Well, here I am. People who know me love me whether they like it or not. It's a burden since I dislike most people. You can find My actual Life HERE. I have many fandoms, and many likes but I have yet to find passion in a pasttime. You are welcome as long as you behave.
I figure as long as STAN can live here, I can too. Here's round two.
I'm feeling lighter and more relaxed than I have in weeks. I gave up the high road and my dignity and openly wept and begged my husband to stay yesterday. It's not working, but after hours and hours of crying and talking and consoling and being exhausted, I am finally reaching reluctant acceptance. I have no idea what is going to happen next. He went apartment hunting today. But at least he's staying in the city, unless he has lost his job. Then he might not...
As far as anything else. I have no idea what is going on in the world. I've been very self absorbed lately. Except for THE OLYMPICS. I love them. That and the Russia/Georgia conflict. I fing the whole thing VERY interesting. I do not trust Puttin for anything except trying to strengthen Mother Russia...
Oh well, ce la vie
Life: 08/19/08 | Posted By: molletta | 2 comments |
Alright, I'm on lunch at work, and today hasn't been terrible. my customers have been nice for the most part, and not time consuming, which is good. What is it about cafeteria sloppy joe that makes me happy-ish? I will never be able to tell you.
Watch the Olympics. They are excellent and exciting!
My younger brother is taking his final vows next Sunday. This is a huge step in his life, and I'm kind of excited for him. Not to mention he's moving to Washington DC on the following Monday to get his Master's Degree. No wonder He's the favorite.
thanks to those of you who are being a huge support to me, and I'm sorry I'm being a huge whiney baby. It's okay, I can admit it. I'm gonna try and not be a sad sack of shit anymore.
Schultzie, don't cuss in the chat.
*smooch*
Life: 08/13/08 | Posted By: molletta | 4 comments |
I'm chillin' watching Olympic gymnastics. The American women are not doing all that well. I just want to say, if I've never said it here before, I love Bob Costas. I have to say, I think that balance beam may be my favorite womens gymnastic event. I'm not so sure I enjoy the new scoring.
I'm at the apartment all alone, and Liz left for Virginia today. She'll be gone for a month. I don't know how long I'll be here, but it's slightly awkward hangin' out with just Ian, Liz's boyfriend, and Sage, their two year old daughter. I miss Jordan, and I am very tempted to go home, but this is my power play, and I can't ruin it for myself. I did go home for a bit both yesterday and today. I stayed about an hour or two both days. It's nice to see him, and they were pleasant visits. He asked if being away is helping me at all and I don't really know. I just wonder if he's missing me at all, but it would be both needy and stupid to ask. It's a good sign that he asked me, at least I'm taking it as one.
Schultzie and RED, congrats on being promoted to LEGEND. That's great. I'm going to spend my life as an otakuite.
my nephews start school tomorrow, and my sister is so excited. Of course, their starting school means that her part time job at school is going to start again too. She's kind of less excited about that. It was super awesome to hang with her and her family yesterday, but I pulled a muscle in my calf. BOO!
Back to work tomorrow. It's going to be a little weird. A guy I'm aquainted with at work passed away this weekend. None of you will ever know him, but I hope you believe me when I tell you, the world is a less friendly place without him.
It's saturday evening. I'm sitting at the computer, enduring joint pain brought on by the rain and an excellent day at the zoo.
I woke up to rain this morning and thought that the plan my sister and I had made for the zoo was shot. I was about 2 hours before we were scheduled to meet though and mother nature graced us with an end to the rain. We had lovely temperature and no crowds due to the showers in the morning. We went over every exhibit except the petting zoo. My nephews were pretty good all day, and we spent like 6 hours at the zoo. It was so much fun.
After the zoo, we did a small amount of shopping and I ran by my house to drop off my stuff. I hung out with Jordan for almost an hour, and it was kind of nice. I miss him, and I miss my dog. I showed up this morning to hang out with my dog, and Jordan was up to take them out. It shocked me... It was like 9 am. He sleep til 2 pm most days. he was just getting up to let the dogs out, and I'm glad to know that he's been doing that. I was worried that they'd be spending a lot more time in their crates since I left.
I went out with Lacy last night, and I'm heading out with some other friends tonight. I think I might need a nap first though.
Once I made it back to Liz's house, it started pouring. Nice of it to wait. I appreciated that.
When I was a kid, this series of books and dolls came out the were called "American Girls." One of them was name Molly. She was a WWII era girl who wore pigtail braids and glasses. I have been given the books in both hard and paperbacks. I have never even opened any of them. That has nothing to do with anything. I was just staring at my bookself and noticed them. My grandmother on my mother's side gave them to me. I never got the doll. I guess that's probably due to two reasons. 1) I don't like dolls and 2)my grandmother doesn't really care for me.
Sometimes I feel like I'm only real because someone told me I was. Kind of like that Velveteen Rabbit. I'm only real because 1 person loved me enough to tell me I so. Now that person grew up and left me to the reality they thrust upon me. I would rather have stayed a toy on the floor...
Alright, so that's probably more dire than my actual situation, but I'm prone to hyperbole. maybe it's not exageration, and I just don't want to face it.
I told my spouse that he was a bad husband, and that I didn't appreciate the way he has been treating me. We had a talk, resolved nothing and now he has moved himself into the guest room. We've barely been in each other's presence at all in the last week. My house is uncomfortable with strain and I wonder if I shouldn't just let him run off and be a fucking whatever it is he wants. He doesn't want to put any effort into being married. I'm frustrated, and if I were giving advice to someone not me, I'd tell her to get the fuck out at this point. It's different when it's me...
I've been seeking advice from trusted friends, and none of them have any. I'm thinking of just moving out for a couple of weeks. Putting a bit of distance between us. It may tip the scales one way or the other.
I don't really post much right now because this is consuming my brain, and I get tired of whining about it over and over.
i'm so angry at myself. I'm angry I didn't see it until it was too late. I'm angry I can't figure out what to do, and I'm angry that I don't want to be without him. I don't want to be alone. But what's the difference, I'm alone if he's here. I'm alone if he's gone.
Life: 08/04/08 | Posted By: molletta | 3 comments |