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- Created By KaidaFaye
I'm Typing with a Sock Puppet, Bitch!!
Thu Apr 9, 2009, 11:04 PM
* Mood: Lonely
* Listening to: "Kimagure Romantic"-Ikimono Gikari...rep
* Eating: I threw up half my lunch today =(
Yup, it's true. I'm typing with my sock puppet Yes-I dug him up, so now he's typing for me with twitching lips =D
ANYWAY, I still can't eat as much...and I realized how lonely I am now. I got so used to doing things every weekend cuz I had a boyfriend. Now that he's out, it's like..."what now?" No definite plans on weekends and no phone calls to be expected. Aileen and I were talking about this today after school; her boyfriend's in a different country and I don't have one, so we were talking about how weekends aren't as fun since we never really go out with friends, even though we'd love to.
Now it's emptier, quieter, and lonelier: to the point where I start talking to Yes again. But sock puppets, especially ones with mismatching(1 big green and 1 puny red) buttons, make everything funnier and better. But once you stop the conversation, you realize how pathetic you sounded =(
Do you get moments when you're overflowing with inspiration, but you're not able to write them down? That happened to me today several times-then when I could finally get them down, I couldn't bring myself to draw them out...I need a new sketchbook.
Ok, that's about it-my dad is yelling at me to get off the computer and Yes is prolly gonna be mad at him for making him type even this much. G'night, chaps
What does food really taste like?
Thu Apr 9, 2009, 12:05 AM
* Mood: Pain
* Listening to: "Kimagure Romantic"-Ikimono Gikari
* Eating: more like regurgitating =(
I haven't eaten a substantial meal for a while now. This started last weekish-I first lost my appetite. Then slowly I started to withdraw from food cuz it started to make me feel sick after I ate. Now, just the thought of food makes me want to throw up and almost anything I put in my mouth I end up spitting out because I can't swallow it-my gag reflex gets in the way. I've been eating mainly apples because they go down easier than anything else. I can't get a good night's sleep either-four hours tops. I stayed home from school yesterday because I had a painful headache and I felt like I was gonna throw up(I threw up a little after trying to eat cereal). So I went to sleep for a couple more hours, tried to eat again but it didn't happen, slept some more. The try-eating-then-sleep thing was repeated all of yesterday, with random emotional break downs in between. Am I transforming into an emo? Do butterflies go through this? Am I turning into a cutter-fly?? *shot* Nah, I'm not a cutter. I just hope none of this has anything to do with my now ex-boyfriend. That'd be pretty stupid if it were-he shouldn't affect my biological needs. The crying maybe, but that's gone(I think), but my food? I love my food. I miss my food. Can I have some food? Oh, wait, nevermind; don't wanna throw up on y'all. =/
So, have any of you gone through this before? D'you know how to fix it? I don't want to shrivel up and die yet. I'll do that when I'm, like, 100yrs old. =P
IEIGVJNSD;FJ AJGEAJRTQOIU 245 FGM
Thu Apr 2, 2009, 9:34 PM
* Mood: Nervous
* Listening to: "Driveway"-Making April
* Eating: I ate a slice of pizza...but that was it
It's in a language I just made up =D It means...
FUCK THIS SHIT!! DX
I hate being a teenager. I'd like to just skip to college right now. Or just move out...can't wait until I move into Minto's house. A while ago, I cooked up a plan while I was talking to my boyfriend(?) about how I could live at my school. I would snatch a spare master key from Frankie or Mike, get used to sleeping in the nurse's office(or I could set up a comfy tent on the roof), get some locks and separate my stuff in the lockers in the girls' locker room, and when summer comes I can stay a week or two at a friend's house, move on to the next friend, and if I can't sleep over somewhere I could live somewhere in the park. Of course, I would have to secure a job first =)
But who am I kidding? Nice plan, but it wouldn't last; and if I ever had to come back home I'd be in deep shit.
