• frowbling's Avatar

    frowbling

    Senior Otaku+ | Posted 02/19/11 | Reply

    @luffysister:

    looking forward to it.

  • luffysister's Avatar

    luffysister

    Grand Otaku | Posted 02/18/11 | Reply

    @frowbling:

    I don't really get into their reasons why until later chapters. Hopefully they'll sound different then.

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    frowbling

    Senior Otaku+ | Posted 02/18/11 | Reply

    @luffysister:

    Sorry. Never give up! Its just that I don't really get a chance to get to know the characters that well and I've already forgotten a lot of the profile descriptions from the earlier chapters. Do you have a chapter listing their different reasons for trying to meet the dragon dancer? Maybe it would help to distinguish their voices by going further on into their detail about how they react to certain situations or their reasoning behind their actions. Oh and another thing you don't have to be so straight forward with the story the reader can understand what your saying without the round about explanation.

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    luffysister

    Grand Otaku | Posted 02/18/11 | Reply

    @frowbling:

    Ouch, the truth stings. Yes it's terrible in the grammar department and making the voices different but I'm trying to get it written down before I seriously rip it to shreds.

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    frowbling

    Senior Otaku+ | Posted 02/18/11 | Reply

    This is pretty good there are bits of repetition, word over usage, and grammar errors but still good. I also think you need to reassess how each character talks because they're voices sound a bit childish and similar.