Logic is foregone. Copyright infringement runs rampant. People have lost the ability to operate the part of the brain that thinks. Awful plot twists and cookie-cutter angst robot main characters run free. Welcome...

To Naruto, the wildly popular (and highly overrated) Jump series about a boy and his ADD, a girl and her utter uselessness, and a boy and his nonsensical angst-driven decisions. Every week, I shall tell you what Masashi Kishimoto did wrong. And trust me, the list gets longer each week. Naturally, there will be spoilers. I'm not going to warn you about those, though. I'm going to warn you that the contents of each chapter are horrifying and strange. So why do I lampoon them and tear them to shreds each week? It's a community service, I think. Anyway, let the terror begin.

Mystery Naruto Theatre 3000: Chapter 415

Oh, crap. Sasuke's bleeding Shenanigan eye is staring straight at me like it's about to pop out. I can already tell how much I'm going to enjoy tearing this chapter asunder. So anyway, Sasuke literally stares at the Demon Ox until it catches on fi...

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Mystery Naruto Theatre 3000: Chapter 414

"What does the scout ninja say about his chakra level?" "It's over NINE THOUSAAAND!" "Shut up, Karin!" Anyway, that's pretty much how the chapter starts. That and Suigetsu wetting himself (I made a funny!) Let's have a look at...

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Mystery Naruto Theatre 3000: Chapter 413

Number 8 is... 8-Tails. That makes sense. He looks kinda like Naruto does in one-tail mode. Sasuke noticed too. Good for him. He activates his shenanigans and does this weird flippy thing over the guy. Apparently only Sasuke and Killer 'Bi's broth...

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Mystery Naruto Theatre 3000: Chapter 412

The first page is chock full of mirth and glee. It would seem Sasuke is finally about to stop breathing! For real this time, too! I guess I don't need to read the rest of the chapter. I've seen enough. I'll just check the next page to make sure no...

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Mystery Naruto Theatre 3000: Chapter 411

Chapter 411 Chapter opens with Sasuke approaching 8-Tails, who appears to be throwin' up gang signs. Juugo is standing again for some reason. Oh, so is Suigetsu. Before the actual fight, they spend about 3 pages whining about how they have ...

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