There are a few shows that I want to get out of my system particularly from the Cartoon Network stable. So expect the second review to follow immediately after this one as we start with Uncle Grandpa.
Uncle Grandpa began as a spin off show to the forgettable Secret Mountain Fort Awesome about a magical old man who is everyone's uncle and grandpa, how that works is baffling but not the weirdest thing the show offers.
A typical episode would have someone having problems and Uncle Grandpa solving it in his own eccentric way, he does this with a magical belly bag, a disgruntled Green Dinosaur named Mr Gus, a sentient Pizza named Pizza Steve and a Giant Realistic Flying Tiger who is propelled by rainbow farts.
Yeah the weirdness in this show is unbelievable at times especially when they perform an Animaniacs style sketch in between commercial breaks and episodes, the recipe for this show sounds like the worst possible cartoon, yet I don't actually hate it.
I've been fortunate enough to have seen a large enough library of cartoons that whenever a modern show goes back to the basics of slapstick and weirdness that early Disney, Tex Avery and Looney Tunes gave us, it actually makes me smile more than it makes me groan.
Yes, Uncle Grandpa isn't perfect and it's nowhere near the standard of Cartoon Network's current big three but at the very least it isn't terrible, and still gives us hope that cartoons haven't completely lost the plot, no pun intended.
Apparently today is officially Goku Day in Japan, just for the celebration of anime's finest hero Son Goku from Dragonballz so I figured I review his introduction in the original Dragonball anime.
Do I really need to tell you the story?.........
Okay fine, Goku is a boy with a monkey tail who grows up alone having lost his grandfather, this doesn't seem to affect the kid as he functions quite well on his own. Bulma is a teenage girl in search of the mystical Dragonballs, large shiny stones that when seven are combined can summon a dragon and grant wishes, upon meeting Goku, Bulma explains what Dragonballs are as Goku has one and the two decide to search for the other Dragonballs, this starts a series of fantastic adventures fighting weird beasts, martial arts masters and plenty of juvenile jokes to go around.
And that last part is my biggest problem with this series, it's the juvenile jokes, they haven't aged well in an era that doesn't welcome them anymore. For example an early running joke is Goku trying to identify women by tapping them in a forbidden area. I'll let you work that one out.
Some other jokes are Bulma being a tsundere (you wouldn't think she invented it but she did) Oolong being a coward and a pervert and the first enemy boiling down to an imp dressed as a clown.
The story all round is terrible, but, and this a big but, it improves dramatically as the series goes on as stakes are raised and enemies get better and then you start looking at Dragonball as a fighting shonen anime rather than a mystical adventure one which foreshadows Dragonballz's premier towards the end.
Toriyama is a good artist and can choreograph an excellent fight scene but can't write a story without featuring horribly written jokes and pointless fanservice in an era that didn't feature it mainstream. The Overall experience knowing that this show is roughly the same age as me is slight disbelief that the most significant fighting anime of all time evolved from such a train wreck packed with really difficult to swallow 80s cliches, while it's a long series that does grow up over time, you still have to put up with the really bad parts to get to the good parts.
Final Verdict: This is why Dragonballz was licensed before Dragonball, the jokes really fall flat for a modern day audience and shows it's age badly as a result, while it does improve it takes time to improve and if you haven't already switched off by then, then you will be well rewarded for your patience.
This week has been stressful so lets take it out on a Fighting Game Anime as we look at all three Fatal Fury feature films.
Fatal Fury
In a world where corruption is easy to do, a big martial arts/business man seeks to gain power by making all the Martial Arts schools in the world redundant, Geese Howard does this through any means necessary including killing the father of Terry and Andy Bogard. Ten years later Terry and Andy compete to see who can learn their late father's secret technique from his mentor and use it to enter the King of Fighters tournament to defeat Geese.
First off I'm not a big fan of calling the main villain Geese, reminds me of an episode of Regular Show.
What stops this first film from being a complete bore is the introduction of anime only character Lily. At the start as a child she was instrumental in the death of Terry and Andy's father but as an adult she later falls for Terry Bogard which sadly costs her, her life which gives a bit more dimension to the usual fighting game story but it sadly slips on it's ass when you consider that Geese is frequently resorting to coward tactics such as shooting and poisoning when Geese himself could easily take down the protagonists which leads to a bit of an anti climax in the end when he's taken down a little too easily. Kind of a waste when it looked like it was doing so well.
