I'm back and ready to review again but don't get too used to it, this is the first time I've found time to do this in weeks so I'll start off with something easy in the Angry Birds Movie.
Red is an Angry Bird..................Before you switch off, the island of birds is home to all birds in different shapes and sizes and all are happy but Red is naturally angry and has become isolated as a result; tired of this, the judge sends him to anger management where he meets other birds, Bomb and Chuck whom he becomes reluctant friends with. The peace is disturbed when the pigs arrive led by Leonard, the pig's King; initially arriving as friends it soon becomes more and more obvious to Red that the pigs are up to something which he is proven right when all the eggs are stolen. With no help from their Eagle Guardian, the birds bombard the Pig's Island with the catapult they gave them and take back the eggs.
For a narrative and considering it's basically a story of Angry Birds, there's not much to write about and not much to get wrong so it's difficult to mess up, so this movie can be considered a success. Well that's putting it strongly, I didn't dislike it and Red is a very charming character but I seriously don't want to hear Josh Gad's voice anymore in cartoon films, Frozen is enough.
So do I like it? Yeah, it's a silly adventure, it's non offensive and way more watchable than many of it's other video game films so good job Angry Birds for making care about your little mobile phone franchise again. Pity I still won't play your games.
Illumination double time as we now do Sing.
In animal world, Buster Moon runs the theatre he always dreamed of running, but many years of poor performances, building falling into disrepair and spiralling debts has led to it's near ruin until a last chance idea of running a singing contest tries to rebuild it's once glorious popularity with a promise of a cash prize for the winner.
The singers Buster plans to use are as follows.
Rosita: Over worked mother who gave up teenage dreams of stardom to become a housewife to 25 piglets.
Mike: An aspiring musician with a jerkish attitude to back up his talent, who often acts bigger than he looks.
Ash: An aspiring rock star in a difficult relationship.
Johnny: A teen caught up in his dad's crimes as a getaway driver.
Meena: The obvious too nervous to sing best singer of the group.
and we can't forget Gunter the overly flamboyant dancer in Rosita's performance.
While trying to setup it becomes more and more obvious that Buster Moon is playing with fire as a series of events leads to the theatre getting more and more ruined and the promise of prize money looking more like a pipe dream, even the singers start getting into trouble as Meena fails the audition, Johnny's dad and gang get thrown in jail, Ash breaks up with her boyfriend, Rosita feels out of her league working with Gunter and Mike gets into trouble with local mobsters which actually leads to the theatre being demolished.
On the verge of giving up and returning to his father's past time as a car washer, Buster Moon receives some inspiration from Meena and decides to have one last crack at it leading to the final concert.
Against Secret Life of Pets this is a much better showing of Illumination's abilities and turned a cheesy concept into a half decent movie, the characters are all likeable and Buster Moon while looking like a character desperately clutching at straws actually offers good advice to his singers which pays off massively when they all perform, there's no mean spirits about what he's trying to do either and he accepts it hard when it all comes crashing down, boundless optimism can kill a movie if done wrong but this is done well enough to use it as it's main strength and the pay off is sooo worth it at the brilliant concert at the end.
More films like Sing and less like Secret Life of Pets please Illumination.
Next up, the secret life of pets.
Max is a dog whose owner spoils him to death, this is normal life among the other pets of New York City, this is until the peace is broken when Max's owner comes in with a new dog called Duke who immediately ruins everything, intially trying to control Duke by blackmail, the two dogs end up cornered in a cat alley where a series of events ends up with them being captured by the pound and then human hating animals called the "Flushed". Gidget not wanting to stand idle along with the other neighbours pets, goes after Max as they chase him to Brooklyn where more series of events ends in being captured again and a chase to Brooklyn Bridge that nearly ends in tears. Afterwards the two dogs make peace and continue their lives.
This movie is messy and in some cases mean spirited in a number of ways. I'm familiar with the unwanted guest plotline and seeing where it goes, finding a cult and trying to understand one another through the journey. I've seen it before and I've seen it done better. The funnier moments is when there is no dialogue and your watching the animals do their thing behind closed doors and that's just the trailers repeating again and to be honest I'd take that over the rest of the film, everything else is just not well done at all, both dogs come off as being unlikeable and the situation goes from being friendly and kept within certain universal laws to very convoluted and stupid.
This actually ends up being the most disappointing of the recent rise in quality animated films and it didn't need to be.
Now for a classic in the Swan Princess.
A prince and a princess of neighbouring Kingdoms meet up every summer in an effort to fall in love with each other to unite the Kingdoms, only they don't get along during the time of the opening musical number right to the end of their childhoods. Puberty hits and they do fall in love. Only Prince Derek lost some brain cells as he can't think of any other quality than beauty as to why he should marry Princess Odette. Odette rejects Derek only to get ambushed by the evil sorcerer Rothbart who curses Odette to transform into a swan and can only return to normal in the Moonlight of Swan Lake.
