killmepleasealready
Hi, I'm Caitlin.
I'm seventeen and I live in New Hampshire, USA.
I pretty much hate majority of my life, but whatever.
I don't give a shit if you think how I am is bullshit, what you think doesn't matter.
I'm so fucking sick of fake ass people.
But whatever, life is life, I can deal.
Have a nice day everyone.
Anyone have myspace and/or AIM that'd like to get to know me or add me go ahead just tell me where you're from please.
MySpace - http://myspace.com/xxocaitlinx
AIM - xxoCaitlinXx

Just because I smile, doesn't mean I'm happy

pleasedon'thurtmeiwasonlytellingyouthetruthisn'tthatwhatyouwanted?

Quotes I liked and mainly wrote down while I wasn't paying attention in Psychology

Our destiny is not written for us, but by us.
-Barack Obama

With malice towards none, and charity to all
-Abraham Lincoln

Why should I live? Why should I do anything? Is there life in any purpose which the inevitable death that awaits me does not do and destroy?

It is easy to be brave from a distance.

Pretense may become reality.
-Chinese Proverb

Through this be madness, yet there is method in 't.
-Shakespeare

I have learned to accept my mistakes by referring them to a personal history which was not of my making.
-B. F. Skinner

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be grater and lesser persons than yourself.
-Max Ehrmann

To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.
-Oscar Wilde

the enthusiastic claims of the self-esteem movement mostly range from fantasy to hogwash. the effects of self-esteem are small, limited, and not all good.
-Roy Baumeister

The [self-]portraits that we actually believe, when we are given freedom to voice them, are dramatically more positive than reality can sustain.
-Shelley Taylor

The first step to better times is to imagine them.
-Chinese Fortune Cookie

There's a lot of talk about self-esteem these days. It seems pretty basic to me. If you want to feel proud of yourself, you've got to do things you can be proud of.
-Oseola McCarty

Ignorance more freely begets confidence than knowledge does.
-Charles Darwin

There is as much difference between us and ourselves, as between us and others.
-Michel de Montainge

We do pretty well when you stop to think that people are basically good.

We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are.
-The Talmuel

Sickness is the manifestation of evil in the body
-Andrew Weil

I get by with a little help from my friends.
-John Lennon and Paul McCartney

Woe to one who is alone and falls and does not have another to help.
-Ecclesiates

A cheerful heart is good medicince, but a downcast spirit dries up the bones.
-Proverbs

When the heart is at easse the body is healthy.
Chinese Proverbs

No happiness lasts for long.
-Seneca

Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.
-Pslams

Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind.
-The Buddha

For news of the heart ask the face.
-Guinean Proverb

Harmona

Harmona

All alone
she hides away in her room
locked away
from everyone who told her not to

Everyone
who caused her to do this
unable to express
all the emotions she truly feels

Out in the open
she's all smiles and laughs
A solved puzzle
to anyone who passes by

But locked away
is where her inner self gts
set free, it's
where she pours her heart out.

Taking the
silver, dragging it across
appears the
red, twinkling down her skin

Pouring out
as do all her feelings, the emotions
every person
she ever knew told her not to.

Not to
cry, be mad, to show herself for who she really is.
Told her to
suck it up and hide it.

This
is why she's become a
pro
at hiding herself.

Not trusting
anyone she's ever encountered.
Releasing
all her stresses in the privacy of her room.

Away,
from all the fake, user friends.
Away,
from the family that doesn't want her.

Til one day
she goes too far.
And that day,
was her last day.

All her
emotions, fears, her heart
Shown to a world
who she truly was and how they held her back.

Why my night last night sucked.

My mom got all pised at me when I called her to ask for a ride after Driver's Ed. about 6:30 and starting bitching me out and I flipped out. I'd been in such a good and happy mood but she ruined it. Now the guy that was doing driving with my friend and I thinks I'm psychotic moreso I bet and yea. Then I tried calling my mom again cause I hung up on her when she was yelling and she didn't answer. Pissed me off more, and my friend's dad offered to give me a ride but it's too out of their way and I stormed off took out my iPod and blared my music. they drove toward me and she was yelling at me to get in the car and I wouldn't, then stopped at every other corner and she got out at the first one and I pushed her away and the nest her dad tried stopping infront of me when I was crossing and tried to get me to take the ride and I said no thanks and then offered her phone since mine was almost dead so iI had it off.and I kept walking. Ending up stopping and just sitting at a bus stop cause my throat burned since it was so cold. My brother eded up coming like, en minutes later and didn't say a word. He was pissed too, he hates my guts. Now my friend and her dad are probably sooo pissed.

