I usually check both my blogs when I wake up in the morning, partly because there's nothing else to do, and I need to remain occupied while I'm eating whatever it is I managed to grab for breakfast. I'll check my good ol' theO blog first, partly because at least one person I subscribe to has usually posted a well-written and interesting piece (and even though I'm kind of a jerk and don't comment sometimes, I DO read them!). I smile, stare at my monitor contently, and give the screen a nod of approval. Well-done, computer.
Then, I log on to another site. MySpace. My... *shudder*... OTHER blog.
Truly, the OTHER blog is the bastard spawn I never wanted, a pit of decaying intelligence and sickening decadence with which pollutes one's very soul. I have several friends who blog on MySpace. They convinced me to give it a try. "Hey, man, we're all on it! We want to see you online, too!" I thought "Hey, what the Hell? Might as well." So, I created a profile, and a name, "The Gentleman Tyrant". I figured that the others would have clever names as well. They didn't. Their screen names where crude bastardizations of their real-life names, or their names grafted with various adjectives, including "Pimpin" (note the lack of an apostrophe), "Sexie" (the misspelling makes it all the more cute), and various curse words and dollar signs where curse words and dollar signs shouldn't be.
It gets better. The actual BLOG portion is NEVER USED. Maybe this is because these people live such mundane lives, they feel the need no need to post any bits of info about them, for fear of the audience losing interest or falling asleep. Or maybe it's because these people CAN'T SPELL. Jesus, it's sad when you see shit like "HeLLz YeA!!1 GoNnA GO oUt To-NiTE LOL LuVYAByE!!!1" on a friend's profile when you know that friend took more time and energy just hitting the shift button repeatedly to achieve the "MiXeD CaPiTaLs" look, when simply typing "Yeah, I'm going out tonight!" would have taken much less work and made said person look more intelligent by comparison.
I guess what I really hate about the OTHER blog is it makes me look at my real-life friends in a totally different way, and not usually a good way. For example, you know a guy who's totally down to Earth, easy going, and just an all-around good joe. Then, you log on to his MySpace profile. Immediately, you are blasted with a wallpaper with nothing but Benjamins on a black screen, making all the text on screen unreadable unless you highlight it, a computer-generated image of a woman with said-friends name tattooed on her ass shaking what her mama gave her, and under "General Interests",text that reads "BITCHES, FUCKIN, MONEY, HEAD LOL", all the while some rapper you've never heard of blasts a shitty track so loud you instinctively turn the volume all the way down and hit "Back". You don't look at that guy the same after that.
If you're ever on MySpace, look up "The Gentleman Tyrant". I could use a friend who can read and write like a human being.
-Flint
