I apologize for the very long delay in deciding the challenge. Here are my comments:
GRAMMAR AND SPELLING: There seems to be a lack of appropriate punctuation in this song parody. Though it still managed to work without it, I would've preferred to have them in the parody.
As for spelling, I don't seem to see any errors.
COMPLIANCE WITH INSTRUCTIONS: You've managed to comply with the instructions. Good job on that.
ORIGINALITY: I can see that some lyrics were taken from the original song. However, the song in general is quite original. Excellent job!
CLARITY OF INTENDED MESSAGE: The intended message seems to be clear, in my opinion. If I'm not mistaken, it centers around the Bleach anime series without Aizen. So good job on that.
SMOOTH FLOW OF THE TUNE WITH THE LYRICS: I seem to have a problem with the timing of the tune with your lyrics. That may be because some of the lyrics tend to be quite fast, especially with some stanzas near the end. It's a shame that this was never performed in the convention you mentioned, since it might turn out to be more amazing when we can actually hear it being sung. Hopefully, you and your friends can perform this sometime and possibly post this on YouTube. It won't affect the challenge results, but it could at least entertain people.
OVERALL: The song parody was quite unique since it is presented in a manner that it appears to be intended for a musical. There were some issues with the timing of the song, but overall it was a very fun song parody. I also commend you on its originality. Great job!
The Mask
Detective Mask (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 12/17/11 | Reply
I apologize for the very long delay in deciding the challenge. Here are my comments:
GRAMMAR AND SPELLING: There seems to be a lack of appropriate punctuation in this song parody. Though it still managed to work without it, I would've preferred to have them in the parody.
As for spelling, I don't seem to see any errors.
COMPLIANCE WITH INSTRUCTIONS: You've managed to comply with the instructions. Good job on that.
ORIGINALITY: I can see that some lyrics were taken from the original song. However, the song in general is quite original. Excellent job!
CLARITY OF INTENDED MESSAGE: The intended message seems to be clear, in my opinion. If I'm not mistaken, it centers around the Bleach anime series without Aizen. So good job on that.
SMOOTH FLOW OF THE TUNE WITH THE LYRICS: I seem to have a problem with the timing of the tune with your lyrics. That may be because some of the lyrics tend to be quite fast, especially with some stanzas near the end. It's a shame that this was never performed in the convention you mentioned, since it might turn out to be more amazing when we can actually hear it being sung. Hopefully, you and your friends can perform this sometime and possibly post this on YouTube. It won't affect the challenge results, but it could at least entertain people.
OVERALL: The song parody was quite unique since it is presented in a manner that it appears to be intended for a musical. There were some issues with the timing of the song, but overall it was a very fun song parody. I also commend you on its originality. Great job!
Thanks for participating!
"Students, be ambitious!"
divisionten
Otakuite++ | Posted 06/20/10 | Reply
@TimeChaser:
Thanks. Wonder why and will fix pronto.
EDIT: Fixed. Thanks for the catch. Check and see if it is right now.
Last edited by divisionten at 5:23:11 PM CDT on June 20, 2010.
Sam & Max Ep 305-Sam: One recipie to rule them all and one egg to bind it!
TimeChaser
Madman With a Box (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 06/20/10 | Reply
Half the thing is striked through. o3o
Bazinga!