the top 10 most surprising talents from popular characters. This list also has a bonus of five non anime entries at the end.
10. Miss Sakaki from Azumanga Daioh
The shy tall girl from the cast of Azumanga Daioh, celebrated for her athletic ability, her American measurements and her aloof personality. While it's not that surprising in her character design to like everything cute but what comes as a real surprise is how well she can sing when with the others at karaoke. This is played with in AMVs when she sings Colors of Wind from Pocahontas.
9. Yoko Littner from Gurren Lagann
While she can take down a Beastmen with just her large rifle, she retires from active duty to become a teacher, and an awesome teacher at that, she even hides guns in her Blackboard.
8. Sunako Nakahara from The Wallflower
An anti-social girl who can't stand bright shiny people is able to cook as well as a house wife, in fact it's her most defining talent as a character which ultimately wins the approval of her aunt.
7. Konata Izumi from Lucky Star
Unfit, over weight otaku are considered an out dated stereotype but Konata is so small in build that you wonder how on earth she could be so athletic.
6. Apachai from Kenichi Mightiest Disciple
Apachai is tough, he can talk to animals and he can somehow defeat everyone at Othello or Go if you want to stay Japanese. It's supposed to show how a non skilled person can learn anything with practice but Apachai gets so good he nearly beats resident genius Akisame.
5. Ami Mizuno from Sailor Moon
It was going to be Makoto Kino but her skills don't really surprise me. As for Ami, it comes as a big surprise that the resident genius who claims to have no interest whatsoever in romance can apparently dance like an elegant princess. She may give Belle a run for her money.
4. Keitaro Urashima from Love Hina
Keitaro is pretty useless at most things but seems to have the skills of a master patisserie chef during Valentines Day when he makes a cake so amazing it would fool anyone into thinking he had a girlfriend. Good thing he has those skills as you need something to fall back on if he failed University again.
3. Hinata Hyuuga from Naruto
The timid ninja who really doesn't belong in the anime up against all the male ninja in an eating contest where usually the defining trait of Shonen lead males is that they eat a lot. Hinata defeated all of them, no defeat is the wrong word, she thrashed them.
2. Lizzy from Black Butler
I started with Meyrin but it's not such a big shock for a Phantomhive servant to be a mercenary. Lizzy on the other hand is the shows only girly girl, and seems out of place throughout, until a defining point in the manga when Ciel ends up in danger, she picks up the nearest swords and slices the Zombie horde to ribbons. In fact just look at the picture, that's really Lizzy being a bad ass after spending so long being annoying.
1. Tenma Tsukamoto from School Rumble
But I don't think anyone can top Tenma, a hopeless romantic, scatterbrained idiot with no physical or academic skills with the attention spam of a Schizophrenic Goldfish. and yet she has deadly Archery skills, can Judo throw someone twice her size, has a deadly baseball throw, can cycle really fast and to top off just her physical strengths she can Ski so well she teaches everyone else. And depending on how you interpret the ending she becomes a Doctor Overseas in the States
Now for five Western Examples
Eric Cartman from South Park
Is very talented at Photography when you take into account all his schemes. He is Peter Parker good.
Doctor Robotnik from Sonic
While only brushed on briefly by the Doctor at the end of Generations, Robotnik apparently was at university studying to be a teacher, I would love to see that expanded on. Next project Sega "Sonic Origins"
Buford from Phineas & Ferb
The bully from Phineas & Ferb can speak fluent French and quotes Voltaire, proving to be more sophisticated than the rest of the cast.
Lisa Simpson from The Simpsons
While having extra skills is not really a surprise in a series this long it always comes as a surprise when it happens especially with Lisa who has no skills outside academics yet she has the hand-eye coordination to stop a Hockey Puck bare-handed fired by an adult. The same Lisa who earlier in the same episode burst a Volleyball with her hair.
Sabrina from the Pokemon Games
It comes as no surprise that Gym Leaders have hobbies & jobs outside Gym Leading but when Gen 5 came along, Sabrina came back as a Movie Star; okay playing a Movie villain is less surprising but in the games she's depicted as a psychic master over dedicated to her training which expands to the anime; I would never picture her as a Movie Star. This also backs up a theory that suggests that Sabrina doesn't come from Kanto.
Well that's everyone, I'll be in 2014 before the majority of you so Happy New Year to all my viewers and I'll see you in 2014.
Anime likes to make people feel good about themselves, even those who are handicapped, so here are the top ten Handicapped Anime Characters. Rules this time is that the person on the list needs to be capable of doing awesome things despite the handicap, I do not include illness seeing as most characters with this don't see it as a handicap so Whitebeard from One Piece is disqualified as is Nagato from Naruto seeing as his extra bodies did all the fighting and not him personally. So lets begin.
10. Date Masamune from Sengoku Basara
Missing an eye never seems much of a handicap but in Sengoku times it was enough to be dismissed from active duty, not for Masamune however. In Sengoku Basara he proves himself to be the strongest character in the series, even his real life counterpart survived the Sengoku period and gained much respect from other warlords.
9. Guts from Berserk
In such a brutal series it comes as no surprise that protagonist Guts would end up losing an arm and an eye, something which later proves to have been a better choice as he hides a cannon in his new arm & magnetic grip for holding the sword better.
8. Shanks from One Piece
He lost his arm right at the beginning of the series but still has the power to stop most people in their tracks, the worst damage he's had was the three scars to his face, what makes it better is that he lost his better arm being left handed and is still capable of so much.
7. Gildarts from Fairy Tail
I get the feeling that him and Shanks are long lost brothers, but Gildarts goes the extra mile having lost an arm & a leg and a few internal organs but is still rated the strongest in Fairy Tail. Small nod to Erza for an artificial eye.
6. Andrew Waldfeld from Gundam Seed
Andrew lost an arm, a leg and an eye but is still capable of defeating able bodied pilots and newtypes, I mean coordinators. Made even more impressive when you think that he's a minor character that survived a Gundam series.
5. Edward Elric from Full Metal Alchemist
One of the most famous but surprisingly not number one. Missing an arm & a leg and fitted with Automail to make up for it, Edward Elric remains one of the greatest anime characters in history. He's still short.
4. Shishio Makoto from Rurouni Kenshin
A failed assassination attempt left him without sweat glands meaning a prolonged fight would burn his body to cinders but he manages to defeat most of the strongest members of Kenshin's team before his time runs out.
3. Judau Ashta & ZZ Gundam from ZZ Gundam
This is something that needs to be seen to believed. Judau Ashta is 80 years old and still alive, making him the longest living Gundam pilot in history but even more impressive is that he's still piloting ZZ Gundam that has rusted outdated technology and a peg leg but can still take out Mobile Suits like a pro.
2. Sora Takeuchi from Air Gear
The former leader of Sleeping Forest ended up wheelchair bound after having his legs broken but is still a capable storm rider and looks even more impressive when he performs in his wheelchair.
1. Lord Genome from Gurren Lagann
All that's left of him after part one was his head and yet it was his spiral energy that kicked off the final battle against the anti-spirals, let that sink in a moment. Just his head!
