I hate what I do to my friends. I really do. However, I feel I have to punish myself for my sins. It's why I post all this crap. I'm sorry though you guys have to read it. I apologize a lot, I write depressing stuff a lot, but it's me pouring out my heart. I don't have a whole lot of places I can do that without catching flack for it. I fight depression, and you couple that with self loathing, and this is what you wind up with. Sometimes, it's annoying and not fun to look at, but this is what I do. Please don't hate me for it. I have to apologize though because it's not what my friends want. Reading complaints and depressing posts is not what people want. I am paranoid because I don't ever want to lose a friend. I have before, and believe me, it hurts more than anything. I just ask for forgiveness.