So have I ever told you how hard and confusing it is for kids raised in America to have parents raised in a different culture? It's like, you deal with things from their culture mixed in with the things from the culture here.
I try to be one of those people who like to incorporate the best of both worlds, you know, approach from an understanding and see if there's a way to meet halfway.
If you love someone, doesn't it make sense that you would want to see them, even if they live far away? So I told my boyfriend that I was going to be in the area where he lives for a symphony, and he said that it would be awesome if I could stay because on Sunday the newest member of the family (he has a new niece) is getting Baptized and then after is a family reunion picnic and then Monday he would take me down. Then I was like "I don't want you to drive all the way to where I live just to drop me off and go back up. (long distance, 4-5 hours) What if you stayed the night? And maybe we can ask my friend if you could just come and support her for her big career-breaker test she has to take haha" and then he said that it would work for him if that happened. So I agreed that I would talk to my parents about it. It makes sense anyways because I graduated, so who knows the next time I'll be able to see him again once he starts working again and who knows if I'll be able to visit him. I want to be able to visit him, you know? And I thought this would be nice because they don't even have to worry about me driving since I would be going up with my siblings, and then he is willing to take me down all the way back to where I live, regardless if he's staying overnight or not. I don't even have to worry about people's schedules so someone can come to even meet halfway to get me.
They say that I don't understand because I'm not a parent, but at the same time, even if it were my sister dating someone that she met in college, I would want him to come down so I could meet him and get to know him so I can judge accordingly and get to see him for myself. You'd think that after dating for almost three years and seeing how he is the family would let her go up and see him. Doesn't that just make sense? I can't even go up and visit my boyfriend even if it's literally going to be me spending time with him AND HIS FAMILY.
It tells me that after all this time they can't trust me or my decisions. It tells me that they can't trust him. Then I told Mom that and she was like "well look around in the culture here, there are so many unwed mothers" and I'm literally like "oh so you think that I'm a whore who just goes and sleeps around? Is that what you think when I'm in college? My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost three years and I have stayed with him and his family at his family's house. (I wanted to include: and look at me, I'm not pregnant! But I decided to hold my tongue.) She said that it's more of a reputation thing and not a whore thing, but even so, a reputation isn't everything. Oh yeah, I'm such a terrible person for wanting to spend time with my boyfriend and his family. Wow, I guess that apparently makes me a whore.
I mean yeah, reputation is important, but it isn't everything. Go ahead and call me a whore and let everyone think that I've been sleeping around. I know that it isn't true. My own parents can't even trust me or even support me in my decisions. They can't even trust me after I've lived 4 school years away from them. We visit and talk about our relationship and all of this stuff because we want them to know how great the other person is. We want them to know that we love them so much and we love each other so much so that they can see what we're all about and what we're like. Sure, I can have the cleanest reputation in the world, but I wouldn't have experienced the world because of how scared I was of it and how it would ruin my reputation.
I love my parents but the strictness is stupid. I don't go out and get wasted. I don't go out and sleep around. I don't do drugs or get high. They know all my friends or at least have heard of them. And yet despite all of this, I can't do much and I'm already 22.
Rant over.
