Oh thank you very much for reviewing!
I will try to be more.. i don't know what's the word, but I'll try to keep that in mind
I googled the meaning of 'drabble' and I guess you're right. I think I will re-make it in another time
Tips: I think you could do better with the title. It doesn't really sound fluid as is.
Also, you switch the tense up a lot. You need to stick to one tense when you're talking about the present. Maybe try steering clear of passive verbs.
I think you could be a little more fluid and a lot more descriptive. This isn't a story nor a one shot as it is. It's more of a drabble.
DemonsandAngels
Beautiful Disaster (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 06/12/14 | Reply
@mynekoheart:
No problem! :)
mynekoheart
Otakuite | Posted 06/12/14 | Reply
@DemonsandAngels:
Oh thank you very much for reviewing!
I will try to be more.. i don't know what's the word, but I'll try to keep that in mind
I googled the meaning of 'drabble' and I guess you're right. I think I will re-make it in another time
DemonsandAngels
Beautiful Disaster (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 05/31/14 | Reply
Tips: I think you could do better with the title. It doesn't really sound fluid as is.
Also, you switch the tense up a lot. You need to stick to one tense when you're talking about the present. Maybe try steering clear of passive verbs.
I think you could be a little more fluid and a lot more descriptive. This isn't a story nor a one shot as it is. It's more of a drabble.