Sorry about falling asleep on the keyboard yesterday. Today will be different, I promise.
So tomorrow is Saint Patrick's Day. People often ask me if I celebrate St. Patrick because of disputes Ireland and I have had in the past, but the answer is simple.
Of course I bloody celebrate St. Patrick!
I have to! America drags me over to his house every year and gets me so blooming drunk I can't see straight! He tends to overdo things for St. Patrick, such as serving his people green beer, claiming to be Irish (even though he most CERTAINLY is not!), and even searching for leprechauns! I tease him about not believing in such things, but then he either ignores me, tells me to shut up (which I scold him for), or hands me another green beer.
It's not really that I WANT to celebrate St. Patrick, I just tend to because of America. After all, who wants a drunk "hero" running amuck? Most definitely not me. Therefore, I have to go over to at least supervise him. Then I end up drunk, and it doesn't matter anymore.
So to all you hooligans out there, don't do anything you'll regret on the morrow. I won't if you all don't.
-Arthur
