You know, I don't pretend to understand my heart, nor do I really want to. My heart is confusing, or maybe I'm just confusing. I don't know. All I know is that I've tried to tell myself I don't want to be in love, but then again, there's another part of me that wants to be in love. I live 30 minutes away from town, so you'd think I'd have opportunities to go out and meet people. I can't. I don't go clubbing and I don't drink, so bars are out of the question. It seems everyone I've ever liked lives too far away. Even an hour is too far. I don't want to be depressing. I've tried not to be, but there's one side trying to hold on to sanity, and there's another side of me that says, "Who are you kidding?" So, I don't know whether to want love or not. One part of me is saying it's okay to be single and to just accept it. The other part of me says I need to fight it. Do I accept this lonely life or do I seek more?
Recently, I found a photo online, and this photo is a lie. Time rips your heart in two, and distance does matter. Whoever came up with this has obviously never tried a long distance relationship. Long distance relationships do not work. I don't care who you are, it won't work. Unless you're made of money and you can make time to see each other, it will not work. The trouble is, long distance is all I have.
Sorry, this photo won't load because it's on my facebook, but to quote, it said, "When two people love each other no time is too long, no distance is too far, and no one can ever tear them apart."
Sorry, but that is a lie.
For once, I want someone to invest in me like I want to invest in him. Instead of him saying "Meh..." getting bored and turning away from me, I want him to want me. Why do I always get friendzoned? Is it just because I can't give him what he wants? Or maybe I'm just boring. *sigh* Who knows?
