The Fifth Commandment

Thou shall not use thy artwork to answer the door or telephone for any reason.

The Akatsuki had finally fixed the damage Deidara had done to their base. Everyone was gone, save for Sasori. Deidara was in Konohagakure running errands, and the other teams were all on missions. The puppet master was in the common room, enjoying the peace and quiet. Sasori was curled up on the couch under a black fleece blanket, reading his favorite book, “Puppets” by Daniel Hecht. A delivery order for a cheese pizza had been placed nearly thirty minutes ago, and the redhead’s attention could no longer be held by his book. His stomach roared and growled in anticipation of the steaming, melted cheese on top of the delicious tomato sauce and delectable dough.

Sasori was pulled from his pizza-riddled fantasies by the sharp ringing of the doorbell. He looked at the clock on the opposite wall. “Tch. Two minutes late. I’ll make that miserable, pathetic waste of skin pay for forcing me to wait,” he grumbled. The puppeteer raised his hands and took control of his latest puppet, which looked rather grotesque in its human-beetle form, with his chakra strings. Maneuvering the puppet towards the door, Sasori giggled inwardly. He could hear the door opening, as he commanded his artwork to do so. “Here is your piz—uwaaah!” came the cry of the delivery boy. He heard the box drop to the ground and the sound of running footsteps. The puppet picked up the pizza and brought it to the puppet master on command.

Just as Sasori was about to take the first bite of his prize, the phone began to ring. “What wretched fool has the gall to disturb me now?” he spat angrily. At his command, Hiruko answered the phone. A feminine voice seemed to pour out of the receiver. “How would you like to join my collection of puppets, dear?” he commanded the hunchback to question, malice dripping from every word. There was a loud click and the dial tone suddenly began pouring from the receiver. Hiruko placed the receiver back in its cradle, and immediately fell limp.

After Sasori finished his pizza, he decided to take a nap. Before retreating to his room, the redhead commanded several of his puppets to take care of any disturbances. He left Hiruko in charge of the group.

Meanwhile, all of Konoha was in an uproar. The delivery boy had run back to the restaurant screaming about a bug man. The telemarketer packed her things and left her desk hastily, all the while mumbling about not wanting to be a puppet. One mailman in particular was overheard screaming about a scorpion man. Deidara knew immediately his danna was up to something. The blond man hurriedly finished his errands and returned to the Akatsuki base.

Upon returning, the clay master headed straight for Sasori’s room. He burst in, unannounced. “Danna! What have you been doing, un?” the blond questioned angrily. Sasori opened his eyes half-way and gave Deidara a smirk. “Whatever do you mean? I haven’t done a thing,” he replied. Deidara glared at the puppet master. “I think you know what I mean, un,” he stated flatly. Sasori looked up at his partner with the best innocent face he could muster. “Dei-chan, I was only having a little fun,” he said, pretending to be hurt by the clay master’s accusations. Suddenly, Kakuzu and Pein appeared behind Deidara. “Sasori!” Pein shouted angrily. “Do you know what you’ve done? You’ve caused all of Konoha to be in an uproar!” “Not to mention the financial damage you’ve done to our account, what with the soon-to-be-filed lawsuits,” Kakuzu spat through gritted teeth. Pein glared at the puppet master. “One more mishap like this, and we’ll throw you to them, no questions asked!” he roared.