drew's amazing.
andmybestfriend.
what kind of girl would be so obsessed with you me at six and all time low?
that'd be me. i'm that girl. jessica's the name, and lying is the game. but lying's not always the game, i didn't lie about my obsession right there. i am obsessed with atl and youmeatsix. i can name all of all time low's song just by hearing it, and i know most of the songs from you me at six.
oh my. here i am trying to "wow" you with some decent first impression and already you think of me as some lying band obsessed teenager. well, you must know there is more to me then that.
like my swagger. and my legit-ness. it's pretty ghetto crazy.
if you're anybody who knows anything, then you'll know i have a mild case of heffaphobia? halfaphobia? i don't know. but i do know i have an irrational fear of being touched. well, i wouldn't say it's irrational. i'd like to think it's rational. as rational as can be. either way, do not, under any circumstances enter my little bubble. i freak the fuck out. ask anybody who's anybody.
that's not always the case. if i'm comfortable enough with you or i'm just comfortable that day, i won't mind. with some i'm comfortable around them all the time, with others it's an on and off thing.
another thing about me; i'm always smiling. well, at least eighty percent of the time. if i smiled one hundred percent of the time, my jaw would need some serious work.
now, i'm not saying that i'm a saint or anything, because i can assure you i am most definitely not even remotely close to being a saint. i've been called a bitch far too many times, i've already lost track. i've lied so many times in my life, i couldn't tell you what was the truth if it was standing right in front of me. i've been grounded because of my anger issues and my attitude. i swear far too much for a girl my age, and sometimes my parents are ashamed of me.
but i'm alright with that.
now if you really know me, you'd know i'm also kind of philophobic. i don't know how this has happened, i think it's because of the whole touching thing, i'm so afraid of people getting close to me physically, that my mind has convinced my body that i'm afraid of people getting close emotionally.
that's pretty logical, right?
of course it is. at least, that's what i tell myself.
sure i've had infatuations, but never have i been infatuated enough for a relationship. besides, i'm stressed out enough. i don't need a boyfriend stressing me out too. plus there's the fact that i haven't found the right guy.
no, not "mr. right" because i'm well aware that he won't be coming around like, ever. i'm talking a guy who could handle me and my moodiness. or the fact that i might put myself before anybody else sometimes. that i might be a demanding, nagging, bitch, but he'll stay long enough to see through that and actually like me because he knows my perks.
yeah. that's gonna happen.
oh, yeah. i'm currently in middle school, and basking in my free health care. which is highly appreciated with all the sprains i've gotten. which leads me to the subject of basketball.
basketball is the whole reason why i have this darn sprained ankle. the same ankle i sprained two times before. once in february again, from basketball, and another time about maybe three years ago from soccer. but basketball is def my favourite sport there is. but that doesn't mean i dislike all the other sports, i'm up for something different.
i like sports. don't hate.
my mind's always in the gutter. and i am not just saying that, because it is exactly as it is. the truth. not it's not exactly eighty year old pedophile dirty, just the whole, oh, yeah, i'm gonna laugh because i can take that sexually. which is pretty much most of the time.
i'm conceited, but i don't consider myself pretty. i haven't met one girl yet who is so self-centered they go around telling people how beautiful they are. i've only ever heard all of my girl friends saying they're 'hideous'. which is far from the truth. so, i'm gonna be one of those annoying girls and tell you i am full on hideous. even if you may think it's a lie, i refuse to depart from denial.
i like denial. it's like a secure, little blanket. you know, one that's so soft and warm you can't help but wrap yourself up with it. and it's pure ecstasy because it's yours and no one else's. and with that blanket you don't have to face the truth. you can convince yourself of anything and everything. it's tainted bliss. your tainted bliss.
but in this case, it's mine.
i'm opinionated and almost always brutally honest, if you ask for my opinion i won't hesitate telling you the truth. if i don't like something, i'll straight up tell you i don't like something. but twenty-five percent of the time i hold it in. not for my sake, of course. i just don't wanna be a bitch all the time. it's a life choice.
i may not say what i really think of you, but i will think it. oh, i will. if you're reading this now, thinking what a terrible human being i must be, think about this. even if you haven't exactly told people off or bitched and moaned about someone behind their back, you're judging me right now. and you hardly even know me.
everybody judges on first impressions. sometimes even appearance alone. i do it, i'm not gonna lie about that. so you can't sit there thinking i'm a complete liar, also everybody's lied. even if it's a small, white lie. a lie is a lie, no matter how much you like to think that it's not.
me. i happen to be a compulsive liar. and i've been one for years, it wasn't until this year that i've admit it.
you've heard about my many flaws. and just like my flaws i have many perks. maybe you'll get to see them one day, maybe you won't. only time will tell.
now continue wondering how i sleep at night.
