name: ayame sakura yuuki and my last name is confedential.
age: 16
b-day:9~29~93
location:currently? my room
born:okinawa japan
gender: seriously?
grade:high school
height: 5'4 1/2 exactly ^^
weight: 110.4 O.o;
relationship status: single for 16 years and...not loving it as much as i used to
home location:some where in the world
hair; currently in layers. naturally golden blond, currently Black on bottom and faded red on top (I need a bottle of red dye stat! or for my henna hair dye to FINALLY arive!! DX<)
eyes: dark green with blue, gold, and silver. they also change color
likes:poetry, the dark, drawing, reading, writing, singing, cosplaying, acting,school festival prep(sooooo much funner than the actual festival...ok, maybe not but its pretty close!!!)clean up festival duty(bon fire! and dancing!)pocky, martial arts
dislikes:going home after a festival(i once stayed at school a week to prepare, attend, and clean up after a festival! i didnt go home lol!)falling asleep on the train after a festival(...no comment)sweets otherr than pocky
favorite weapons: katana's, niginata's, anything sharp really, a solid bamboo staff with a red string tied to the top, a dodgeball, myself *evil grin*
nicknames:Aya, Hime, Saku,neko-chii(i tend to wear neko ears at times, chan-chan, mika-mika, doki-doki, kitsune, cherry, yuu-yuu, snow, koi, love, porcelain, marrionette, mistress, loli(lolita) poku, sweet-sama, Kawaii-chin, still doll
biggest problem: waaaaay to over protective older sister, look at relationship status -_-;;;
other problems: sleeping habits
biggest weakness:books
the one thing i'll run for in a store:...books
favorite color(s): blood red, turquiose, lavender, black, burgendy, pale pale almost white porcelin doll skin pink, hot pink( only when paired with black) neon yellow, emerald gree, saphire blue, ocean blue, blue-green, silver
favorite song currently: Kyandi Beibee by Kawabi Chieco
favorite music video currently: see above
ideal job(s): manga-ka (crosses fingers), daycare teacher ( kids love me and vice versa >U<), potter ( i love working with clay)

theotakuhostclub

ever changing

Theres something people say is amazing. look out your window. look at the people walking. the trees dancing. something that is ever changing. that will never be the same again. its calming. relaxing. and beautiful

blood covered

Have you ever woken up from a dream and felt that it was real? not that it was going to happen but that it already did? not recently but...a long long time ago? before you were born? i keep having these blood covered dreams and the weirdest part is that im totally comfortable. im already in love with blood and all but I could be covered in the blood of my "parents" and just sit there totally calm. its usually the same setting. but not the same time period. and ive looked them up and theyve all happened. and i know every detail that they say. like i was actually a member of the family.

porcelain lives

Love and lies,
statics to you,
alive and well,
go on without being noticed,
a girl of shameful actions,
depression on her mind,
one story to end tragically,
one girl and her struggle,
words spoken over dinner,
ending with slamming of bedroom doors,
a mothers anger,
a daughters tears,
a grandmothers attempt to keep her family Togeather,
day and night,
fights that only end badly,
locked doors and bad music,
a girl and her only escape,
throw downs and let downs,
her life is turned upside down,
by her very own parents,
for only a couple of hours she is isolated at home,
her parents at work,
bad intentions and humiliating memories,
fill her mind,
alone in a house with temptation,
curiosity can kill a soul,
pills and razors are her fate,
cold showers and tears show the pain,
a car door sounds outside,
she scrambles to her feet,
in the dark bathroom,
failing and falling back to the ground,
blood staining the floor,
shame filling the air,
she was bleeding on the bathroom floor,
hiding her face in her shaking hands,
blood stained razors and empty pill bottles
emergancy vehicles on their way
phone calls are made
conversations are spoken
options limited down for her
diagnosis is made
depression the name
doctors and medication
a rehab for the mentally unstable
she has let her parents down
truths of loneliness slowly creep upon her
a memory of the good days
plays out in her desperate mind
with nothing left to say
confessions soon fade away
body and soul
seperated by a thousand lies
fear of what the future way hold
tonight and everynight
she cries herself to sleep
her porcelain life was broken
shatttered to the core
with nowhere left to go
she did the only thing she knew
thousands go untreated for many they hit rock bottom
many never know the difference

shame on me

You said you liked me, than pushed me away, told her you loved me, but you were ignoring me, caught you watching me more times than once, but it came to the point you wouldnt look me in the eye, your name on my lips, your eyes on my mind, you fooled of once, i cant help but think, shame on me, thats alright, thats ok, you never cared anyway

-quick little things ive heard or seen or read #1-

-why must i suffer like this? is this a punishment for love?-heh, im looking foreward to regretting this-there is one pain i often feel which you will never know because it is caused by the absence of you-i have PMS and a gun...now what were you going to say?, if life gives you lemons make grape juice them sit back as the world wonders how you did it, just because you paint a picture doesnt mean it fits in the frame, the higher we all climb the further we fall, your best is almost always intercepted by the skeptics to keep you where you are. Dont let them take you alive!!