I envy my friends that can just wander around with their friends. They simply just let their parents know where they are and call them time to time that same day for an update of what's happening. I envy the people that can sleep over at a friend's house without expecting to know everything about the family their staying...it not like I'd be marrying the person-a female, might I add(I'm straight and plan to stay that way). I envy those stupid teens that can go on dates with a boyfriend or girlfriend without the parents wanting an adult with them or another friend(the 3rd wheel). I envy those that can go on a field trip and not have their family follow them to every place they went(my dad dragged my mom all the way down to Key West trying to keep up with my school's field trip; they followed me to Disney, too). I envy the girl that can ask her parents and not be afraid of a definite "no"...cuz that's what I always get.
I want a normal life without anyone expecting top marks and to just go out with my friends and have fun. I want a relationship that isn't hindered by house rules.
What would you choose? A normal life where you're free to be with your friends whenever you could, but less, perhaps significantly, less creative than you are now? Or the sheltered life of a person overflowing with artistic-loveliness but could only show the internet.
-KF
Fustration
Mon Mar 30, 2009, 6:28 PM
* Mood: Regretful
* Listening to: "I'll Find Mine"-Meg and Dia
* Eating: I'm pretty sure I ate something...
You know how when you turn on your computer, there's these automatic updates that are really annoying cuz they just keep popping up? Yeah, I miss those. I'm grateful for this laptop, cuz I hate sitting at a desk-but I wish this Mac was newer; it's so old, I can't even update. It was a high school graduation gift for my brother. He graduated at 19-he's 24 now. It kills me; I try to update things or get some nice applications(like the GIMP) for me to use, but the version they offer start at version 10.4-I'm 10.3.9. It's like when you're just so close from getting the next letter grade up and your teacher just decides to leave it as it is...pisses me off.
My technology is limited to a pencil, paper, magic rub erasers, and a light table. My mom's laptop is fried, so I can't use the scanner-and my brother is too lazy for favours, especially since I already filled up another sketchbook. Then there's the lack of motivation cuz of other complications going on in my life...I'm a skinny li'l kid, but I'm starting to feel fat because ever since break started the most exercise I've had is a 30minute session of DDR on heavy, and that was just to relieve some steam from said complications...I probably gained a pound or two...now I'm lacking the motivation to move...I haven't been eating as much as I used to, either(I usually never stop eating, now I can't remember what/if I ate today).
Anybody know how to fix this? forget my personal problems, but I don't wanna become a jell-o mold D= FIX ME!!! DX
-KF
Still Hiatus...
Well, I have regular internet access again, but now I lack a scanner-which sucks because my sketchbook is almost full of pics you won't be able to see for a looooong time X3
Minto and I worked out a new G33|<!! Promo plot to use for Chibi-Pa 2009, since we're getting a table this time. And I have more time to make this promo good-I finished the first page's rough draft about an hour ago, so I need to show it to her tomorrow to see if it's ok. The beginning's a bit different from what we changed it to, but I think it works better this way-more interesting(and better-drawn). While Calwoof was reading over the newer script for the thing, he kept going on about how horrible my grammar was/is =( I will make this known: MY GRAMMAR SUCKS AND I CAN'T SPELL FOR SHIT!! 8D
I'm thinking of making a tutorial of sorts...more of a "How to be a Mangaka with a Limited Budget" kinda thing(I'll work on the title, okay?) It'll be quite large, so I'll make it a downloadable PDF file =D It won't teach people how to draw-more like teach them how to get better on their own with coming up with ideas and bettering their talents with stuff you don't have to go to a super-dee-duper expensive art/specialty supply store for.
Anyway, I just had the urge to update since I haven't done anything for about a month and this page looked more neglected than usual...that's it for the professional stuff, so you can stop reading here, if you like =D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, about 2 days left and it'll be two months with my current boyfriend, and I must say-I quite like this one =D He'll be my 2nd longest relationship and counting. My brother and his girlfriend will be 6yrs on the 20th of this month-since they've been together since high school, they give me a sense of hope; I've never been one for long-term relationships for some reason-Minto and my friend Mikey said it was because of my fear of commitment, and I agree-but I think I'm over it now *thumbs up*.
Been trying to get healthier-exercise and such-but I've GOT to stop staying up so darn late...it's past 3am and I has school tomorrow...I don't think I'm sleeping tonight. I'm gonna take a shower 'round 5 I guess; don't wanna be tired AND filthy =(
...I'm hungry-time for some 3:10am dinner!
-KF
