Here, I will be sharing funny stories, pictures, and perhaps videos. They are not made by me and this world won't be updated too frequently.
Well, this is just for fun and is not meant to offend anyone! Enjoy the jokes, Let's SPREAD THE LAUGHTER! =D
- Created By Blue Latte
Billing
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.
Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.
After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"
"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.
The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.
When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.
www.coolfunnyjokes.com
Two Blind Pilots
Two blind pilots both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.
Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming.
The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport. As it begins to look as though the plane will plough in to the water, panicked screams fill the cabin. At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into t heir magazines, secure in the knowledge that the pl ane is in good hands.
In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says,"ya know, Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."
www.onlyfunnystories.com
Blond Cops
A Policeman was drilling 3 blondes, who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the 1st blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first blonde answers " That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye" The policeman says "Well...Uh.. that's because the picture shows his profile" Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asked her "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says "Ha! He'd be easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and ear are showing because it's a picture of his profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?" Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" He adds quickly "....think hard before giving a stupid answer" The Blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says "HMMMM... the suspect is wearing contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless, because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that is a good answer.. wait here for a few minutes while I check his file, and I'll get back to you on that" He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "WoW! I can't believe it...it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contacts lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?" "That's easy" the blonde replied. "He can't wear glasses because he only has one eye and one ear!"
Skin Graft
A married couple were in a terrible accident in which the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too thin. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honour their secret. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, ''Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you.'' "My darling,'' he replied, ''Think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.''
Some Things You Just Can't Explain
A farmer was sitting in the neighborhood bar getting drunk. A man came in and asked the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day, getting drunk?" The farmer shook his head and replied, "Some things you just can't explain."
"So what happened that's so horrible?" the man asked as he sat down next to the farmer.
"Well," the farmer said, "today I was sitting by my cow, milking her. Just as I got the bucket full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket."
"Okay," said the man, "but that's not so bad." "Some things you just can't explain," the farmer replied. "So what happened then?" the man asked. The farmer said, "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left."
"And then?"
"Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket."
The man laughed and said, "Again?" The farmer replied, "Some things you just can't explain." "So, what did you do then?" the man asked.
"I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right."
"And then?"
"Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail."
"Hmmm," the man said and nodded his head. "Some things you just can't explain," the farmer said.
"So, what did you do?" the man asked.
"Well," the farmer said, "I didn't have anymore rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in ... Some things you just can't explain."
