Hiya folks!
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My clay Coffee cakes, atc card, and Blog post!
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GAH, why in the world is it so hot. It’s been hot all weekend and I hate it. Today was really sucky because of the humidity. I and humidity had massive beef since I knew what it was. It can be as hot as it wants but when humidity is in the mix I’m pretty much down. I hate doing anything in this kind of weather but lying down and drinking something cold. Which is weird because right now I want some coffee… :| So how is everyone’s weather?
I haven’t been commenting a lot the pass weekend too. It’s been so hot that I simply don’t feel like it much. I haven’t been commenting on the front page pictures either. Most of them I really didn’t care for but even the few I did like I didn’t comment on. I’ve probably make up for lost time tomorrow morning.
I’ve been concerned about my drawing lately. Basically trying to do new things and pushing myself further in my art. Like better coloring, composition, poses, angles, and etc. I just feel like I’m not trying as hard as I should. I know that pushing myself all the time really kills my creativity in the long run since I can get stressed out. At the same time I need to take at least an hour or so out of my day for pure practice. Not trying to create the perfect picture but simply playing around and experimenting. I know that really brings out the best in me and makes me feel good about my skills. When I’m not drawing I usually pay attention to what’s around me. Like how lighting, shadowing, perspective, and how human anatomy works. Whenever I have the chance I would challenge myself and examine my target and see WHY the shadowing is the way it is, or why does it look like it does in a certain perspective. It helps too when I reinforce it with some practice doodles.
On another artist note I’m going to enter the anime fest mascot contest. I wanted to enter last year but I was in school and I wasn’t up for it at all. But this year it’s going to be completely different. I want to enter the contest with something dynamitic, cool, and just plain awesome. I want to pull out all the stops and pour every creative juice out of my body for it. Even though I’m really pumped for it, I honesty don’t know what my chances are with winning this contest is. I only know two previous entries that won. One was a cute chibi hold one of New York’s famous buildings. The picture itself wasn’t great at all to me, it was really plain but cute. The other entry was saiyukiluver’s and it was WAY better then the last entry that won. Hell, I looked at the other entries and it was one of the best in last years contest. At the same time it has me a bit (or a lot).
I don’t know what they are looking for. Do they want something different, crazy, or sorta generic, I don’t know. I wish I had some idea of what it is. I do have a few ideas of pictures that I like but that alone is not that reassuring. Something else that’s really eating at me is my style compared to other artists. I love my style but let’s face it, it doesn’t sell itself. It doesn’t have that generic mass appeal affect. I can work on a picture for days and get an average of 10 hugs (or a bit more depending on other factors) compared to another artist that can make a 10 minute sketch and it hits the top in no time. I won’t lie and say I don’t care at all but the point I want to get out there is this…
I WANT TO WIN THAT FREAK’N CONEST…. A LOT.
And I don’t want no younger, hipper, more crowd pleasing artist’s style to snatch that under me (fire eyes). If half the site likes the artist’s work I’m sure it will be nice eye candy to some random people judging a mascot contest. And yes I’m a competitive person despite my laid back attitude. I have no clue why that is either, it’s just weird. If I feel like I need to achieve something and get ahead, my brain instantly starts turning to think of way I can get there. Fast and effective but nothing to tear no one down either, if I’m going to get to the top I’m going to do it on my terms. But getting back to the point I don’t want someone typical to win. Then I will just feel like I entered for nothing because another entry was an instant win. If I’m going to enter anything I want it to be worth it even if I don’t win. But god if I did that would just awesome *__*… My work plastered on everything, tickets to an anime convention, and 50 mangas that I have no clue to put at.
EEEEE I don’t care about my insecurities or my fears, I’m going to enter that damn contest and do my very best. And at the event a typical art piece does win I’ll just sulk and bitch about it here. >:D
YAY FOR PREP TALK!. SO IS ANYONE ELSE GOING TO ENTER THE CONTEST?
Aye guyssss…
Nothing much here, a lot of my supplies is coming in so if you want to hear about that hit up my Candy Sanctuary world.
I made a new ATC last night and I love it. I don’t think I want to trade it XD. It’s the same character as my last picture holding a paint brush. Crap, which reminds me that I need to post my cards and my clay cakes… I think I’ll do that later. Oh yeah! Unknown Rumors made a club for ATCs so go check it out and be super cool like the rest of us.