Final Verdict: It's trying to accomplish something different that other fighting game anime can't seem to do but misses the point and resorts to lazy story telling to make ends meet.
Fatal Fury 2
A new villain enters the fray with Wolfgang Krauser, an intimidating yet wonderfully camp villain who can really back up his style, more so than other villains of the same type. Meanwhile Terry Bogard finds honest work in a Dockyard but quickly gets stuck babysitting a tag-a-long kid and fighting quick matches against other combatants from the King of Fighters, it doesn't last long when Krauser beats him down so badly that it turns Terry into an alcoholic. Meanwhile Andy and Joe hearing of Terry's defeat, makes a decision to help Terry out, so Joe tries to snap some sense into his friend while Andy along with his Girlfriend Mai Shiranui travel to Germany to confront Krauser. Mai doesn't really do much but watching her interact with Andy shows an honest chemistry between the two. Back with Joe who has a decent go at Krauser but is taken down easily, meanwhile Terry after snapping out of it watching the tag-a-long kid being beat up proves to his brother Andy that he's back to normal and takes on Krauser in the highlight battle of the franchise.
They made a real effort in this one, better animation, better side characters, much better villain and some pretty good fights. The polish was definitely used in the right places and the film does it very well, the tag-a-long kid is a little forced into the film but it's pretty easy to ignore.
Final Verdict: Much better in quality all round and one of the few to do the fighting game anime right.
Fatal Fury the Motion Picture
In our biggest feature the villains are looking for the Armour of Mars, but Laocorn's sister Sulia decides that he's wrong and goes after Terry Bogard for help. Meanwhile the others watch Joe fight a major Thai Boxing match followed closely by a quick fight from Kim Kaphwan. Our heroes Terry, Andy, Joe and Mai travel to many parts of the world trying to obtain pieces of the Armour of Mars before Laocorn's group, stopping at a number of locations including a nightclub if only to watch Mai Shiranui do the sexiest dance in anime history. (Trust me, Ten years ago her dance was a meme) There are throwbacks to the two films including cameos from Laurence Blood and Geese Howard as well, in fact the Motion Picture has the tendency to throw cameos in for no reason.
Sadly our heroes face defeat a number of times as Terry, Mai and Andy all get defeated by Laocorn's associates, Joe just seems to do nothing. Luckily they all take revenge in a number of awesome ways and confront Laocorn for the final battle in what is the stupidest looking battle costume of all time. (I sense a list coming) Sulia takes her own life to stop the Armour from taking control of Laocorn but said Armour takes a mind of it's own and fights Terry in the final battle with many of Terry's power coming out of rage obviously winning, it's kind of a rule in this genre. The movie ends on the cheesiest ending theme of all time.
This kind of falls in between the other films in terms of quality, it maintains the art style of the second film but paces itself poorly and has this expectation that the viewers have played the SNK games to know all the pointless cameos, while I welcome Mai doing more than just swoon over Andy, I kind of wish Joe Higashi did more himself.
Final Verdict: It's okay, it at least tries but like the first film it succumbs to lazy writing and probably should've been a quick ova series to help it pace better.
Franchise Final Verdict: It's clear that the creators tried hard to not make these anime films like it's contemporaries by giving an added dimension to each one but only the second film had the decency not to resort to lazy writing once they added the dimension in. But a quick look at other Fighting Game Anime, Fatal Fury is the best you're ever going to get.
Now lets bring this list season to a close with the Top Ten Best Types of Females in a Harem.
Honorable Mentions
The Tomboy with a Girly Streak Type
Miss Sakaki from Azumanga Daioh
The Mama Bear Action Girl Type
Yoko Littner from Gurren Lagann
The Out of Luck Hard Worker who Deserves Better Type
Kiyone Makibi from Tenchi Muyo
10. The Genki Girl Who Thinks the Best of Everyone Type
Kaolla Su from Love Hina
These are the girls in a harem you don't want to underestimate as they are usually the first to like the male lead and are usually the ones that give enough confidence to said male lead to keep going. While their enthusiasm can go overboard it's usually that boundless optimism that makes the challenge worth it.
