Why must I suffer all the time? I have so much paranoia and I'm so emotional all the time that I can't be like everyone else. Why? Why do I suffer? I don't understand. I put myself and everyone I know through so much crap, that I'm sure something's going to give soon. Either I will break, or they will break, or they've already broken. Whatever happens or has happened, I feel so powerless to stop it. I lost one friend because of my stupidty. I feel as though The Devil must love putting me through misery. I hate all this misery, and I want to stop, but I'm spiraling out of control. I need to fix myself, but I'm failing to do so.

If I could dig a grave and bury myself inside it, I would. Then, it wouldn't matter.