Name: Nikki
Age: 27
DOB: Nov. 24 1986
Height: 5ft roughly - What? I'm short
Believe in Love at First Sight: No.
Relationship Status: Single / Don't care
Here lately, I've come to discover, it doesn't matter whether I get married or not. It doesn't even matter if I stay single. Thing is, I may or may not be ready for it. What's important is being content with what you have.
I have a lot of favorite anime, but a few of them include: Code Geass, Trigun, Fullmetal Alchemist and Fairy Tail.
Favorite music: rock / hard rock / heavy metal, pop - I like things that people have said doesn't fit me.
My all time favorite band is the old Guns N' Roses. The new one sucked. End of story.
- Created By shortcrazygirl
Worth a Try
I remember something that was said to Gaara in Naruto in the flashback of his past. The guy Gaara had trusted told him a wound to the heart was different than a flesh wound. He told him it was the hardest to heal and stuff. Well, I can definitely say that is true. My problem is, I wind up hurting myself, and it's hard to heal that as well as the other damage that's been done.
I came up with what seems like a good idea to me to make me forget the feelings I had. The problem is, I don't really know if such a plan would work.
There is something else, but I'm not sure that will work or not because of the limited contact that's already there. But see, if I do this, I'm going to have to tell a friend of mine this is what I'm doing.
Both of these would be worth a try, but I'm certain only one will work.
This is kind of when you meet a fork in the road, and there are only two ways to turn. The problem is knowing which way to take.
A Break Before I Break
So, I've decided I'm going to take a break for a while before I break. I am going to disappear from the online world for a good while. Lately I've been doing nothing but being depressed and questioning why it is I'd still have feelings I do. I think it would be best to come back when I've got my head straight. Like a friend told me, I should be stronger and wiser since I'm an adult. I don't know why but I'm not. I hope this will help.
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Sometimes I just have to laugh at myself. I posted that last post, and I thought I had said something wrong. No, I didn't. If I wasn't so fragile, maybe I wouldn't be so paranoid. Anyways, I laugh at my own mistake. That was funny.
Insane I am! Bwahahaha!
Love, It's a Funny Thing Indeed
I think this song pretty much says it. So far, I get nothing but emptiness from guys. Of course, here, he's saying that he really does love her. So far, love to me is nothing but a lot of emptiness. Guys promise a lot of things, but do they mean them? Hmm... sometimes I have to wonder.
I'm sorry, I realized something just now after I started writing about it that I'm trying to make up for my own patheticness.
I just said something, and I may have hurt someone.
I didn't pay attention to what I'm actually doing, but it's true, I am making up for my own patheticness.
I Punish Myself
I hate what I do to my friends. I really do. However, I feel I have to punish myself for my sins. It's why I post all this crap. I'm sorry though you guys have to read it. I apologize a lot, I write depressing stuff a lot, but it's me pouring out my heart. I don't have a whole lot of places I can do that without catching flack for it. I fight depression, and you couple that with self loathing, and this is what you wind up with. Sometimes, it's annoying and not fun to look at, but this is what I do. Please don't hate me for it. I have to apologize though because it's not what my friends want. Reading complaints and depressing posts is not what people want. I am paranoid because I don't ever want to lose a friend. I have before, and believe me, it hurts more than anything. I just ask for forgiveness.