9. The Bifauxnen Girl who can do Both Genders Easily Type
Ukyo from Ranma 1/2
Charlotte Dunois from Infinite Stratos
Bifauxnen is a term used to describe someone of ambiguous gender and both these characters personify this term perfectly, while there is similarities linked to the Tomboy with Girly Streak type at the top of the page what makes this such a good type is that they get on best with the male lead and it's that kind of friendship usually from childhood in Ukyo's case with Ranma that makes the characters stand out.
8. The All Your Fantasies in One Type
The Entire Female Cast of Happy Lesson
This is cheating a bit because you can argue this with any harem but this one stands out for many reasons. Happy Lesson is unique that you have a choice of five different teachers who play mother to the lead character who by the ending become your wife and add to that, a tsundere, a little sister, an older sister and a stalker. Your very much spoiled for choice. There are no other harems like this one.
7. The Perfect Girl who Actually has a Backbone Type
Lacus Clyne from Gundam Seed
Surprised it's not Belldandy? Well for all the perfection this girl gives in her looks, boundless optimism and sickening kindness, Lacus Clyne is not afraid to command a Battle Ship and will call you out for being a dick, which is how Athrun Zala ended up being dumped by her.
6. The One Who Supports you when the Rest of the World Rejects you Type
Hinata Hyuuga from Naruto
It's surprising how often Naruto has managed to appear on these lists, well certain characters do really well to match the subject matter, and some of Naruto's best moments is watching Hinata take on impossible odds to defend Naruto's honor, it paid off after 700 Chapters as they are married with two children.
5. The Dependable Little Sister with Strong Domestic Skills who will make the Best Wife and will Likely win in a Realistic Harem Scenario Type
Sasami Jurai from Tenchi Muyo
Another character not to underestimate is the youngest one, sure you may think she's not a threat being too young to do the things the main females do but she can also get away with a lot more things like spending quality time, winning praise and generally being kind and benevolent; compare that to the other girls which include a Mad Scientist, a stuck up Princess, a clueless Police Officer and a Rambunctious Space Pirate, bonus points that you already know what this girl is going to look like when she grows up, who are you going to choose? It's obvious isn't it.
4. The Extremely Sexy One who will fall in Love with you for Real Type
Rias Gremory from High School DxD
Harem shows get alot of stick for featuring match ups that depict really unrealistic relationships, then you meet Rias Gremory. It's easy to make assumptions considering that the target audience have probably seen this so many times before, really sexy girl and a hapless loser? Actually Rias subverts this by genuinely caring about Issei Hyodo, not only does she encourage him to be a better person but does so the normal way by actually giving useful advice and training and not over reacting when she has to scold him and it pays off when she develops feelings for him for real which saves her from an unwanted marriage.
3. The Thrill Seeker who's Idea of Fun is Building a Fast Car and Testing it out Type
Charlotte Yeager from Strike Witches
A relationship needs to be fun and creating thrills to enjoy makes for some of the happiest of memories, there are plenty of times where you can relax and lay back and forget the world but enjoying activities that both can do creates the kind of memories you tell your kids about. As for Charlotte Yeager? Out of all the characters who love adventure, Charlotte is my personal favorite.
2. The Perfect Gamer Girl Type
Ayame Shaga from Ben-To
As a Geek, the best relationships come when the person who plays games with you is the perfect partner to go into battle with, whether it's pulling an all nighter in Co-op, a team battle in a shooter, an intense racing session or a quick one on one fight, you know full well you'll enjoy the experience much more than playing against a stranger who swears alot. Gamer Girls get alot of unfair criticisms and should be made to feel more welcome into the world of gaming because you don't realize what you're missing. Bonus points for Ayame Shaga being a Sega Fangirl.
1. The Adorable Girl who wants to Shower you with Love Type
Juvia Locksar from Fairy Tail
But the most important girl in the world is always the one who wants to shower you with love, because it's that kind of dedication that becomes an important part of any close relationship and the support beam of the Harem Anime. This may feel like a kop out and it's true that Juvia borders some unhealthy Types such as the Stalker and the Clingy Jealous Girl but Juvia also has streaks of the "Girl who wants to be Accepted". Love is a free emotion and it's a beautiful thing to see when that one girl wants to show it to the Guy she loves the most and while Juvia has her faults so does every other girl and looking past that makes a relationship last a lifetime.
