Standing next to one of my best friends makes me feel like shit. She'll always be the prettier one, the thinner one, the easier one. She'll always catch a guys' eye and get them to like her, while I'll just be second choice.
She's one of the reasons why I started to starve myself.
She loves me, I know she does. And she's always talking about how funny I am, how pretty I am, how she loves being around me, how she can't stand it when I'm mad at her because I'm the one she can be honest with, and how smart I am. I'm the one who she can bitch and moan to. I'm the one she can lean on, cry on, talk smack to without being hurt. I'll give her my opinion truthfully and she won't be upset. I'm the one who doesn't copy everything she does. I'm the one who challenges her. Who pushes her. Who makes her laugh until she cries. Who can make her feel great even when she feels like crap.
I'm the one she calls first and foremost.
But even with all the praises, I can't help but resent her because she'll always be more physically prettier than me.
She calls herself fat and ugly even when she's one of the prettiest girls in our school. So, E, how do you think it makes me feel when you say all those things about yourself, and then when I get home I look at myself and think, 'If she thinks she's fat, than I must be obese'? How fat and ugly do you think I feel?
- L.
