So yeah, it says I don't care whether I'm in a relationship, and for a while, that statement had been true. I was learning to be content, and it didn't matter to me whether I found someone or not. Here recently though, those feelings have changed. I was thinking about a few guys. One of them I just was with online, and it wasn't too long before he said he just wanted to be friends. It lasted maybe a month. Then, there was the guy I went out with once, and I ended it right after that because I was put off by him. Then, there was the guy that took me on two dates, and it ended after that. He again said we were better off as friends. I went on the most memorable date ever, but it was over before it even got started. I went to the ballet with him. Oh, and then there's the last guy. This guy was a creep and only wanted to use me for his own pleasure. I ended it with him after I realized what a jerk he was. That didn't last long either. I went on maybe three dates with him. The thing is, I've come to realize, I've never actually been in a relationship. I can't help but feel a slight twinge of jealousy when I see my friends in happy relationships or getting married. The truth of it is, I want to feel wanted. I want to feel like I'm someone's everything. Maybe I'm just a boring girl or something, and that's why guys just see me as a friend, but I'm tired of always being on the back burner or at the bottom of the list. For once, it would be nice to have someone want me. I want to feel loved. I know my friends and family love me, but that's not the same. I want it to last beyond a few phone calls or messages online. I want it to last more than just a few dates. I don't care if it's just once. I'd like to be in a serious relationship at least once.