The Varia-in-Training

It took a while, but Gokudera was finally able to get the girls to stop fighting and had sat them down on opposite ends of a couch. Between them sat Kiyohiko, Damiano and Masaru. Since Gokudera was rather clueless as methods of getting the five-year-old off his leg, the man stood in front of the rest of the children with the kid still hanging there like a limp, strong-jawed doll.

“Alright, I don’t know what possessed your parents to think it was a good idea to leave you brats with me, but I am going to take no more of this nonsense out of you. From now on, you are going to behave.”

“She started it!” Haruhi accused, pointing over at Foschia, who in return stuck out her tongue.

“I don’t care who started it, but I am going to finish it,” Gokudera stated. Kiyohiko looked distressed at the declaration; Masaru seemed confused; Damiano appeared to want to run out of the room right then and there; Foschia remained indifferent and Haruhi pouted.

“That is not how you are supposed to talk to children, Zio Hayato,” smirked a voice. Gokudera looked over and saw his twelve-year-old niece, Rosario.

“I thought you were supposed to be in Venice with your brother and Dino,” Gokudera said grouchily, instantly gaining a slight headache from the sight of the girl. He had no idea that there were more brats wandering around the Compound and where there was Rosario, he knew Xanxus’s hooligan Fausto was not far behind. The two had been near inseparable since they were toddlers.

“I didn’t think it was necessary for me to be around when dad was taking Andrea to go train,” the girl said with such an air, one could have mistaken her for a boy. She looked just like Dino, but with that lavender-pink hair of her mother’s. Hell, she even dressed like she was a boy. “Besides, you look like you need some help with the kids. You seem to lack the proper love in your voice.”

“They’re not that much younger than you, you know,” Gokudera said blandly. Rosario pretended to not hear him, a habit her uncle had long ago accepted.

“Oh, hey there Haruhi-chan!” Rosario said cheerfully. She began to run, only to trip over herself halfway across the room.

“Hiii! You alright Rosario-nee?” Haruhi jumped down off the couch and helped the older girl up.

“Yeah. It’s just that when Leader isn’t around, I always seem to trip and stuff.”

“Leader?” Gokudera asked skeptically. “What in the heck are you talking about?”

“She’s talking about me, Fausto-sama!” shouted a voice from the hallway. Fausto, who was only a year older than Rosario, was a scrappy little thing who had been on a power kick ever since he decided at the age of six that he would succeed his father as the next Varia leader. Unfortunately, Gokudera concluded, this meant he was dragging Rosario in with him.

“Leader!” the girl squealed. She ran over and hugged Fausto around the middle. “Where did you run off to!? I’ve been looking for you for forever!”

“Get off me!” the boy snapped, trying to push Rosario away.

“Alright! Fausto-nii’s here too! Now our group is gonna be extremely fun!”

“Shut up, kid.” Gokudera then turned to Fausto and Rosario, “and why are you two here? Don’t you have your own homes to destroy?”

“Dad’s out on a mission and we’re hungry,” Fausto said plainly. “Feed us, old man.”

“Go to Rosario’s house.”

“I get sick when Mom cooks for me and Dad’s in Venice!”

“Do I look like I care?”

“You should.”

“Can it, Foschia.”

“Don’t tell me what to do, pervert. I saw you holding the Ten Year Bazooka with an almost naked Haruhi in the hallway.”

“Hiiii?!?”

“You were ten years older; don’t worry.”

“Are you taking about the extremely hot nee-san?!”

“Masaru-nii, please calm down…!”

“We’re hungry, damn it!”

“SHUT UP!” Gokudera screamed at the top of his lungs. All the kids looked at him curiously.

“What’s the matter Gokudera-san?” Kiyohiko asked.

“Listen—since it’s late—if I get you kids some food, will you promise to shut the hell up and behave?” Gokudera asked through clenched teeth.

Collective cheering commenced and Osamu relaxed his jaw long enough to allow Gokudera to kick the child off before heading back into the kitchen. The children all ran ahead of him and were sitting eagerly at the table as soon as he entered the room.

“I want burgers!”

“I want chicken!”

“I want eel!”

“Shut up or none of you are getting anything,” Gokudera snarled. The kids immediately froze in their places and watched silently as Gokudera searched the cupboards for some pasta.

A short while after Gokudera began the actual cooking process; Fausto grinned evilly and leaned over to whisper in Rosario’s ear. The girl giggled softly in reply.

“Do you think we could pull it off?” the boy asked.

“We can do anything if we put love into it, Leader; that’s what my mom told me.”

“Alright then.”

Without a sound, Fausto slid out of his chair and underneath the table, hidden by the large countertop island between them and Gokudera. After waiting a few seconds to see whether Gokudera turned around or not, Rosario also slid down. The two tweens made their way stealthily to one of the island’s cupboards that was out of Gokudera’s sight and began rummaging through. In it was some baking supplies for when Haru was feeling gracious enough to make muffins or cookies (her baking and cooking had both come a long way). After letting out an inaudible giggle, Rosario made her way over to the other side of the island and both future assassins waited.

Gokudera could feel something was up; there was no doubt about that. He did not really care for the most part though, for it was just a bunch of stupid little kids and nothing more. Once the pasta had been boiling, he carefully turned off the flame and gingerly picked up the pot so that he could drain the noodles in the colander already sitting in the island sink.

Without warning, Rosario and Fausto jumped up from either end of the island and lobbed their ammo at Gokudera. Unable to move quickly due to the boiling pot, the Guardian reluctantly allowed himself to be pelted with flour and chocolate chips.

Enraged, Gokudera shouted angrily at the kids. He tried to put the pot in the sink, but missed due to the flour in his eyes and dropped it on his foot. Hot water splashed all over Gokudera, scalding him through the skin, and the slippery pasta quickly went underfoot. He fell, making the kids laugh (aside from Kiyohiko, of course, who was getting up to aid the man).

The kids screamed, however, when they saw a piece of dynamite flung into the air.

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A/N: I support Dino/Bianchi...?