I don't know what to do. I'm so lost and confused, and I'm ready to just break down and cry. I am the most screwed up woman on the face of the planet. I'd hate to end a friendship because I really, really care a lot for this person, but my heart won't let go. I've tried everything I know to do, but I still have feelings for said person. It's terrible, it's awful. I can't keep holding on like this. I want to be friends, I really want to be friends, but I'm afraid it's gotten so bad, I'm going to have to tell him, I cannot be friends with him anymore. It's not anything he did. It's me. I don't know why because anyone else would have no problem letting go, but me? No. I shouldn't have fallen in love in the first place. Love for me is a bad thing. It's nothing but poison. I'm never falling in love again. All it does it costs me my friends, since when I fall, I fall hard. Maybe I shouldn't have fallen for a friend. If he was anyone else, it wouldn't be so hard. The question I face now is whether to give up a friend or to try my hardest to be a good friend again. What do I do? If I let him go, I just hope he understands. It already breaks my heart just thinking about it. If I do let go, and he hates me afterwards, I can't say I'd blame him, but it's going to hurt to know I've hurt him.