My darlings, welcome to Momma Love's Movies with Momma Love! You see, I've always wanted to do movie reviews and such but my friends always say that I'm stupid for trying because I don't know movies. Trust me, I've seen a ton of movies. Sure they're not diverse but I know the difference between good and bad. So, here is where I will tell you which movies you ought and ought not see. I know that won't stop some of you from going to the movies and seeing these horrible things but, if you go, see it in 2D. There's nothing more disappointing that seeing a terrible movie in 3D, you waste money and you waste precious time.

WARNING THERE WILL BE MAD SPOILERS IN THIS WORLD SO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! I'LL TRY TO KEEP SPOILAGE TO A MINIMUM FOR MOVIES IN THEATERS BUT OTHER THAN THAT I WILL CONSIDER IT FREE GAME!

Without further adieu, welcome to Momma Love's Movies!

Reviews Done So Far

Snow White and the Huntsmen (2012)
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 48% (Rotten)

The Avengers (2012)
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 93% (Fresh)

Brave (2012)
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 76% (Fresh)

The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 74% (Fresh)

Old vs. New: Spider-Man

Neo Ned (2005)
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 80% (Fresh)

Hunger Games (2012)
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 85% (Fresh)

Spider-Man 3 (2007)
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 63% (Fresh)
Completely Wrong.

Stick It (2006)
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 31% (Rotten)

Charlie Bartlett (2007)
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 56% (Rotten)

Never Let Me Go (2010)
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 71% (Fresh)

Hugo (2011)
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 94% (Fresh)

Breaking Dawn: Part 2 (2012)
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 48% (Rotten)

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 65% (Fresh)

Life of Pi (2012)
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 88% (Fresh)

Ten Inch Hero (2007)
Rotten Tomatoes rating: Unavailable

Next Review: Les Miserables (2012)

Favourite Quote from a Movie
"Say something."
"I'm not good at saying something..."
"Then come here.
Please."

Identity Thief (2013)

Strap on your diapers kids. You're going to piss your pants.

Not a scene went by during this movie where I wasn't holding my gut in raucous laughter. It was insane. When someone told me that the Chef from Gilmore Girls was going to star in a comedy alongside the pervy husband from Juno this is not what I expected at all. I thought I was going to get a chuckle in here or there. Instead I got laugh cramps. I don't know if those exist... but I had them. My sides and throat hurt from laughing so much.

Story/Plot wise, this movie's a bit confusing and the rest of it can be a little disturbing. But if you're having a bad week: buy yourself a ticket to Identity Thief and you'll be rolling around in the aisles, holding your sides laughing until you burst.

xoxo, Momma Love

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

Okay. Saw this with the boys and it was a little like Grimm meets Underworld in a way. Pure guts and gore for guts and gore sake, ridiculous 3D shots, fugly witches for the win, and a Gothic twist on a children's classic. This is by no means an Oscar worthy movie but it entertains. At least it entertains someone who likes the guts and gore purely for guts and gore. The violence gets to a point of impossibility that it's hilarious. I was laughing my way through 65% of this movie. I'm also insane so that could mean absolutely nothing.

So if you like guts, Jeremy Renner doing chicks in skeevy ponds, Gemma Arterton headbutting whoever she feels like, predictable plot twists, pervy dudes who grope you in your sleep, and Siamese twin witches crawling at you exorcism style, this movie is a must see.

Or if you're from Russia. Because this is a big hit over there. ;)

xoxo, Momma Love

Rise of the Guardians (2012)

Where to begin: The Magic of Disney, the Story of Pixar, and the Visual Brilliance of Dreamworks all wrapped up into one. That's Rise of the Guardians in a nutshell. All I can say is that you'll love the banter between Bunnymund and Jack, you'll love North with his broken sentences and Russian accent, and... you'll love all of it! I don't know where to start!

A true children's story that's enjoyable for all ages. With the well known voices of Hugh Jackman, Chris Pine, and Jude Law, everyone will having something to be nostalgic about. Falls slightly below the bar for spanning shots that're supposed to be "magical", other than that, Rise of the Guardians can do no wrong.

xoxo, Momma Love

Taking Requests!

Salut tout le monde! Just Momma Love here letting you all know that I am taking requests when it comes to movies! If there's this movie out there that you want to see but you're not quite sure if it's going to be worth your money or not that's when you come here and tell me to watch it first so you're not let down when you spend the money on the rental, or the actual movie, and then it'll just sit in your DVD bin for the next 13 years. I know this isn't a typical thing here on theO and I'm not expecting the "request" part to really take off. I'm still giving it a shot. DON'T YOU LOVE ME?

xoxo, Momma Love

Ten Inch Hero (2007)

And a beautiful relationship was born

Hello all! Welcome to my review of Ten Inch Hero as requested by Ritona Raito!

This is a movie I had for a long time but kept putting it off because it looked "odd". Turns out, this movie is one of those rare feel good movies that actually is really good. At its heart it's a story of 5 people who work in a sandwich shop as they try to convince each other that the only way that they'll be happy is if they be themselves. You will laugh and you will sway with girly feelings. Not a complete heart wrencher yet it still proves to pull at the strings. If you're looking for a casual movie with the girls, butter the popcorn, bubble the cola and pull up a seat, this is the movie for you! In my personal opinion I don't think guys would enjoy this movie very much, as a side-note.

And, if you love Jensen Ackles, this is a good opportunity to see him be absolutely silly and love every second of it.

xoxo, Momma Love