After befriending some animals Odette must find a way to escape while Derek refusing to believe Odette had been killed by a great beast tries to find Odette himself with his best friend in which he succeeds after some mistakes but Rothbart has a backup plan in disguising his henchwoman as Odette with his magic as the only way to break Odette's spell is a vow of everlasting love which fails as Derek declares his love for the disguised henchwoman. After a final battle with Rothbart, the spell is broken and happy endings for all.
They tried so hard to make a Disney style film that it's almost plagiarism, but apart from the beginning the rest is ridiculously cheesy and over the top to the point where the film is a slow motion trainwreck, but saying that, it's so ridiculous that it's also very fun, made even funnier when Derek becomes the Prince from Enchanted with all the over the top declarations and speeches, this coming from a child who previously hated Odette; that's puberty for you.
After Swan Princess were sequels, bad sequels, coming up to today there are 5 sequels and a 6th one in production, someone thought it did better than it really did.
Now for the worst pilots, same criteria.
25. Riddhe Marcenas from Gundam Unicorn
He didn't need to kill Marida Cruz and the whole Newtype hating is getting old now.
24. Gyunei Guss from Char's Counterattack
Sounds like he's called goose, also fairly underwhelming for a member of Char's team.
23. Trowa Barton from Gundam Wing
Anyone can pilot Heavyarms, nothing but guns and missiles standing still with an occassional army knife.
22. Kou Uraki from Stardust Memory
GATO!!!! GATO!!!! Shut up!!!!
21. Rosamia Badam from Zeta Gundam
Psycho Gundam pilot, very forgettable.
20. Elle Viano from ZZ Gundam
Of the Double Zeta crowd she's the most underwhelming, at least Beecha Oleg had some leadership qualities.
19. M'Quve from Gundam
The Gyan was a fine machine, pity he cared more for a stupid vase than his own life.
18. Emma Sheen from Zeta Gundam
Started in the Titans and had the sense to leave but never really improved as a character.
17. Gentle Chapman from G Gundam
He's meant to be a multiple Gundam Fight Champion but he's so underwhelming as a threat.
16. Slegger Law from Gundam
Never been a fan of the whole cowboy dandy style character who's ready for cannon fodder, any wonder no one remembers him.
15.Glemy Toto from ZZ Gundam
Had some guts to challenge Haman Karn but is really weak compared to other characters in Neo Zeon such as Cello and Haman that many of his challenges are forgettable.
14. Shinn Asuka from Gundam Seed Destiny
Undeserving of the Gundam Destiny and in dire need of a punch to the face.
13. Four Murasame from Zeta Gundam
Psycho Gundam is very unforgiving to it's pilots and the whole going insane Cyber Newtype trait got old very quick.
12. Katz Kobayashi from Zeta Gundam
Completely unsuited for combat and deserved his death in the end.
11. Yzak Joule from Gundam Seed
Spent a good portion of the series crying over a cut to his face, Dilandau he isn't.
10. George De Sand from G Gundam
A poor imitation of the funnels from the Qubeley really doesn't do this Gundam justice and is the most underwhelming of the Shuffle Alliance.
9. Jerid Messa from Zeta Gundam
I kind of feel slightly bad for Jerid always losing but in the end he brought it on himself for being a Titan.
8. Hallelujah Haptism from Gundam 00
The dumbest name ever to be used in Gundam and not even a likeable character.
7. Lalah Sune from Gundam
Got dragged into the whole One Year War because she had newtype powers and died pretty quickly and cheaply.
6. Kamille Bidan from Zeta Gundam
He could've avoided much of his misfortune, the loss of life and the many disasters that befell him if he wasn't so butthurt over someone making fun of his name. Real hero Kamille, real hero. *Sarcastic clapping*
5. Quess Paraya from Char's Counterattack
Poor substitute of all previous Psycho Gundam pilots Lalah Sune and Elpeo Purus. Worst of the lot.
4. Hathaway Noa from Char's Counterattack
Joins the battle and kills Chan Agi in a rage. Only sortie and you kill your ally. Dumbass!
3. Graham Aker from Gundam 00
Started as a reasonable rival character to Setsuna only to turn into the world's worst Char Clone with a dopey name like Mr Bushido. Not helped by a dreadful Mobile Suit Design.
2. Reccoa Londe from Zeta Gundam
Joined the Titans by choice from the AEUG.......Considering their terrible history why?!?!? Was Scirocco really that appealing? Terrible life choice there.
1. Garrod Ran from Gundam X
A friend of mine responded to Gundam X like this. "What's a Gundam X?" That's kind of the reason why he's number one. No one really cares for Gundam X, Garrod Ran as a character himself isn't really the best either, he's full of himself and doesn't have a great voice. He's meant to be a lead character as well.