Sincerely, the most legit bitch there is :]
When the lights don't glow the same way that they use to,
And I finally get a moment to myself,
I will realize you were everything I'm missing,
And you tell me you're in love with someone else,
May 31 2010
Time: 11:33AM
Music: none
Mood: neutral
so right now I'm in sitting in science beside Drewba-doo. and i'm super bored. we have free time on the lap tops, but there isn't much to do since everything's blocked.
brooke's being loud as fuck and she will not shut up. gosh.
well, i'm gone, drew's hacked my account.
byee :]
She doesn't ever worry,
If she wants it she'll get it on her own,
She knows there's more to life,
And she's scared of ending up alone.
May 26 2010
Time: 4:30PM
Music: Houstalantavegas - Drake
Mood: Bleck.
SCHOOL'S NEARLY OVER!
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE IN THE PAST SCHOOL YEAR?
HAVE YOU...
[x] skipped class?
[x] liked a Boy/Girl?
[x] fooled around with someone at school? (Unless it's that sort of "fooling around")
[x] kissed someone at school?
[x] hugged someone at school?
[x] started a rumor?
[] gotten a detention?
[x] cried in school?
[x] made new friends?
[x] gone to a dance?
[] been to a pep rally
[x] watched a football game
[x] watched a soccer game
[] watched a baseball game
[x] watched a volleyball game
[] watched a tennis match
[x] watched a basketball game
[] watched a track meet
[] watched a wrestling match
[] watched a lacrosse game
[] fought with a teacher?
[x] got a 100% on a test?
[x] walked to school
[] drove to school
[x] got dropped off at school
[x] heard a rumor about yourself?
[x] missed school when you weren't sick?
[] failed a test
[x] made up some lame excuse for homework not being done?
[x] the teacher believed your lame excuse?
[x] you like a teacher you have?
[] crushed on a teacher?
[] hit on a teacher?
[x] hate a teacher?
[] on student council?
[] in a club
[x] got an award?
[x] fallen asleep in school
[x] gotten in trouble for falling asleep in class
[x] had your phone go off in class
[x] had your phone taken away?
[x] lied to a teacher?
[x] laughed so hard you cried in class
[] eaten lunch in the bathroom?
[] like your yearbook picture?
[x] missed more than a week at once of school
[x] enjoyed school?
[x] excited for summer?
[] taking summer school?
[] have a summer job?
1.THE PERSON WHO SITS TO YOUR LEFT IN SCIENCE
- What is their name? Becca or Drew
- Are you friends with this person? We're tight like a fat guy in spandex. And Drew has rolls :)
- Do you talk in this class? Oh yes.
- Have you ever been to their house? Who? Mhm.
- Is this person your worst enemy? Only sometimes.
2. THE PERSON WHO SITS TO THE RIGHT OF YOU IN MATH
- What is their name? Well, it's supposed to be Leah, but Becca took her spot.
- Are they smart?
Well, I do copy off her when she isn't looking. But only sometimes. So, I guess.
- Have you ever had a crush on them? Yuck. No. No offense Becca. I love you, but you're a girl.
3. THE PERSON WHO YOU TALK TO MOST IN ENGLISH
- What is his/her name? Bourke, Skylar, or Melysa. And sometimes Ryan and Brooke.
- Is this person your best friend? Mel and Bourkeasaur are my best friends.
- Do they play a sport? Yepp.
- If so, what sport? Mel plays baseball and Bourke plays hockey.
4. ONE PERSON WHO SITS BY YOU AT LUNCH
- What is their name? When I used to stay for lunch, it'd be Erin or Madison. But when I go to Subway, I normally sit beside Nevada, or Alexis when she comes, and rarely Drew.
- Can you talk to them about just anything? Drew, yeah. Nevada, kind of, and Alexis, kind of.
- Are they your best friends? Sure.
2009-2010
IN THE BEGINNING
Who were your best friends? Erin, Madison, Becca, Drew, Brenden, Kole.
One thing you wanted most? Tanner.
Your hair color? Brown, black.
Favorite class? Art.
Favorite teacher? Ms. C was and is the best.
