Well, here I am. People who know me love me whether they like it or not. It's a burden since I dislike most people. You can find My actual Life HERE. I have many fandoms, and many likes but I have yet to find passion in a past time. You are welcome as long as you behave.

I figure as long as STAN can live here, I can too. Here's round two.



Every Once in a While

I go full on sociopath and forget that other people have feeling and how they work. I guess today I not only walked all over several peoples' feelings, I jumped up and down on them. I can't tell if I'm actually sorry or I think I should be sorry or I'm just telling myself people expect me to say I'm sorry.

My dogs are snuggly and their feelings are easier. I'll stick with them.

Ashes, Ashes We All Fall Down!

Howdy folks,

Been a minute. I wish I could say I've been up to all kinds of interesting things but alas, I am not that big of a liar.

I got a new job in November 2014. My previous job at the day labor place had become unbearable. I was working in a 3 person office where the two people who aren't me hated each other. They might have hated me, too. I don't know. There was a lot of hate there. It was toxic. Due to this circumstance, I found new employment. I really like my new job. I am paid better, appreciated more and primarily left alone to get my shit done. I'm so good with all of this.

I'm worried about my Demian Dog. He has some sizable growths on his chest. I may be paid better at the new job, but I'm still pretty goddamn poor and have shitty credit so I can't just get a credit card to rack up vet bills on. He doesn't make any indication that they hurt, but he's been getting progressively affection hungry the last few weeks. I have been in constant fear of this dog's death for about four years now. I am projecting things on to him, I hope.

In other news, I've been loitering alone in chat most nights just in case someone stumbles in there is a friendly person there and they aren't rebuffed at the loneliness. Stop in and see me, I'm cool. I'm of course doing other things and not just staring at my screen with no one to chat with. But at least it isn't empty is someone wanders in.

Spending the Night with Spike Speigel

It's 1 AM and I'm laying in my bed watching Cowboy Bebop DVDs. Tired but not sleepy, my mind is running and running, but it's going so fast that I'm not even sure what's whizzing by.

A few weeks ago, my friend posted a link to her facebook. She lives in Oklahoma and works for urbangirl.com. The link was for an inventory control manager. No listing of pay, but I didn't really give is a serious look because I am stuck buying an unsellable house. It's unsellable because I can't afford to fix the things that are making it fall apart around me. Anyway, she posted it on June 20th. On that day, my sister had commented that I should look at it. Well, today my friend also commented, asking if I would seriously be interested. Ever since she posted that comment, I can't help but be interested. I hate my boss. I tolerate my co-workers. I play on facebook all day because I have nothing to do. I have a handful of friends, all of whom have recently moved into the parenting stage of their lives.

Jordan and I got divorced almost 4 years ago, and I never really moved forward. I bought me house and stayed there. Maybe moving to a new city with a decent job would be a good thing.

I am in a really weird mood tonight. I feel buoyant and yet on the cusp of a depressive precipice, which I feel like I spelled wrong. I just have a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, and it's been there for days.

Life is strange, and so am I.

For some reason, that song often randomly pops in my head.

Disconcerting thoughts wander through my head. Idle hands have nothing on idle minds.

Middle of Nowhere

There are people who have accused me of living in the middle of nowhere. You know what? I like the middle of nowhere. Look and see why.

This guy is from my first home town and he now lives in my college town. Kansas is beautiful, and I love where I live.


It's SNOWING!!!!! This makes me so Happy, I can barely describe it. It's so nice, no blizzard, no wind... Just a gently falling snow.