Last night was super awesome. While I was working on my newest card my drunken mother insisted on BLASTING her music to the high heavens down stairs. My dad brought over his big ass sound system last year and decided to keep it in our house. YOU GUYS DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH I WANT TO GET A MATCH AND BURN THE SOB. I hate the piece of crap because all it’s used for is to blast shitty rap and R&B music. Not to mention it has all the fancy buttons and knobs so if you want to simulate an earthquake you’re going to have some ear drum busting fun. The thing that pisses me off is that when my mom drinks she becomes a big 10 year old. Selfish, needy, annoying, cold person that I can say I hate a lot. No aggregation here, I really do hate her when she drinks. :| She’s fine when she’s sober but wtf, she drinks everyday if there’s any alcohol in the house. She doesn’t go to work drunk or anything like that but any other time she at least drinks beer and it pisses me off. I can’t stand her, it’s like her aura aggregates my soul and I become a very pissy person. I told her about this a few times but it never leads to anything. Especially since she’s older and I’m concerned about her health. She tried to quit twice but she was back on it within 2 months. So much for that…
And to amp up the crap meter is when she HAVE to listen to HER music. She has to listen to it extra fucking loud and through half the night. I’m telling you no lie when I say this “I want to bash my head in till blood comes out my ears”. Not only to I have to deal with her but I have to deal with loud music that I hate. It doesn’t even have to be music I hate. I can like the song but annoyed at the fact that it feels like my head is going to explode because of everything that’s going on. My mom screaming and yelling enjoying her self, my sister trying to converse with her by more yelling since the music is so loud and my dad doing the same sometimes. Then it’s me wanting to burn down the house and murder the family because I’m so uncomfortable.
I know my mom works hard so when she drinks and stuff I don’t bitch. It’s her house she pays the bill and all that bull. BUT LAST NIGHT WAS SO UNCALLED FOR. Everything was vibrating to the music that was playing downstairs. They kept turning it up and even my sister was playing her system at the same time last night. The walls in the house are as good as printer paper so I can hear that shit too. Words can’t describe the hatred that harbored in my soul last night. Being kept up but constant loud music trying to focus on what I was doing made me want to cut wires and throats. I tried to drown it out with playing my own music but I can’t take the volume but so much. I use to love playing my music really loud years ago but I can’t take it anymore and it’s annoying in general.
I REALLY WANT TO LIVE ON MY OWN IN A BIG NICE HOUSE THAT’S QUIET ALL THE TIME.
Sorry about this rant about my mom and my god awful night. I just need to vent because its healthy and if I don’t I’ll choke a baby in my sleep. The one good thing that did come out of it was my new ATC card and the fact that I know how to blend colors with copic markers. I’m so in love with them and every time I use them I learn more about how to apply colors, shading, and lighting.
I wanted to say more that was non angry but this post is way too long already. I’ll post again in a day or two.
P.S- I officially renamed “feature fandom” to “feature fuck up” because its funny and true these days...I’m done now. XD
How’s everyone’s morning? It’s the weekend so everyone must be sleeping or relaxing haha.
I completely forgot to mention that I brought pokemon soul sliver on Thursday! The last pokemon game I ever played was the original silver, but some jerk off stole it. After that I didn’t even bother with the other game after it (or was too broke to buy it). Though, when someone steals your pokemon game, you kind of lose the drive to be a pokemon master. : Doesn’t matter now because I’m coming out of retirement and ready to kick some 10 year old ass! >:D
Besides that, I made more orders for my craft business. There’s a link to it in my candy sanctuary world if you’re interested in reading about it. I’ve been jotting down some pretty good ideas about what I want to make. One of the things I really want to make is some realistic cupcakes. But I had a pretty interesting idea about the paper cup it’s in. I was thinking if I could possibly make my own? I can get some fancy scrapbook paper and border cutters so I can make my own paper cups! I drew down a pattern and tried it out with some flimsy printer paper. To my surprise it worked like a charm! I’m so excited to really try it out with real scrapbook paper but I will have to go up to Michaels to get some. That and some border cutters which can be really expensive. D: I hope they have a sell on that stuff soon.
I’ve been commenting a lot lately which is really nice! I also notice that I’m not playing FF13 nonstop to distract myself from my negative thoughts. It’s great to feel “normal” again. I felt like I was wasting away on the coach playing video games all day. To make it worst, time just flew by. It’s like someone started messing with the flow of time or something. I felt bad because there were so many things I want/need to do, but I wasn’t up to it. Luckily that state of mind didn’t last long and now I’m focus on my wants and needs again.
I explained this on my blog but I’ll say it here too, I’m in the middle of a new line art! It’s called “love is for suckers” I probably don’t have to explain the meaning behind it XD. I love the way its coming out! I had a tough time thinking up a good outfit for myself in the picture, but after a few tries I got something I really like! I should have it done today and posted.
