Queen of theO � (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 11/16/13 | Reply
O: hi!
Look, it took me ages to realize what real friends are. And, buying people things isn't going to help you get closer to them. I realized this and noticed this. So, don't do it anymore and then once they notice this, they will see that you have become indifferent to them and they will maybe start to ACTUALLY appreciate what you've done for them.
Also, friends are not really friends when you're always doing things for them and they don't do anything back for you. Relationships are give and take! Don't worry if you think "but I think a real friend is someone who always just gives himself/herself selflessly" ~ is a relationship really going to work if you're only doing half of the work? It's not a relationship if you are the only one doing something in the relationship. They may be using you. Importantly as well, you are getting hurt-- you will only become sick if things keep going on this way. I know I have when I felt the same way and I was very sick for a very long because of depression and because of not getting kindness and appreciation back in return-- and especially always doing things for people but we must learn how to say "NO" and focus on replenishing ourselves too.
Look :) real friends won't need much at all. If they need you when they are in trouble, then they will ask for you. The free things that we really need are emotional stability and sometimes when crazy things happen, like what if a friend gets injured or something or something bad happens to them-- you need to be there for them emotionally and prepared to help them or support them. ~ sometimes the hardest things for people to do for others is to be there emotionally for them. Also, to support and actually REALLY help them emotionally (like let's say they are super damn insecure and they need a REALLY big boost for a LONG time) . . . then you need to stand by. Also, you need to know how to communicate.
As for you, you need to take care of yourself too. Sometimes you need to step away from the situation completely and just take a break. But, you also need to realize that sometimes people just take advantage of you. If they do, then walk away and realize that those people are not your friends. If they have helped you with emotional problems or with anything of that sort, instead of buying you things, then that's good. If they are always there for you when you need to talk or want to talk, then that's good! Also, express your feelings to them. Express how you feel, you HAVE to tell them your feelings and if there is any sign of remorse or guilt, then that means that they may have been taking advantage of you-- OR that they were just not aware of the situation occurring. If they care enough about you, they'll start to see what happened and start really taking care of you again and your own needs.
Right now, I don't really have many friends. I have acquaintances. I thought I had a lot of good friends but we don't talk, we don't see each other, etc. I feel very awkward with people and I like for them to talk to me first. There are some people I have tried creating some nice relationships with but they end up superficial. It's also on my part too :p I think I have bipolarity with friendships sometimes because sometimes I feel like not talking to them (starting conversations). When I have tried, sometimes it just did not work out for me (people could not talk about different things with me LOL >>;) however, I still try to help them whenever they need me at times. So, I have a few real friends to talk to and depend on. I'm still looking for more friends who I can feel comfy with, open up to, have fun with, be there for them, etc :) It's just who I am.
So, who are you? I have been focusing on my own needs for a few years now, because I really need it. Before, I was very insecure and was very emotionally unstable. That was also because of the lack of friends and I felt like I couldn't depend on myself. Now I am starting to get better and even though I have been distancing myself away from people more, I feel happier. I can finally say that.
So, please take your time to find new friends. If you have one good friend in a group of 10-15 friends, be happy and do not let them go. They are good to you and you should be good to them too. ^^
Last edited by Michiyo Shimizu at 2:06:08 PM EST on November 16, 2013.
I am not a follower, I am a friend. I do not ask for subscribers, only friends.
Michiyo Shimizu
Queen of theO � (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 11/16/13 | Reply
O: hi!
Look, it took me ages to realize what real friends are. And, buying people things isn't going to help you get closer to them. I realized this and noticed this. So, don't do it anymore and then once they notice this, they will see that you have become indifferent to them and they will maybe start to ACTUALLY appreciate what you've done for them.
Also, friends are not really friends when you're always doing things for them and they don't do anything back for you. Relationships are give and take! Don't worry if you think "but I think a real friend is someone who always just gives himself/herself selflessly" ~ is a relationship really going to work if you're only doing half of the work? It's not a relationship if you are the only one doing something in the relationship. They may be using you. Importantly as well, you are getting hurt-- you will only become sick if things keep going on this way. I know I have when I felt the same way and I was very sick for a very long because of depression and because of not getting kindness and appreciation back in return-- and especially always doing things for people but we must learn how to say "NO" and focus on replenishing ourselves too.
Look :) real friends won't need much at all. If they need you when they are in trouble, then they will ask for you. The free things that we really need are emotional stability and sometimes when crazy things happen, like what if a friend gets injured or something or something bad happens to them-- you need to be there for them emotionally and prepared to help them or support them. ~ sometimes the hardest things for people to do for others is to be there emotionally for them. Also, to support and actually REALLY help them emotionally (like let's say they are super damn insecure and they need a REALLY big boost for a LONG time) . . . then you need to stand by. Also, you need to know how to communicate.
As for you, you need to take care of yourself too. Sometimes you need to step away from the situation completely and just take a break. But, you also need to realize that sometimes people just take advantage of you. If they do, then walk away and realize that those people are not your friends. If they have helped you with emotional problems or with anything of that sort, instead of buying you things, then that's good. If they are always there for you when you need to talk or want to talk, then that's good! Also, express your feelings to them. Express how you feel, you HAVE to tell them your feelings and if there is any sign of remorse or guilt, then that means that they may have been taking advantage of you-- OR that they were just not aware of the situation occurring. If they care enough about you, they'll start to see what happened and start really taking care of you again and your own needs.
Right now, I don't really have many friends. I have acquaintances. I thought I had a lot of good friends but we don't talk, we don't see each other, etc. I feel very awkward with people and I like for them to talk to me first. There are some people I have tried creating some nice relationships with but they end up superficial. It's also on my part too :p I think I have bipolarity with friendships sometimes because sometimes I feel like not talking to them (starting conversations). When I have tried, sometimes it just did not work out for me (people could not talk about different things with me LOL >>;) however, I still try to help them whenever they need me at times. So, I have a few real friends to talk to and depend on. I'm still looking for more friends who I can feel comfy with, open up to, have fun with, be there for them, etc :) It's just who I am.
So, who are you? I have been focusing on my own needs for a few years now, because I really need it. Before, I was very insecure and was very emotionally unstable. That was also because of the lack of friends and I felt like I couldn't depend on myself. Now I am starting to get better and even though I have been distancing myself away from people more, I feel happier. I can finally say that.
So, please take your time to find new friends. If you have one good friend in a group of 10-15 friends, be happy and do not let them go. They are good to you and you should be good to them too. ^^
Last edited by Michiyo Shimizu at 2:06:08 PM EST on November 16, 2013.
I am not a follower, I am a friend. I do not ask for subscribers, only friends.