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- Created By KaidaFaye
Just Another Slap in the Face
Sun Nov 1, 2009, 2:44 PM
* Mood: Vengeful
"Grow up." I hate that phrase. I find it ironic that when i finally get to make a decision that can really affect my life, I can't choose between limitless options. I just can't. It's like throwing a toddler that just learned how to walk into a marathon. It's pathetic--I'M pathetic. I lack motivation to do anything, and I know I can do it. I'm just too fucking lazy. I'm letting an inferiority complex get the best of me, I actually start expecting other people to help, when in the end it all comes down to what I think, and what I think alone, and what I do about it. And what I think just doesn't seem to click with what I know is the right thing to do. I'm a stupid little teenager that knows what to do and chooses not to do it. And why? Just because I'm lazy. It doesn't interest me at all. And I don't want to think that I'm one of those "regular" kids, when I might truly be one. A mediocre stereotypical 16 year old girl. Gross.
I don't go for education. I go for the experience. Probably the only motivation for even graduating and going to college is so that I can experience it all. Yeah, I appreciate what I learned along the way--but it doesn't interest me. Nothing interests me. My grades suffer because I'm a selfish brat and when I do try my best it doesn't even show. Probably the only way I can get better at something is to compete--but what good will it do if that person doesn't know that we're competing?
The only respect I receive is when I draw something, and even then it lasts a maximum of maybe 10 minutes. Drawing. That's all I can do. No matter how much I improve, it's not something my parents will be proud of. My friends would just look at it, have a few comments, then forget about it in the next 5 minutes. It's just something to amuse myself with.
I need to turn my life around. I'll show you. Being lazy may be something I can fix. Just watch. Fuck you, Calvin. Never compare me and that kid.
God, I'm Stupid
Sun Aug 9, 2009, 2:41 PM
* Mood: Moving on
* Listening to: Japanese Conversation
* Eating: Corned Beef and Rice
* Drinking: Tang and Water
I was watching anime(what else?) and I had my headphones on, but I never plugged the headphones in. So, halfway through the episode I realized why the sound was kind of muffled and I went to scratch my ear and the headphones were in the way (x_x). I think the lack of physical contact is getting to me.
Doing a quick job today in about 2.5hours--moving furniture again for my divorced cousin for $20--it's not much, but it's something.
Fought with my parents a li'l while ago about moving. My mom went on about how my neighbour/friend moved in with her boyfriend after she graduated. I told her I didn't see the problem with it and started accusing me of moving in with a boyfriend after I graduate. I told her if I have one and it's convenient for school or work, then I would and she started going off on me and saying how I shouldn't expect any money from them for school or rent if I do that--for cripes sake, I haven't done anything yet and i'm getting in trouble. Blew off some steam at Josh's, will blow off more moving furniture 2-3x my size.
-KF
Comic Full Speed Ahead!!
Thu Jul 30, 2009, 2:42 PM
* Mood: Not Impressed
* Listening to: "LIFE"-Kimaguren
* Eating: Celery with peanut butter and raisins
* Drinking: Orange Juice
Full speed ahead, since I only have about two weeks left to finish the line art for the pages. Started working on the new cover last night, but Minto and I still think it could be better...I don't have any other good ideas =< I'm aiming for finishing three pages today, to bring me up to page 13; then another 3 pages tomorrow.
When I'm done with the line art for the new cover and a line art of an alternative cover, I'll upload both and will beg you guys to say which you would be more likely to pick up. Please cooperate =D Because, I have a feeling Minto wants to get this done more than I do <3 Good thing she's my editor, or else I would've done absolutely nothing regarding this promo. Thanks, Mo!
-KF
Gah...Stupid KF, Stupid...
Mon May 25, 2009, 12:56 PM
* Mood: Shame
* Listening to: "Sara's Song"-the ESP's
* Drinking: Orange Juice
I regret so much right now; I just keep leading this kid on cuz I'm selfish and don't know what I want. I feel like I'm reverting back to my middle school self, or I'm evolving into some sort of...thing-yeah, some sort of thing I don't like. I can't really look at the mirror the right way; I look different. Maybe I'm just growing up? That's depressing, I'm 16-I'm supposed to be living a carefree life with stereotypical teenager problems like getting a date, parents, and friends-so why is that these are all magnified by at least 5x? It might seem like I'm just exaggerating this, like every other teenager out there, but I know the difference...
For those of you that wish for a manga life on a shooting star or something, be specific and be careful-you might get exactly what you wished for, cuz I did...
On a lighter note, my parents' 25th anniversary was yesterday-I dunno how my mom could stand my dad for that long, cuz I can barely stand him for 5 minutes, but they're happy and disgustingly lovey-dovey so it's fine.
We're going to the beach later today cuz it's Labour Day-I'm gonna have a permanent tan because of all these trips to the beach(we live 5minutes away from there). I hope we can stop by the Ice Cream Club afterwards-today looks like an ice cream day. For the past couple of days it's been icky and humid and very rainstorm-y-I'm looking outside now and Mr. Blue Sky is out so it's all good =3
For those of you who actually read all this, I'm sorry-I rant.
<3 KF
Why is it that...
Why is it that when there's a really long weekend(Labor Day weekend) you still end up procrastinating on homework? I've been trying to get my history done, but I just can't get myself to do so. I've finished my Psychology homework and studied for Spanish a bit(quiz on Monday). Maybe it's cuz I don't have history class 'til Wednesday? Ah well.
But it's not just schoolwork, it's also the comic-I've REALLY gotta get these pages done...but I just keep getting distracted!! DX *sigh* Ah well, enough complaining-I'm gonna [try] to do work...b'bye, wish me luck (x_x)
-KF
