Answer: Me.
Wow, today SUCKED. I mean, you guys have read the posts earlier than this and THOSE days sucked, but today... Today... I'm broken.
First off, it was alright. I got up at 7, showered, ate breakfast, and went to work. Good GAWD, with any luck today was the last day at McDonald's. I really do hope so. I did too much work today, even my boss said so.
They had me clean the drink-tower (Like, those self-serve drink stations?) but, even with the ladder, I was somehow still too short to reach the top... so Angelo was able to handle that... *sulks*.
Then, there was dishes... lots and lots of dishes.
That's where it starts to get frustrating. People there don't work if they don't have to. During dead times, everyone coagulates into their little groups to goof off. Nothing else gets done. So, I thought I'd do the lobby- except, every few minutes, someone would come through the drive-thru and I'd have to drop the broom and dustpan to race ACROSS the store to the drive-thru window, then take the money and go alllll the way back to finish cleaning. It was back and forth like that for a bit.
Then, I went back to dishes and brought some trays up to line and one of the other guys (who wasn't doing much of anything... he cooks meat, it was dead time, and he wasn't doing a damn thing) comes up and asks me to take out the trash.
First, I look to the lobby, which still needs mopping, then the floor behind the counter that was smeared with fry grease and crumbs (no one had gotten to it yet, it was to be my next task), then to the over-flowing trash can full of HIS garbage from making HIS meat... y'know, like greasy paper slips and old grease that was cleaned off the grill, and even meat that had sat out too long... Then, I took a deep sigh, put on an incredibly sarcastic grin and said, "HEY, LOOK! You have two legs and heartbeat! YOU DO IT!" and went back to cleaning.
I still had to be the one to take the trash out.
In the rain.
With wind and thunder.
I'm not kidding, either, I'm not looking for sympathy, it's all true. A thunderstorm rolled through here this afternoon and DRENCHED us. *sigh*
But, I didn't make any mistakes today! :D Isn't that great?
No, no it's not... karma has it's way of getting to you.
Later this evening, I got home and my mother was PISSED. And, it wasn't "I'm-not-talking-to-you" pissed, or the "yell-like-a-howling-monkey-with-a-kidney-stone" pissed either.
She was genuinely, outright, bawling and red faced pissed.
My dad is gone for Reserves stuff and my sister escaped to my grandparents house 'til Wednesday. So, I'm alone and taking the brunt force of it all, and I didn't really do anything wrong, as far as I can see.
She scared me, she really did.
I came out of my room to piddle and she stopped me in the hall and started saying things like, "Don't be surprised if I don't come home after work tomorrow!" and, "I'm hurt by my work, my family, your dad, your sister, and you!" and all this stuff.
That's when a little red flag went up in my brain: Signs of Suicide
I was J.W.F.
Jolly Well Fuck'd.
The things she said really got to me, they scared me and made me feel guilty and ashamed. And, I don't even know what I did wrong! Then, she began to cry, then I began to cry.
I really did, too. I sat in the bathroom and cried and cried. Then, I moved to my bedroom and cried for at least a half hour... I felt so guilty.
About 8:30, my cell rang and it was Angelo.
Yeah, that's right, he caught me crying.
I'm not kidding either, this is no soap opera or drama tv. This all really happened!
We sat and talked for a little while. I cried some more. He offered to come up, but I told him no, my mother didn't seem right. Then, my mom called for me again and I told him I'd call him back.
She apologized.
She hadn't meant anything she said. Everything had just been pent up for so long, her dam just broke. She was sorry it was ME she had to flip out on. So, we talked about it and I found out most of the problem is my dad. Some of it is my sister and myself, but the majority of her issues is my father. I won't go into detail, it's too personal.
But, she assured me she wasn't thinking of killing herself and told me things would be okay. I'm taking her word.
We're okay now.
I don't know if my mom and dad are, though...*worried*
But, I trust Fate and Karma to do what it must. I'll do what I can, but ultimately, I know I can't make things go my way.
*sigh* Tomorrow should be better. I have my interview! I hope I get the job! My mom even said that if it's good enough, I can just skip college. I don't need it and it seems that she's finally seeing it from my point of view. I want to be a manga-artist and she seems to see the potential in me that I've yet to find. It's inspiring and reassuring.
And, if that doesn't work out, there's a lot of places around that need people like me, regardless of college degrees.
Well, that was my day.
I hope your guys' weekend was better than mine. This is the worst I've felt in a LONG time... perhaps ever.
Thanks for reading. You've all been so kind to me since as long as I can remember. And, I have you to thank. ^_^ Your kind and encouraging words are what help me get through everything. Thank you.
~YOSEI~
PS:
I have little bruise spots on my eyes from crying so hard and rubbing them so feverishly with a towel... I look like my eyes are surrounded with purple freckles.
