Name: Nikki
Age: 27
DOB: Nov. 24 1986
Height: 5ft roughly - What? I'm short
Believe in Love at First Sight: No.
Relationship Status: Single / Don't care
Here lately, I've come to discover, it doesn't matter whether I get married or not. It doesn't even matter if I stay single. Thing is, I may or may not be ready for it. What's important is being content with what you have.
I have a lot of favorite anime, but a few of them include: Code Geass, Trigun, Fullmetal Alchemist and Fairy Tail.
Favorite music: rock / hard rock / heavy metal, pop - I like things that people have said doesn't fit me.
My all time favorite band is the old Guns N' Roses. The new one sucked. End of story.

Me pretty?

Wow... you know what? My current facebook profile pic that was taken of me in December has 30 likes. Lol I totally didn't expect that. So maybe I'm wrong, and maybe people do think I'm pretty. It's just a random thought, but it's nice to think about.

Why am I Doing This?

Why the heck is it that I still care? I don't get it. Why am I still questioning whether there's anything appealing about me? Why am I asking myself if most guys think I'm boring? Gah... I'm so dumb, I shouldn't care about love anymore, and yet I do. If there is supposed to be someone for everyone, he'd better hurry up and come down here then. I'm tired of playing the guessing game, trying to figure out if someone likes me. If someone likes me, I wish he'd just tell me. Is it really so hard? "Nikki, I think you're a nice girl, and you're very pretty. Would you mind going out with me?" Me: "Sure." See, that's not so hard, is it? Of course it's different in reality I guess. I still think my brain is an idiot. Yes, I'm calling my brain an idiot instead of me. I'm always wrong in my gut instincts. I have no instincts. Most people can easily figure out the way someone feels, but I struggle with it. I can tell basic emotions, like if someone's angry, sad, happy or other wise, but due to my lack of interaction I suppose, I don't know how to read a man. Meaning, even if a man was interested, I'd have no idea. lol it's no wonder I'm single. All I ever do is, "Hi. How are you? I'm doing pretty good." *scans items and bags them*. "Okay sir / mam your total is $241.07. Alright, here's your change and your receipt. Have a good day / evening." Yep, this pretty much describes every day for me except when I'm off. Oh, and then, there's the RP, random chats on IM and the random crap I do on facebook. And then, I go to church on Sunday. *sigh* I should just be happy being single and quit having these discussions. I talk about the same old crap all the time. Why can't I just give up?

True Grave Brandon Heat

Alright, so I'm watching several anime right now, and honestly, I can't list everything I'm watching, but one anime I happen to be watching right now is called, "Gungrave". I'm in the middle of those 26 episodes, and something is telling me Brandon should turn away from Harry. I don't know... maybe I'm crazy, but I can forsee it's about to get bad. Not the anime mind you, but the plot. There's going to be a major twist and somewhere along the line, it will involve Maria. The beginning is a huge foreshadowing clue, but like anything with a foreshadowing clue at the beginning, you have to watch it or read it all the way through because it makes you want to figure out what happened. That's the whole point of one. And, I never realized just how good of a marksman Brandon was until I got to one episode where he killed a guy through the curtain with one shot, and he "knew" the guy was there. I thought Vash the Stampede from "Trigun" was good, but I'm thinking Brandon might be better. Anyways, I can't wait to see what happens next.

Stole this quiz from a friend because I can

200: My crush's name is: Crush? None
199: I was born in: 1986
198: I am really: Don't know what you mean. Be more specific.
197: My cellphone company is: AT&T for now...
196: My eye color is: Brown
195: My shoe size is: 7 1/2
194: My ring size is: 6
193: My height is: 5 ft
192: I am allergic to: ? Don't know
191: My 1st car was: A really old Mercury.
190: My 1st job was: the movie theater
189: Last book you read: Um... I don't remember. Probably Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban because I never really finished the others.
188: My bed is: has multi-colored stripes and my stuffed animals sit on it with me.
187: My pet: is actually my nephew's dog
186: My best friend: I have a lot of friends, none are really a best friend.
185: My favorite shampoo is: I don't have a favorite. I have to use a special kind for my psoriasis.
184: Xbox or ps3: PS3. I don't want to pay to use a game system.
183: Piggy banks are: cute.
182: In my pockets: nothing.
181: On my calendar: I used to put up my work schedule, oh and there are horse pictures.
180: Marriage is: A good thing, but I don't have anyone in my life I'd marry right now.
179: Spongebob can: Make me laugh.
178: My mom: I love my mom.
177: The last three songs I bought were: On a Justin Timberlake CD
176: Last YouTube video watched: No idea... can't remember.
175: How many cousins do you have? Too many to list. I haven't kept track of how many cousins I have.
174: Do you have any siblings? 1
173: Are your parents divorced? No
172: Are you taller than your mom? No
171: Do you play an instrument? I used to. I've played clarinet, bass clarinet and tenor sax.
170: What did you do yesterday? Bought some tennis shoes I needed.
[ I Believe In ]
169: Love at first sight: No.
168: Luck: Yes
167: Fate: Maybe.
166: Yourself: Maybe
165: Aliens: Maybe
164: Heaven: Yes
163: Hell: Yes
162: God: Yes
161: Horoscopes: Not really, but they're interesting to read.
160: Soul mates: Not sure.
159: Ghosts: Not anymore. I did when I was like 11 or so.
158: Gay Marriage: The federal government can't ban it.
157: War: Don't like it, but it exists.
156: Orbs: ?
155: Magic: Only in our minds.