I think that’s all for today. I’m tired of typing and I want to get started on the lineart again.
Oh yeah, today I woke up swinging my arm up trying to slap someone in a dream. XD I was under the covers so when I did that a flood of light came rushing in my eyes… AWESOME. That’s the second time of my life I acted out physically in a dream. The last time was when I was in elementary school. I was punching a girl I hated in a dream and woke up punching my pillow. XD
Yeah, I’m part psycho. D:<
I can’t stand it when a really popular artist goes on every damn art site out there and get rave reviews. But never comment, follow, or even be active on site itself BUT post art.
This never surprises me since I’ve seen it for years; I get it and all that.
But it’s like a wtf to me.
I mean yeah, they can do what they want but if you’re joining a site, generally you want to be a part of it, mingle with other artists, and be somewhat active in the community. So why JUST post art and that’s it? I could easily say that they are just fishing for MORE popularity then just the one site that they are on, but I don’t want to be so judgmental. I know there are two sides of every story.
But seriously, seeing one artist on three art sites with monster popularity that barely does anything but post art really annoys me at best. But hey if my art had tons of mass appeal for no goddamn reason I would want to spread the disease too. At least I would want to do something with that power besides getting praise, free subs, and digital panties bringing thrown at me.
Then on this site there’s an artist that I freak’n LOVE like a lot. I took a look at the artist’s profile and to my surprise there were less then 200 comments, less then 200 art posted with over 10,000 hugs, over 400 subscribers and the artist been here since 2005. Then my stomach turned when the artist only had watched 7 other POPULAR artists that do the same thing. After that their art was good but I felt somewhat taken like a damn sheep.
It was like someone hit me upside the head with a baseball bat. Then I saw that the artist was on deviant art and was the cats meow there too… I TOTALLY DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING.
Pro tip: Don’t take the internets seriously, because the things you’ll see you will have to laugh at.
One last thing, this feature fandom crud makes me puke. There is yet another fan art that was on the front page THE DAY BEFORE…
Just for shiz and giggles what would YOU want to add to theO?
I would want something so level the playing field here or something. I don’t know, I been accepted the way things are on the internet so yeahhhhhh.
Hey guys!
How is everyone’s weekend going? Mines are going pretty smoothly despite my less then happy week.
No, my ex still made no attempt to contact me. His phone was finally on yesterday and I called numerous times with no answer. I finally left yet another voice mail telling him to get his stuff and I’m moving on. After that I wrote him a long e-mail about everything. How I can’t be there for him if he won’t talk to me. How I have to move on and etc. I’ll probably post it if he doesn’t reply back. I added in the title to please reply back so I know he got it. I also put it in his IM just in case he’s not trying to look in his e-mail. We’ll see what happens.
Yesterday, I went through a really rough rut. I felt like everything was simply going down hill (more then the ex too). My world has token a big hit and somehow I forgot my way, sort of. I knew inside that I still wanted to make a career out of my creativity as a whole but I felt myself become more hesitant about it. About everything. Was what I was doing right or even worth it? I haven’t felt that bad in a long time. I’m not the kind to wallow too deep in my sorrows, so I took a nap and told myself when I wake up, shit WILL be different.
I woke up still feeling “blah” but I told myself over and over that I can do it and make my dreams come true. Even though I still felt that hesitance I set that aside and kept my focus. I won’t let anything take my dreams away, not even myself. I also have to remember what good is going on with my life as well. My dad is living with me and my family now (older sister and mother). He retired from his job where he worked for 22 years. My dad finally has us to take care of him and vice versa. My mom and sister was so stressed that their hair started falling out last year before he came. Both saw hair growing back the last month or two.
I myself and my sister were lucky enough to have my dad live with us since we don’t have jobs, so the pressure isn’t huge like it was before. We both can focus on building our businesses and dreams.
My creations have been getting better and I’m expanding my art horizons, friends, and networking around the web. My contest is a big hit and even Gadriann asked me if it was okay if she upload some comics based on Otaku Battle Royal!
So everything is far from bad depending what you look at 90% of the time. As long as I keep my focus, dreams, and friends close I’m pretty sure I’ll achieve more then what I asked for.
I also want to mention how lucky I am to know the people I do. You guys, other people on the net, and my best friend ranz (forgot his fake name I gave him). You all really made things 10x easier to handle this week. And I can’t thank you all enough for it. :3
So yeah free art raffle to show my thanks plus I’m up to it, anyone can join I don’t care. :3
