I want to take this chance and apologize for my random absence on this site. I just feel like I have lost the strong "bond" I once had with theO. You guys remember how i was don't you?Eager, posting pics almost everyday. I miss that drive I had to share my art with you all. I just feel like my inspiration has been drained out of me and sucked into a black hole! Dramatic? yes, necessary? I think not! I've tried so hard to work on art, make something worth it,but, it just hasn't shown up yet. I feel like I've been waiting for that lightbulb to flash in my head. I have the switch to turn it on, but no matter how fast I run towards that switch, I feel as if Im getting farther away from it opposed to getting closer. It sucks cause you guys are all so god damn awesome and have treated me with such kindness and what have I given you lately? DIDDLY SQUAT!! thats what.
It sucks cause I got into this AMAZING art high school, I was one of the lucky ones to receive such a great opportunity. Im worried that I wont get back up on my feet when I most need it. I guess Im missing the need to want to be better. That frustrating nagging inside of me that says "Bitch you better go get it!!" lol,silly I know, but its what pushes me. I've drawn some sketches here and there but nothing...nothing blows me away. I don't get those amazing feeling anymore when I draw. The ones that make me feel like Im doing something worth showing, something that will make people see things the way I do, different.
So yeah, feel free to hate me or unsubscribe, honestly those 100 something subs that I have don't mean shit to me, only the ones that have supported me and such. I cant name them all but Im sure you guys know who you are. I want to start fresh maybe make a new account. I just need to jump out from this filthy sea of dull nothingness and breathe in all the wonderful things around me.
I would also like to take this chance and thank those of you who sent me gifts yesterday and wished me a happy birthday. I am soo grateful for the fact that you guys even took the time to do so. I bet I've missed a lot of bdays, and I apologize for that. I really need to find my center.
THanks for taking time to read this and understand my position
I love you all to bits
~Eileen
PS Sadly wont see much work from me since i got an Apple desktop which obviously doesn't work with my dell printer -__- so no scanning for me!!