AND NOW
Who are your best friends? Drew, Madison, Becca, Erin, Kole, Nevada, Brenden, etc.
Did you make any new friends? Yepp.
Lose any friends? Yepp.
Experience any tragedy? Kind of.
Enemies? Oh yes.
Play any sports? School basketball, and now community basketball.
One thing you want most? For people to fuck off, can't say who, it's a secret.
Have your priorities changed? Sorta
How many times have you dyed your hair since school began? Never.
Favorite class? Art.
Favorite Teacher? Ms. S. or Ms. C
Any serious regrets? Most def. So many, I've lost count.
Break down,
You've always been so proud,
And just look at you now,
You're a bad smell in this room.
"I don't wanna, I don't wanna be bad news.
I don't wanna, I don't wanna be bad news."
But you are,
But you are.
I would walk through hell,
With a smile on my face,
Just so I could make my mark,
On the hottest place.
You're the best kept secret,
Rolling off my tongue,
Some say you're as easy as they come,
And I say,
What a way for the ice to break.
May 19 2010
Time: 3:53 PM
Music: Nasty Habits - You Me At Six
Mood: Better
So, wow.
Some of my friends are just way too shallow. And vain. And self-centered. And I am so tired of it. Like, really, really tired of it. Genuinely tired of it.
Not that I'm not any of those things, I am. But like, these two are just so self-centered that they hardly decipher if something is wrong with another person, even if that person spells it out for you. In BIG BOLD letters.
It's just straight up pathetic. And it's absolutely disgusting the way they can't just take notice of anybody else. It has to be about them. Whatever the issue, they'll ignore it then jump straight to another subject just to get some attention.
But then, when you're alone with them, they'll completely change. They're a different person. Like, you're not good enough to be seen in public with, but you're good enough to be alone with, then it's cool, right?
No. No it's not cool. You're a douche, go fuck yourself :]
One thing ’bout music, when it hits you feel no pain,
And I swear I got that shit that make these bitches go insane,
So they tell me that they love me,
I know better than that,
It’s just game
It’s just what comes with the fame,
And I’m ready for that,
I’m just sayin’.
May 16 2010
Time: 1:56PM
Music: Over - Drake
So, what's been happening in my life?
Well, yesterday was probably one of the best days I've had this year. I swear, I love my friends.
This is what happened,
It was gorgeous yesterday, so I call up Drew, and I'm like, "Wanna hang?" and she's all like, "Blah, blah, blah, sure."
So after we meet up at a near-by park, we go back to my house. So we're watching TV and talking, then she's all like, "Let's go for slurpees."
So we go, and we're walking down this street that ends at McDicks, which is right across from Nevada's, so we call her up, and we ask her to hang with us. So she says yes, and we meet up with her.
Then we walk over to Shell, and then once we get our huge ass slurpees, Drew's like, "Let's go to ******** Park." So me and Nevada agree and we start walking.
It took us like an hour to walk there from Shell, but it was so worth it.
We had so many WTF moments on the way there. First, when I was going to meet Drew, these guys pull up by the curb while I'm walking and they start like, saying stuff, but I'm all like, WTF?
And then while I was walking with Drew and Nevada we saw so many shirtless guys, and one was wearing his shirt as a hat while riding some old style bike. And then some guys stop right beside us and make a farting noise with a balloon and slowly drive off, still making that noise.
And then once we get to this ice cream store across from the park we see this guy with a bush of chest hair and then we get into this conversation about my bush of chest hair, which I comb and moisturize everyday.
Then we see this topless woman, and she just stares as I talk about my riveting chest hair. And Drew almost falls over, she's laughing that hard.
So we call up Becca, and she comes hangs with us too. Then we just sit in the shade for a bit and just talk, and then we call up Connor and ask him about his chest hair, and he's all confused. Then we go to the park and just hang there, then we call Connor and ask him to hang with us, but he couldn't at the moment, so we go to Linwood.
Becca kills some ant, we talk about bitches and how Megan's a creep. And Nevada, she's just a funny bunny.
Then we head over to my house, we curl Nevada's hair, then Becca's. I just straighten mine, then we hang there for a bit texting Connor.
Then we decide to have a bonfire in my backyard, so we go to Mac's and Dollarama and buy marshmallows, chips, and wieners, then I waved at like 15 people in that one day alone.
Then we head back to my house, meet up with Connor, we hang in my basement for a bit, we head to Strath hang for a bit there, then we head back to my house, and start on the bonfire.
