So, it was still a Mary Sue, huh?
Maybe I better give you an example so that you can better alter the Sue:
Okuri was definitely a Sue. That’s why I had change him up a bit.
His great physical attributes are because he worked out like crazy in his mid teens (although, I’ll admit his lack of ability to loose muscle mass is still a bit Sueish) plus he’s naturally got a great body anyways. He is not ‘a genius’, but he is a very cunning fighter. This is because his natural cunning was magnified when he spent his childhood playing games such as go and shogi on rainy days. As he grew older, he read publications among the lines of The Art of War and The 5 Rings. This, combined with ninja and samurai training, has made him the master of every known form of warfare, both as a soldier and as a commander.
He spent several years in the wilderness, teaching him how to live off the harsh land. He was trained from the time he could walk in hand to hand combat, and while he had a fair amount of training with swords as a ninja, most of his swordsmanship can be attributed to time spent with the greatest sword masters of the north. Tracking by scent comes naturally to him, and required little training. The real source of his power, though, is the 7 tails-by means of a half demon transformation, it took all his natural abilities to a whole new level…for a price. His face is permanently distorted, and he will revert to a human form should he ever leave the land of snow (this is because the 7 tails receives an immeasurable amount of chakra from being north of the main continent) Also, he will be killed if he tries to use the power of the 7 tails during the day, even with the half demon form.
Due to incidents caused by the half demon form, he is unable to feel true love (no kisses for Okuri). As a child, he was loved by his family, but as he grew older and the 7 tails began to show, only Kiba and Akamaru would associate with him. Eventually, the 7 tails is unleashed and Okuri’s family attacks him. They (along with the Hyuuga clan) suffered heavy casualties, including his father. Okuri leaves for the land of snow (but not before saying goodbye to his little brothers), leading to the half demon transformation.
