So y'know that Uncharted game series I love? The one with the treasure thief who goes around hunting down pretty artifacts, killing pirates, and otherwise being a loveable jerkass with permastubble?
Well, first off, they announced they wanted to make a movie. Okay, awesome, the games were already really cinematic as was, and a whole commercial was actually about how a guy's girlfriend thought it was a movie . . .
(Funny story, my co-worker legit' says his mom thought it was a movie too)
. . . so the fans are excited. And we're all thinking about the possibilities, the potential actors who could play Drake, and so on and so forth. Basically, we wanted Nathan Fillion. Not only is he aptly named, but the man actually TWITTERED that he wanted the role! Compare the faces, if ye shall:
For fans, this felt like a no-brainer. The man has the face, he has the cockiness and swagger for it, and he'd have massive fan appeal.
So naturally, they hired in Mark Wahlberg to play Drake. And within that same story, they hint that they're considering getting Joe Pesci and Robert De Niro to play Drake's uncle and father.
The uncle and father being characters that have never ever come up in the games thus far.
And then today we hear how excited the director is about this movie, and all his ideas for how awesome it will be. He's enthusiastic, that's good.
Except he's enthusiastic for NATIONAL TREASURE 3 far more than he is for Uncharted:
NATHAN DRAKE IS A FUCKING ARTIFACT THIEF!!! HOW DO YOU FUCK THAT UP?!?!
The first game opens with him being attacked by pirates while he runs an illegal scavenging operation out in the ocean! The second game's chronological start is Drake taking on a job to break into a Turkish museum! The character may have a good heart, but he's far from being a good man.
Second of all, where's this family coming from? This is where you get to the part of "why even bother with the Uncharted IP if the only thing you're going to use from it is the name?"
I don't know how you screw this up. The core idea of the series is so fundamentally simple: 30-something everyman goes treasure hunting in a world of pirates and thieves, finds himself in over his head, survives his way out while killing lots and lots of bad people along the way.
Instead, we get National Treasure 3. Fuck.
I know there's the idea that "if the game is like a movie already, then why bother making a movie?" There's truth in that, to be sure. Still, it'd be pretty badass to see a live-action adaptation of something like this on a big screen. And with that in mind, you'd think in theory it'd be really easy to pull it off - follow how the game works, and you're set. You don't need to mess around with it. You wanna make your own story, fine, sure. Just stick to the core basics and you will have a fun, exciting, faithful movie that will make everyone go, "THIS is how you make a video game movie!"
Y'know, when all the bad omens for "The Last Airbender" started, I still gave them the benefit of the doubt. I saw him speaking on the DVD featurette and we could see how enthusiastic he was for the project and how he was definitely a fan . . . and I looked past all the racial issues that plagued the casting calls and the depictions of good guys and bad guys . . . . . aaaaaand then it turned out the movie stunk it up hard.
I can't even begin to believe this will turn out well for the Uncharted series. Like, at all.
Sony, Naughty Dog . . . this is your baby. Rescue it before it gets fed to the lions. Please.