Except we didn't actually get the fire started until like 10:30 and we started at like 9:00, then Katie, whom I haven't seen for three years came with Megan and we had like a mini bonfire with them.
After setting my grass on fire, almost setting Katie's shoe on fire, etc, etc, we got the first going, and we roasted marshmallows while I had seriously needed catch-up time with Katie.
She's so different, yet not. She gets into all kinds of shit now, but she's still bubbly and superrr chatty. When she comes back next year, we're so going to hang.
Overall, it was a good, fun Saturday. Minus the whole grass on fire thing.
Board Games &&Balloons.
Love you,
Jess :)
P.S
I forgot to mention the hot dog guy. we were walking through the park and there was this guy who was about like three years older then us but he was sitting on the grass alone eating a hot dog, so i waved and he just smiling uncomfortably and he waved back.
it was a very good day. :]
Dear Journal
London, England
April 1834
Dear Journal, April 2nd, 1834
It’s been a whole human year since it’s happened. Why does it feel so much longer? Why does the pain still linger? I never really loved her, so why does it hurt so much?
I cannot say if I will ever forgive myself for such a deed. But there is no turning back from this point. I must learn to cope; I must learn to live.
Winnipeg, Manitoba
June 2010
Dear Journal, June 30th, 2010
How long has it been now? Decades? Centuries? I’ve lost track of time; there seems to be no room for time nowadays.
I now live in a small city, someplace located in London.
Or was it Canada? Or maybe it was Europe? It seems there’s no room for maps either.
These people are so peculiar, so weird as they would call it. Men and women are being slaughtered everywhere I look; children are being taken right off the streets or even from their homes.
Mothers are abandoning their babies almost everyday. People talk of “pranking” people left and right. They insult each other all the time. They’re all so obnoxious, ignorant even.
This place is nothing like Draken.
July 2010
“Are you sure you want to leave for London?” my mother asked from my doorway. I was currently packing all my things for my flight that was leaving in about three more hours.
“Mom, I told you, I’ll be meeting dad at the airport, I’ll go to his house and I’ll be back after college. There’s nothing to worry about, dad’ll take care of me and everything will be fine,” I told her, trying to calm her nerves.
“I’m just worried, is all,” my mom told me.
“I know, mom. But I’m a big girl now, with big girl needs. I’ll visit every holiday and make sure to bring gifts. I’ll call, and e-mail, and all that good stuff,” I assured her.
“Just take care of yourself, alright? I don’t want to hear anything in the news about a Victoria Sinclair being murdered or burning the whole college campus down,” she said in a stern voice.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said, zipping up my large suitcase, then starting to pack my carry on.
London, England
I adjusted my carry on bag, and pulled the rest of my luggage along behind me. I scanned the large crowd of people looking for my dark haired father.
I looked at all the signs people held in their hands and noticed my name printed neatly on a large white piece of paper. I walked over to the man in the dark suit, and he led me to an old looking black car.
“Your father sends his apologies for not being able to be here to meet you, but he sent me to escort you to his home,” he told me, his English accent very thick.
“Oh, that’s fine. I’ll just see him when we get there.” I replied with a shrug.
“Of course. Now, let’s not dawdle, your father’s expecting you home soon,” he told me while ushering me to the car. I followed him quietly, helping him put all of my luggage into the trunk of the car, then getting into the backseat with my with my big enough bag.
As we drove, the car ride was silent minus the sounds o my soft breathing.
“So, is this your first time visiting London?” The sound of his voice startled me. I wasn’t sure if my hearing was just off, but his voice sounded almost deeper then it did a few minutes ago.
“Uh, yeah. My dad enrolled me in the college he founded,” I told him.
“Oh? Which one?” he asked, sounding intrigued.
“I’m not sure yet. He told me on the phone he was going to tell me when I met him at the airport. He said he wanted it to be a surprise,” I replied politely.
“I see,” he said quietly.
The rest of the ride continued in silence. I watched as the trees, buildings, landscapes, and cars pass us by. It really was fascinating.
After about an hour, we pulled up to a very large home. The house was gorgeous, yes, but it had some sort of eerie, dark glow to it.
“This is my father’s house?” I asked, my gut telling me I should turn back and run. But it seemed he ignored my question and continued unpacking my things.
Suddenly, a large hand holding a cloth cut off the rest of my sentence and I began to panic. My cries for help were muffled and soon I felt drowsy. My vision was starting to blur and my eyelids started to get heavier and heavier.
