Well, here I am. People who know me love me whether they like it or not. It's a burden since I dislike most people. You can find My actual Life HERE. I have many fandoms, and many likes but I have yet to find passion in a past time. You are welcome as long as you behave.

I figure as long as STAN can live here, I can too. Here's round two.



Fictitious things

What Hath We Wrought?

Sometimes I have feelings and nowhere to put them and I remember I can still store them here because to IRL people this place doesn't exist. I'm certain your 2020 has been excellent with no hiccups in your laid out plans whatsoever.

Today my feelings have rankled me in that as a childless person with a best friend who is a Pinterest Mom, I don't have the capacity to care about your children at the level you're asking me to. Don't get me wrong, I like your kids better than most, and I think sometimes you're too hard on them in an effort to have, "good kids." But fuck me, I have trouble sharing your excitement about school picture proofs and how cute whichever one was today.

This is not me saying you should stop being excited about your kids, or whatever. This is me asking you to recognize I don't have the capacity to share these things. It exhausts me to reply to every message about them. I realy want to support you in your passions, but they have grandparents who will happily fawn over all your proud moments and off hand joy of your children. I'm good for occasionally.

That's all. I feel better.

So, There's This Thing...

I tried napping in my car for lunch today. I have all the back seats laid flay because dogs, so my front seat doesn't recline. I crawled in the back seat and tried to nap. I was comfy, but I kept thinking someone would walk by and think I was dead or something lol. No sleep was had this day...

Today Is Long

*long groaning noise that I cannot even fathom how to spell* It's only Wednesday. That's dumb. My brain and I are at war today and it's exhausting. It's been ramping up for days. I keep trying to live my life and do productive things...

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Steve Martin Is the Best Dentist

Have you seen Little Shop of Horrors and Steve Martin's dentist character? If not, then go do it right now.

I haven't been to the dentist in almost 10 years. Even with insurance, dental work is expensive. I can no longer avoid it. I have a molar that has been painlessly broken for almost 2 years. I keep it clean, we're all hunky dory. Tuesday it decided my Karma is all bad and I deserve ALL THE MOUTH PAIN. I've been brought to ALL STOP tears a few times in the last few days. Now I need to find a new dentist (one of the reasons I stopped going was that my dentist that I loved moved away and I'm lazy when it comes to these things), and hope for an immediate appointment. Then pay for a root canal, and listen to a lecture about prevention and yadda yadda, be told my wisdom teeth need removed (they don't) and schedule an all day visit to take care of my other issues that are not immediate pain. In the midst of this, literally go to the bank and apply for a loan to cover my dental work. That may sound extreme, but I guarantee that I'll get a better interest rate that way than putting it on a credit care and I have at least a couple of grand of work to do, even with insurance. These last 2 weeks are trying my patience.

Everything's done right, but it's all wrong

Sonuvabitch if these damn dogs aren't gonna be the death of me.

I have gotten into a habit of double and triple checking that is closed all the kennels before leaving the house. Today that didn't matter. Tempest and Hudson both somehow broke out of their kennels today. The front panel of tempest's was knocked outward, Hudson's was pulled inward. I have no clue what instigated the escape, but once out, the beat up my Lucy girl. She'll be fine, but she's going to be sore for a while. She's got a dozen puncture wounds and a Gash on her head that might need stitches, but we've got antibiotics and pain killers, so we'll probably be just fine. If just makes me worry, though.