Right now my sister is downstairs singing the Phinease and Ferb (sorry can't spell) themesong. Such an innocent act. A few days ago she came up to me and said "I read something you wrote in your agenda. The things you like and don't like about yourself and it made me cry." And all I could think was why did it make you cry? You see my sister has a habit of looking out for me, instead of the other way around. She knows I have problems with my mom and knows i'm actually terrified of her. She knows I'm not good at standing up for myself, but my sister is so much better than me. She is always trying to find a way to stand up to my mom for me. When I wanted to dye my hair she told my mom for me and said she herself wanted to dye her hair purple and I ended up getting it done. Whenever I tell my sister something she always remembers and I never except her to. When she told me she read that I forgot until today, when she brought down my agenda, opened it to that page and said "Mummy read this!" I yelled and grabbed it out of her hands and we physically fought over it, laughing the whole time until I won and hide it. I know she was just trying to do what I couldn't, just trying to show my mom that I'm hurting and want someone to care. But I don't want my mom thinking I need a therapist...I don't want a therapist I want to be left alone to my own thoughts. There's nothing wrong with therapists but they will tell my mom everything I say to them and therefor they become my enemy because my thoughts are mine and I don't need my mom to think i'm weirder than I am. I love my sister, I wouldn't want her any other way. I just wish I didn't have to feel like I had to hide things from her so I could keep it away from my parents.
HAHA wow that's depressing... I guess I haven't been too overly happy lately but on the bright side there's vlog I watch which has been going on for over a year now and I have finally finished every single one up to date. So happy! The vlog is like a defuser for me, just a bunch of adults literally making a living off of youtube and they're doing pretty well, if I say so myself.
Another not so bright side is that school is not treating me well. See I'm in the "pre-IB" program. IB stands for International Baculorite or something, it's basically a more intense program for school and I decide to take this course thingy. This semester I have grade 10 math right? Well I have advance math 12 next semester. I am not strong in math...this is not good at all we had a math quiz and I only finished 4 questions on the test. (there was only 6 questions) Still english, art and science aren't bad I love my english teacher Mr.Charles is freaking awesome the dude makes everything sound much more interesting. Art teach is awesome too. If I live through math this year I might stay with the IB program I kinda want to.
Anyways...
PD out!