And I accidentall told her how my mom always say she wishes I were never born and it made her feel bad it seemed and that made it worse. I dont want peoples pity damnit.

I just wish things weren't so damn awful.

Now she won't wanna be my friend cause what i did. And it'll be a whole other charade like with the old friend..
And Things this year keep coming back to that whole deal and passing the house today, ugh. Sorry but. I miss my old friend even if that friendship was so damn corrupted. Twas nice while it lasted for the most part but being myself was just so damned horrid.

I hate how no one can accept the way I am, they think its not like me when it really is. Ugh.
Whatever...

Dudeeeeeeee

I fucking love Guitar Hero III............

Once I got the hang of it i was goldennn.
WOO HOO!
But it is only on easy... soo uh yea. Hehh, for me it's amazing let's leave it at that. i almost as good as my brother. And my brothers are good at video games..

My face is so freaking hotttttttttttttttt
It's been like that lately.
Fuckin blistering hot and my fingers and nose ice cold.
Oh well...
i'm bored.
It's Sunday night, and I'm not tired an ounce.But i have a stomach ache all the sudden >_<

I gotta pee, then i'll go play more Guitar hero I think.

Uhm, dunno what to title this.

Okay, I know this probably sucks and is really boring. But, I've just felt like writing a story. I'm never too sure what to write of when I go to write though, so.. Please, could if you read this tell me honestly what you think and such. It would be much appreciated. Even if you totally hate it..

Thank you,
Caitlin..

Chapter I

The doctors said there was things wrong with her even before she had been born.. worried she'd turn out wrong. But nope, she was perfect as the bright, sunny day she was born. She was their first daughter of the three kids now, and what a precious angel they thought she was.

Grew up daddy's little girl, his pumpkin head. Her mom despised the nickname but he insisted. Sometimes he'd take her out for late night rides when she couldn't sleep, watched her all day long and worked third shift while she slept the night away. Took her to McDonald's where they'd share a large fry. She loved Beauty and the Beast, it was her favorite movie. Took naps together in the afternoon. So tiny and sweet, and her daddy loved her so much.

Of course, he had to spend time with her older brother's as well. They were only just a year apart, and everyone treated them as if to have been twins. They were four and five years older than her, Brendan the oldest was more quiet and reserved like his mother, and Justin more like his father; wilder and more adventurous. Each got along with their similar parent better, but loved them both dearly.

As the baby girl got older, she and her brothers were babysat in the summer. Now looking back she remembered how the babysitter was mean to them. She'd yell and boss them around. Get mad for the little one spitting her gum out in the sidewalk infront of their condo. They had just gotten back from the park a few blocks away between the elementary and middle schools. They all had rather disliked her.

And then came her preschool years, school for 3-5 year olds in a church across the city.. She had a best friend, Rejean. He was tiny too, especially since they were only about 3. Him and her would sit under the desk and suck their thumbs together. He'd help her when her earrings got stuck in the carpet. Played with the numerous toys, walked to the park across the street as partners together with the rest of the class. Almost as if they were unseperable.

All she remembers about her next year as a four year old was having and accident during class. She was so embarrassed and upset over that. But her teacher was so sweet and nice, she had left the next year and she found out she had worked at a Payless shoe store and would visit her from time to time when she and her mother took her great-grandmother grocery shopping.

Maybe she doesn't remember things all to well from then because of something that had happened that year to her as well. It was the year when she tried getting Sam, the family cat out from under a side table and had a somewhat deep cut on the side of her wrist from glass under the table. Her daddy got to clean it by convincing her he had made the banaids into butterflies so she'd let him put them on. Today, she still has the scar but it's not nearly as significant.

In February her family moved, this is right before Justin had turned 9. They moved from the city to the town right next to it. Brendan had been having a rough time in school so that year her mom started him right off in the town and eventually they found a house. But her father and brothers took a karate class at the YMCA, the instructors daughter watched her during the classes for her father. She was about Justin's age, and he name was Madison. See, her grandmother wouldn't watch her when her mother had asked during the classes, and she believes that was the start of why her mother started to dislike, then hate, now loathe the girl's grandmother..