Once again I have to live in complete and utter bullshit.
Why do I have to live in such disappointment? Why do I have to deal with others insecurities? Why do the people that we despise most take SO long to DROP OFF THE EARTH?
I hate...
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So yeah, I was casually browsing for descendants of darkness manga earlier today. I wanted to buy all the volumes that came out (not now but soon) since I only have one. So I browsed though the “suggestions” they always have there and ...
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Howdy howdy!
Just a small post about the funeral yesterday. Surprisingly it was a really good day. Me my sister and my mom thought is was going to be a dreadful day but it wasn’t! I met so many old family friends, family members, and people around my old neighborhood. It’s as if it were 10 years ago, like I’m living in a memory.
As far as the actual funeral, it was…. interesting. While the viewing was going on, my family members were kissing ggm (great grandmother) on the head. So many things were going through my head because I never saw a dead relative in a casket before. Even at my grandmother’s funeral I don’t think I went up to see the body for whatever reason, but anyway. All the family members were kissing her on the forehead and I didn’t want to seem heartless or abnormal and not do it. Not because of any emotional grudges or anything like that but the left side fact originated part of my brain was telling me.
That’s a dead body; people are not supposed to kiss dead bodies… Then add tons of fear on top of that fact…
When it was my turn to view my ggm I wanted to run to the hills.
So I went up and saw here for the first time in years. Her face wasn’t as full, she clearly aged more and she was… well dead. I never passed out before but I was so very close to it at that moment of time. It felt like time has froze itself and I was almost watching myself stare at her. Then I debated chaotically if I should kiss her on the head like everyone else. I did, and it was by far the strangest thing I ever did/felt. The body was Luke warm/cold and very stiff. I went back to sit in the first seat I could find which was at the first row.
/end the weirdest moment of my life
Besides that everything went fine, and the service was beautiful! When we went to see ggm off in the cemetery the Minister’s wife released a pretty white dove.
Afterwards there were lots of catching up with people but I was my timid self and just sat around mostly. I did talk but only when it was necessary haha.
Oh! While I was there, me, my mother, and our family friend whom we didn’t see in about 10 years went to the thrift shop. I got three really pretty plates to display my charms and jewelry on when I take pictures of them. All a dollar each! I’ll take some pictures of them today when I don’t feel so lazy haha.
That’s all I wanted to say. I hope I didn’t freak anyone out with my story; I really needed to get it out of my system. Thanks for reading!
Hey all! I hope everyone’s week is going good.
I really wanted to start a new journal to get rid of the last one. It was way to intense with serious matters so yeah. Since I’m on that subject my great grandmother’s funeral is tomorrow. I wanted to get my hair done but my hair stylist is in on Friday’s and Saturday’s. So that’s out, also everyone is suppose to wear white at the funeral which me and my mom have no white clothes. So we are going to wear something that’s not white but formal at the funeral. It’s going to be one heck of a day tomorrow. I’ll give an update about once it’s done and over.
In much better news I’ve been really busy lately! I’ve been commenting on all the art sites that I’m on, posting my latest works, updating all of my social sites, and finally commenting on all the blogs I subscribed to. Its pretty fun and I enjoy it a lot. I also like commenting on the random works of people I don’t know too. It’s that interaction and positive energy that I like! It’s always nice to meet new artists, people and possibly new friends! Especially here, I love how happy people are to see my sweets. It also gives me more confidence in my work and how successful I can be in it. I’m going to make sure that I keep up all the positively and commenting habits since I’m seeing a lot of good feedback!
One thing I’m noticing more is the random new people here. I know there are always new people signing up but I’m seeing more that are posting art. It seems so random to see so many in the last few months especially if they are from deviant art or someplace else. It’s sorta like a wtf because this is more of a beginners place to start in you know? Maybe because it’s an easier venue to get popular since there are a lot of beginner artists here? WHO KNOWS. 8T
Oh yeah I keep forgetting about my contest! I’m not sure about who should win. I went over it for a while now and I can’t make up my mind since there are a lot of good entries there. I know there were a lot of people that used the pencil/tablet idea but there are some that did the concept well. Then there are the entries that did well without using the tablet idea. Its like “Holy s*** what to do!”, I got to make a decision fast so I can start on the prizes. I still want to do a big picture with everyone that entered too since I don’t want anyone to feel like a loser haha. So much to think about… @X@
I guess this will be the last topic of the day, I was thinking of redoing/starting my sweets inspired incubus set and starting other sets. I don’t know what it is about drawing “sets and themes” but I absolutely love doing them, even if I never finish them. Just the ideas and expanding on them really interest me even when I was a kid. Then of course I draw this thing and now I want to do an angel/devil set of those. I have no clue what it is but I just have an urge like I have to do them haha. That feeling tells me that I should be doing them then, my instincts are never wrong! Also I want to start doing adoptables, ever since I got unknown’s ninja account I’ve been seeing so many great artists do them. I might not sell them at first but I want to try my hand at it. It looks like so much fun! *U*
So I have this out of my system here are some of the sets I want to start/redo
• My sweets themed incubuses
• My bottle fairies
• This one is old old OLD but my new generation mews
• My angel/devil robo inspired animal things
• Some adoptables
And out of curiosity what theme/set/adoptable would you want to see from me? *U*
Thanks for reading/commenting/supporting me in all my ventures. It’s always appreciated, love you guys. ;A; take care!
