How Naruto Really Ended and Why it Ended This Way (Even I Can't Believe It)

(i wrote this when the last chapter came out obvi)

Okay everyone, I've been wanting to tell you all the true story of how Naruto ended. I've decided now that I will tell you... I've been waiting this long only because I've seen how fans react to new information (FAKE!!!!!!1111!!!!! POSER!!! NAME 5 ALBUMS!!!!!!) and since Naruto's ending is still in the clouds with speculation, I've decided now is the time to tell the world the TRUE ending of Naruto... here goes:

(Notes before we start: If it's "TL;DR" for you, just skip to the bullet points. I know how much I like to write!)

To start, I've been in the Naruto industry for... about 40 years. I've seen the drafts, the outtakes, the bloopers, everything. I know what Masashi Kishimoto wanted... I knew his plan and shared his vision. About 3 years ago, when most of you weeaboos were around 12 or so years of age, Kishimoto was going to confirm the plans of turning Naruto into a y*oi. What's a y*oi? Urban dictionary it.
Anyway, this was because many of you young fans were weebs that wanted all the y*oi goodness that came with the Naruto series (i mean... of COURSE Kakashi and Akamaru belonged together with the way they looked into each other's eyes. They were such a cute couple

Fast forward three years and Naruto is coming to a quick close. Now's the good part.

How many times has your little mind thought, "Wow, Naruto and Sasuke make a good couple"? Exactomungus! So, because you OBVIOUSLY answered between "never" and "maybe once or twice," this is why (spoiler alert) Sasuke turned good. This is why Sasuke did a complete 180 and decided that he was going to be Hokage of his own villiage or something. That raises the situation for NaruSasu (or SasuNaru) to become canon. What's canon mean in this context? Urban dictionary it.

Naruto obviously has strong feelings and a certain strong attraction towards Sasuke Uchiha, as does Sasukle with naruto. Here's the REAL good part:

Kishimoto just let Naruto (SPOLER ALERGTU!!!!11111!!!) Marry and have a kid with Hinata (Bolt/Boruto). Sasuke, oh, Sasuke, got married and had a kid with Sakura (their offspring/livestock is Salad/Saruda (what a crack pairing)). While I like SasuSaku to an extent, Sasuke is totally not the right match for her. LIke... I;d rather Sakuira end up with Naruto, like Kishimto promised, and Hinatta End up with KIba if he weren't (spoiler) died, but i digrtess.

Neji died.

We are all aware of Kishimnoto making one last final movie of Naruto, which I belkieve to be an epilogue (Idk, Kishi-chan texted me one night telling me about it but then i forgot to text back so idk :x it was really late :X).

What is to be believed in that epilogue is true, but also untrue. You understand how in Tokyo Ghoul, the anime, Season 2 is going to be like an "alternate ending" of the sorts? That's what Kishimioto is doing. Narutpo The Last Movei will have a DoubleEpilogue, only available to Premium Memebers. I am willing to share this X-Rated infortamtion with you all this evening. In this epologue, all of your dreams come true.

Here's a quick overview of what happens because I have been doing this for about an hour and I know you're all dying to know:

  • Neji is brought back to life
  • Sasuke sees Neji and loses all hatred for him (considering he kinda hated every1); that hatred turns to unconditional, non-platonic love
  • Sasuke and Neji have a child: Sarada (Salad)
  • Naruto still has a kid with Hinata: Boruto (Bolt)
  • Salad and Bolt don't have an ugly rivalry (naruto and sasuke hetero-style), in fact they r just play mates and have no desire 2 hate each other or what-the-hell-ever
  • in truth, Hinata leaves Naruto for Sakura because she found out Naruto had been seeing Sasuke
  • To explain Sasuke, he re-killed Neji out of love and that was the end of that. he still denies that Salad is Neji's tho we all see it in the face
  • Sasuke and Naruto are now together, raising Salad and Bolt (Narutop gets him on weekends and every other holiday)
  • Sakura and Hinata are happily living together in Sakura's deceased mom's shop
  • Ino is friends with Sakura and HInata
  • Chouji, Shikamaru and Kankuro live together as bachelors
  • Kiba (swoon) lives with his boyfriend, Sai (yes, that Sai. The painter scroll book thing Sai. the extremely GAY Sai)
  • Gaara hangs out with Naruto and co. it's really heartwarming. he's good now. he chills w Rock Lee & Tenten (Lee gf) on a regular
  • Neji was reborn later in a permanent, human body because of advanced medical sciences that Sakur a helped perfomr
  • Sakura got mad head that night from hinata
  • Neji lives with Hinata and her soon-to-be wife
  • OH YEAH, Kakashi is rooomies with Iruka. He brought along all of his pet dogs, initially to Iruka's chagrin
  • Iruka warmed up to the dogs
  • there are a lot of dogs and they are smart mouthed
  • Spoiler ahead
  • Everyone else that was a "main" died. im pretty sure most of them are dead. Like 4real. Jiraya is dead.
  • that's all i remember

So now you all know the truth. After 40 years, thank you for sticking with us through this journey.

Disclaimers: I haven't caught up to Naruto, and frankly, I'm tired of hearing spoilers. I already know what REALLY happens (roughly) and while I'm not livid about it, I'm not exactly rainbows about it either :/. In the long run, I don't mind, I guess, but Naruto really is interesting to me, even though it's kinda rough around the edges xD. ANYWAY, the point is, i didn't read the finale, but I know some of my detailz are correct. Which ones? You decide MUHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH.
Also, another note to mention: Though it wasn't rlly all that bad... Masahi Kishimoto really did play everyone dirty with that ending. Even I could see that. AND ANOTHER THING!!!
Thnx for reading :3
Believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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naruto telling u to believe it in meme formnaruto telling u to believe it in meme form