Just to give you a heads up that I'm not entirely bitter about this subject, here are some types perfect for a harem of Males.
Honorable Mentions
The One Hell of a Butler Type
Sebastian Michealis from Black Butler
The Mysterious Thief who will Steal your Heart Type
Jing from King of Bandits Jing
The Soft Centered Tough Guy Type
Kanji Tatsumi from Persona 4
10. The Sharp Dressed Casanova who Treats you like Royalty Type
Sanji from One Piece
Leo from Fairy Tail
They are the lovestruck suit wearing chivalrous knights of the modern age. You'll definitely feel like a pampered princess from one of these two lovely men.
9. The Casanova who has the Domestic Skills to back Everything up Type
Brock from Pokemon
Say what you like about Brock and his constant attempts to attract women, you actually look at all the life skills he possesses it'll be stupid to say no. He actively enjoys household chores, breeding animals, can cook really well and is a qualified vet by Pokemon standards, to top it off he'll happily shower you with love. You may want to take this guy seriously next time you see him flirt.
8. The Nice Guy who Can't Catch a Break Type
Mousse and Ryoga from Ranma 1/2
Ranma 1/2 is very cruel to side characters, particularly when it comes to male characters, both Ryoga and Mousse are strong in their own right and are genuinely more caring about their target love interests than lead character Ranma who I already discussed last time as a little bit too good at being a woman. So I say give these guys a chance.
7. The Perfect Partner in Crime Type
Isaac Dian from Baccano
When pursuing a lifestyle of crime, particularly as an eccentric thief, it's important that your partner shares that personality and Isaac and Miria go hand in hand, but what really makes Isaac such a good partner is protecting his lady from being arrested, because that way you'll know they'll be waiting for you when you come out.
6. The Ill at Ease Fighter who's Confession Turns him into a Real Knight in Shining Armour Type
Domon Kasshu from G Gundam
The title sums it up perfectly, throughout a shows run the male lead character spends all his time fighting with the lead female watching but in the climax when the gloves are off, the male lead confesses his love and although it's very cheesy to do so it's also the most romantic thing you can ever do. It does lead nicely into the next one.
5. The One who will Smash your Face in for Making his Friends Cry Type
Natsu Dragneel from Fairy Tail
Although this is common for all members of Fairy Tail what makes me choose Natsu is when he did it for Erza. Remember that Erza is hands down the strongest female in the entire series so it's actually very touching when Natsu smacks Jellal so hard that he didn't even see it coming for making Erza cry and you'll know he'll do it again for every other member of Fairy Tail.
4. The One who Reforms because of Love Type
Harima Kenji from School Rumble
The story of delinquent Harima Kenji go from street fighter to Manga artist for the sake of love is special, it proves that you can change from the self destructive path to an honest one and even when he fails constantly he's still left with a better life and better outlook of the world than the one he started with.
3. The One Who Stays with you Despite the Constant Dangers Type
Gourry Gabriev from Slayers
There are plenty of candidates for this one but Gourry takes it because of the fact that compared to Lina Inverse who can survive deadly encounters with the most powerful demons in the world, Gourry is just a normal swordsman, yes his sword is special but still a swordsman none the less and his dedication in staying with Lina through thick and thin and going as far as to chase down the Golden Lord of Nightmares just to get Lina back is something no normal companion would do.
2. The One who Makes you Feel Loved when no one else does Type
Minato Namikaze from Naruto
Naruto as a show has a lot of shortcomings but they created someone special when Minato's backstory with Kushina was shown. Kushina by anime standards was not a stand out child, slightly chubby, hated her red hair and had a tendency for occasional violence, so when she got kidnapped, the only person who came was Minato, because he noticed Kushina's beautiful red hair; the one thing Kushina hated and it saved her life because Minato noticed her. Doesn't that make you smile?
1. The Genius who can make this Crapsack World Bearable Type
Shiroe from Log Horizon
This is number one because this is the person I want to be. Life is hard and there are a lot of people who make it harder but occasionally you get the one person who can make it right again, and while he won't be popular with everyone for it, you trust him because you know he helped you in the past and you know that the changes he makes will lead to something better and you're willing to stick by his side to make sure that happens.
