Random world for my boring life that no one cares about. Also, I'll be posting artings here too.




time capsule

Kinda crazy how this was my life at one point.. even though it doesnt seem like it I used to browse this site and come online every day. or at least,, many days. Its kinda sad that I and other artists i followed closely moved on from here but I guess this post is for my even future future self to read (hopefully this site is still around or archived by the time i come back a few more years later lol). Anyway.

To whomever may read this be it myself or any random person lol,

whats up i go by saku now, when before i would claim the nickname pickle (i still miss it...). I'm grown up by now and at the time of writing this ive learned a lot of things about myself personally and as an artist. It was very hard, from before when I had no goals or inspirations to draw and actually stopped drawing altogether for a couple of years. I doodled here and there of course, but I stopped caring and really only focused on school and music. I dont even remember my hiatus or when it started/ended... just that one day, I picked up my stylus and continued on. I adopted the username apacifish after a nice funny joke i had thought up. (what do you call a non-violent fish?)

I love it. It suits me, I think. Maybe one day I'll grow to hate it but I hope not!! Right now, I feel more confident as an artist that I did during my last few months here. I was experimenting wildly as you can see my style change around (mostly in the eyes and stuff). I appreciate my younger-younger self for being bold and trying new things and unfortunately you can see me going back into my shell. I'm still there, but as I try new techniques and gain more patience with myself and art, I'm slowly trying to do more things I wouldn't have felt comfortable (or too lazy) to do. It's a very very slow process for me, but a little at a time I feel like I can really grow and do things in my art.

I'm still a kawaii anime desu artist and for some reason, vent art or drawing outside of that genre are some of my biggest biggest weak points. I know I'd probably never make it in art school because no matter how much I like to draw, the pressures and the insecurities will probably kill me lol. Anatomy is another weak spot of mine, but tbh it's gotten so much better, and now if i need to I'll use references if I just can't do it.

Anywayysss, I say all this to say to my future self looking back:

if you're feeling down about your art or if youv'e decided to give up drawing or go on a huge hiatus, please don't stop. Come back to drawing. Look where you were in 2009, 2015, 2019 and where you are now, when or if you read this. You've come such a long way, and you have very supportive friends who love your artwork. Have more confidence in yourself! And if you're still drawing anime: theres always gonna be someone looking for cute anime art so keep building your own little community and audience!!! please dont be discouraged. If you really hate it, try new things. and if you don't succeed, its okay. Some things aren't meant to be, but never take that as a slight on yourself. You can definitely get better and you will!! Look back at your old art and think: wow , i was really good! I should incorporate those techniques or figure out how i did that look. Do not think: wow i wish i could draw like that again im so bad right now. IT's not ok! Because I'm sure you're much better than you were in 2015, 2018, 2019... so encourage yourself. and never let anyone else tear you or your art down. take constructive critique well, and even if its just a hate comment, see what theyre talking about and then brush it off.

I love you and your art. You're amazing at what you do and you should feel proud of all the artwork you've produced over the years, no matter how infrequent they are.

~ Love,

Your past self

oh and p.s: dont be afraid to post things online!!! D:<


i am trying to continue drawing and working on my music. i have an art blog p3ep.tumblr.com if you woul dlike it. its not really that fantastic but it;s all i have going on now.

paint stuff


love live addiction

no offense to all you OG fans of love live or anything... but I found out about this game a few months ago and have been hooked ever since. Granted I kind of wasnt this obsessed with this game and some days I'm just "ugh dont feel like listening to Kotori's voice 2day" but dude. This game is great! I'm just sad I didnt find out about it sooner!!!!!

I'm pretty happy bout the fact that I can now pass expert songs without having to use a gem!! Though there are still some songs where I just barely make it xD. I remember the first time I tried to play anone ganbare on expert. I had the game for about a month, give or take a week. I had passed 2 other exs by this point... so I was like "LOL thisll be so fkin easy"


I got rekt so hard... I sat there in my room playing this song for an hour and a half.. I used up SO MANY GEMS for this stupid song. Every day for 7 days I came back and played it as much as my lp allowed me... on the last day with only hours left I went hard... and I NEVER got through it.

Looking back, I can say thats so funny. Now, I play anone and cutie panther like theyre nothing. I think , "damn were they always this easy?"

Of course I have a long way to go! But so far I've cleared 27 exs without the use of gems... I'm proud.

I've been wracking up the gems tho. They come in handy during medleys!! Which are super cool btw!!!!!!!

anyways... if you dont have llsif... GET IT!


in all of my years on this website ive only submitted 54 comments?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????? WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!