*Okay come to find out that the neighbor isn't dead at all thank goodness. We all she her go into her house happily a few minutes ago. I guess it was only a close call or something*
A lot has happened in the last 24 hours for real.
Last night the same neighbor that was causing my mother/family dread went to the hospital. I think she’s dead. Due to that the ambulance people had her in a white bag with a sheet over her body. I saw her feet and I think and her head. My mom she her face and was really upset. Even when she was in the ambulance truck it was about 10 minutes later till they drove off, no lights, alarms or anything. So yeah, I think she died or actually committed suicide. My mom heard her talking on the phone that morning about how bad things were in her life and such. So we all just assumed.
Its sad because our neighbor and my mom were good friends before she started accusing my mom of things that never happened. Once the neighbor convinced herself that my mom had an affair with her husband things got so ugly. One of the reasons why I was in such a rut about 2 weeks ago because that drama really went to a head. Then the really ironic part was that the son was threatening us saying that “if anyone is going to die it won’t be any of us” (the neighbor’s family). So yeah watch what you say/do because you’ll never know what’s around the corner. Even though I think the son is a complete jerk off wannabe gangster, I hope he will be okay since did just lose his mom after all. I also hope that nothing come out of it in terms of drama towards us either since we never did anything wrong.
I feel kinda indifferent but generally sad at the same time since she was a good friend to my mom and my family for a short while. Then when all the drama happened my feelings towards her went south. The last time I saw her she looked really bad/sick. Probably not as much as looks but you can tell the stress she was under due to the drama as well. Its just sad…
Also a few hours later my great grandmother died in the nursing home. I little more emotions there, but a mix bag of feelings. I was never really attached to her and in the last few years that my family lived in our old neighborhood with my other family members there was drama then. Mostly after my grandma died and how jerky my family got. So there is a negative rep towards my GGM, I also experienced it myself so yeah. Though that very last time I saw her (few years ago) she was really loving (she had bad alzheimer's) so I guess my GGM forgot the beef between her and my mother. That was nice. :) She also was burning the food she was cooking when we went there. So everything ISN’T bad I definitely had my good times with her before and after my family went crazy. : She was 96 too, Christ that’s old. She went through events that I read in history books. I couldn’t imagine having 96 years worth of memories, especially since I’m 21. She lived about 5 of my life times. Just wow.
So now the next thing is the funeral, meeting and seeing my family and new ones. And come of find out a lot of my family lives in the south (I live up north in Philadelphia, PA). I love how your parents tell you important information like that once someone dies. I mean WHAT BETTER time can there be to know MORE about the family tree/history? >:| even with that said I’m not looking forward to seeing my old family or meeting new ones, not to mention AT A FUNERAL. It’s just such an awkward thing these days because of old grudges and such. Then the whole meeting new people thing, just everything UGH. Just leave me be under my pink rock and computer. *disgruntle*
In much more light hearted news I went out today and got some different brands of glues. I want to make sure that the head pins stay in the charms as well stick better on the ring bases. So I’m testing out the best glue to use for that. When I went to borders they had an idiots guide to selling crafts so I snatched that up. Then when I went to the bargain section and found a how to bling random items book for 2 bucks. Both books are awesome and I’m so glad I decided to go to the book store first. *3*
ALSO MY FREAKING GIFT BAGS CAME IN YESTERDAY. God I’m so happy that they didn’t get lost in the mail T__T… I gave it another week for the bags to come since the seller said on her esty site it take 20 days for the packages to reach their destination. So yeah, things are coming together in my “business” venture haha.
Sorry this post was so long, it wasn’t a normal one as you can see. I hope both my GGM and the neighbor at least passed away peacefully. I’m trying to post this one picture but TheO is acting really stupid. We’ll see what happens today, chow for now!