Soon, there was nothing but black.
-
“You, by far, are the most stupid, insufferable man I have ever met and I am ashamed to call you my brother,” my sister said. She sounded much more calm hen she actually was, that I knew for certain. “You just, kidnapped a girl! Do you feel no guilt? No remorse?”
“The girl is fine, but she’s in great danger. I can feel it,” I explained to her.
“Oh, that’s an excuse,” she replied, seething.
“Look, I realize you’re incredibly ticked off, but there’s nothing we can do about it now,” I said.
“What do mean there’s nothing we can do about it now? You’re going to return that girl to her home, where she belongs!” she commanded.
“I’m afraid it’s not that easy,” I said, slowly.
“Oh, Aiden. You better not have,” she warned.
“Unfortunately, I did. We’re already in Draken.”
-
I sat up, groggy. I turned my neck from side to side slowly, taking in all m y surroundings. The large maroon curtains were pulled shut to keep the light from streaming in through the window. The walls were pained with a dark colour that I couldn’t make out in the dark room and I was sitting on a large, comfortable bed.
I ran my fingers through my tangled hair and smoothed it down. It took me a whole minute to remember everything that had happened to me only a while ago. That man that was supposedly going to take me to my father had kidnapped me! In broad daylight, too!
I quickly scrambled out of the bed and checked to see if I was harmed in anyway – or worse – violated. Surely the man couldn’t have been that cruel, but then again, he did kidnap me, after all. I pulled open the large curtains and noticed it was still dark out.
I walked out silently and looked over the railing. It seemed I was standing at least 15 ft in the air on some fancy balcony. I walked back into the room with a silent curse. There must be some other way to get out of this place.
I heard a soft knock on the door and I panicked. My mind was on overload, there was only that one balcony and if I dared to jump from it, I’d definitely break my back. So that was out of the question.
I jumped back into the bed, smoothed the covers over my body and shut my eyes, trying to pretend I was asleep. The door opened slowly and I held my breath. Soft footsteps met the hardwood floor and I carefully tried to shallow my breathing.
I cracked open one of my eyes only slightly but was shocked to see somebody who hardly resembled the man I thought to be my kidnapper.
This man must’ve been at least a whole decade and a half younger then the driver. This man had dark dishevelled hair that went straight down to his shoulders. When he turned my eye snapped shut and I continued to pretend I was asleep.
“I know you’re awake.” How did he find out? I was pretty convincing.
My eyes opened slightly, cautiously. I braced myself for something, anything. Maybe he was going to knock me unconscious again.
“I’m not about to hurt you, you have my word,” he said.
“Why should I trust you?” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. But it was a good point; you have to admit.
“Victoria-“
“And how in heavens do you know my name? How did you know I was going to London? How did you know where to meet me? My God, you’re some sort of stalker! A creep! How long have you been following me?”
“I’m not a stalker or a creep. I’ve never followed you until today. But I have reason,” he told me, his voice calm but his posture rigid.
“Oh? Please do explain. Not as if I have much else to do.”
“First you must know I mean no harm, whatsoever. I’m here simply to protect you.” I interrupted him with a short but audible scoff. “My name is Aiden and I’m a shape shifter. There’s a man hunting you as we speak, and he won’t stop until you’re completely out of the way.”
“So, you mean d-dead?” I stuttered, “But there must be some sort of mistake. I’m hardly anybody, why would he want to,” I paused to lower my voice, “kill me?”
“Everything will be answered in due time, and it will all make sense, but for now you must trust me,” he told me.
“How can I trust you? I don’t even know you. Hold on, if you really are a shape shifter then you must have been the man who kidnapped me! You’re a criminal! And you want me to trust you? What about my mother, my father, my friends? They’ll be worried,” I all but yelled at him.
“I understand how you feel, and if I could have done this a different way, you must believe me when I say I would have. But what’s done is done, there’s no turning back now. And had you stayed with your family, he and his workers would have slaughtered them, I’m doing this for your safety and theirs.”
“So what do you propose we do? How do we stop him?” I asked.
“There’s only one weapon that can stop him. It’s called the Sword of Cavarie,” he explained.
“Okay, well, let’s go then. Let’s get the sword and end this,” I said.
“I’m afraid it’s not going to be that easy,” he said, looking slightly sheepish. If there was ever a time to be attracted to sheepishness, it wasn’t now. But I couldn’t help myself, I swear.