[ This or That ]
154: Hugs or Kisses: Well, I don't know... so far, I like hugs.
153: Drunk or High: Neither
152: Phone or Online: Real life
151: Red heads or Black haired: Doesn't matter
150: Blondes or Brunettes: doesn't matter
149: Hot or cold: neither. I like warm.
148: Summer or winter: summer
147: Autumn or Spring: Spring
146: Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate! :D
145: Night or Day: Day
144: Oranges or Apples: Both
143: Curly or Straight hair: Makes no difference
142: McDonalds or Burger King: Burger King. McDonald's sucks.
141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Either
140: Mac or PC: There are downsides to both. I don't understand this argument.
139: Flip flops or high heals: Neither. Flip flops are uncomfortable most of the time, and I have a hard time wearing heels most of the time because they make them too high. Besides, you can't wear heels all day because they hurt your feet and back. I can't understand women that wear them all the time. My flats are better.
138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Sweet and poor. Money just makes people greedy and unhappy.
137: Coke or Pepsi: either
136: Hillary or Obama: Hilary. She was my original choice. Although, actually, I think Ross Perot or Ralph Nader was better.
135: Burried or cremated: Cremated. Funerals are too expensive.
134: Singing or Dancing: Singing. Although, I've discovered dancing is fun too.
133: Coach or Chanel: Um... no idea. I don't keep up with high priced fashion. My purse is Nine West just because I liked the flower design.
132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Neither.
131: Small town or Big city: Big city. Small towns are boring.
130: Wal-Mart or Target: Neither. Retail sucks.
129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Both.
128: Manicure or Pedicure: Both! :D
127: East Coast or West Coast: Meh... don't care, just as long as I don't live in eternal winter.
126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Well, both are okay. I just don't like all the needless stress of Christmas. It's a better holiday if we focus on what's important and not on what presents or how many presents we buy. My birthday is in November, so when I was a kid, it was hard having birthday parties because it was too cold and hardly anyone came. lol I don't really do much on my birthday anyway. Most holidays are over rated with the exception of Halloween. I love Halloween, even though I can't celebrate it much really anymore.
125: Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate. lol chocolate flowers? XD
124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney, but I like both.
123: Yankees or Red Sox: If I must choose, Red Sox. Although, I like the Braves -eventhough I don't really watch baseball.
[ Here's What I Think About ]
122: War: Why?
121: George Bush: Meh... didn't care for him.
120: Gay Marriage: Repetitive question.
119: The presidential election: Is overrated really. I say pick who you want, hope they get elected and go on.
118: Abortion: Women have the right to choose. Some women have valid reasons, some not so much. Either way, you have to live with your choice.
117: MySpace: lol Who uses that anymore?
116: Reality TV: Bleh...The only show I remotely care for is The Amazing Race.
115: Parents: I love my parents.
114: Back stabbers: Don't like, but who does?
113: Ebay: Don't use it. Don't care.
112: Facebook: I really could do without it, even though I'm on it all the time. I don't really see how it's useful. It's basically something I get on and post random stuff all the time because I get bored easily.
111: Work: Is boring, and I need a better job.
110: My Neighbors: Some are nice, others can stay away.
109: Gas Prices: Are too high and unreasonable prices. Most of the time, they don't even need to be so high. Then again, the cost of living is too high and people don't make enough money to keep up. That should change.
108: Designer Clothes: Too expensive and only look good on skinny models.
107: College: A waste of time.
106: Sports: Mostly like football.
105: My family: I love my family.
104: The future: Is doomed.
[ Last time I ]
103: Hugged someone: Um... I don't remember.
102: Last time you ate: This morning.
101: Saw someone I haven't seen in awhile: idk
100: Cried in front of someone: I don't remember.
99: Went to a movie theater: Don't remember.
98: Took a vacation: Was in the Smoky Mountains and Dollywood with my family or maybe Six Flags over Georgia. I don't remember the year, but we used to go on vacation a lot.
97: Swam in a pool: I don't remember.
96: Changed a diaper: never
95: Got my nails done: I think I was in college still.
94: Went to a wedding: Not sure the year, but my sister's friend got married and I went with her.
93: Broke a bone: never
92: Got a peircing: I was 13.
91: Broke the law: Never.
90: Texted: last night.
[ MISC ]
89: Who makes you laugh the most: Either anime or my friends.
88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: My home. I've lived with my parents forever, and I don't know how to live on my own.
87: The last movie I saw: GI Joe. Good movie. Could've been a little better.
86: The thing that I'm looking forward to the most: Being in Heaven with my family (I hope).
85: The thing im not looking forward to: Death.
84: People call me: lol don't know
83: The most difficult thing to do is: No idea. A lot of things are difficult.
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: Nope
81: My zodiac sign is: Sagittarius
80: The first person i talked to today was: My mom.
79: First time you had a crush: lol I was 5 almost 6. He went to church with us, and I really started liking him when we were on a VBS trip. lol but what did I know about love at that age?
78: The one person who i can't hide things from: My parents.
77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: No idea
76: Right now I am talking to: No one.
75: What are you going to do when you grow up: Hopefully, I'll at least have a career. We'll worry about the other things later.
74: I have/will get a job: I have one, need a better one.
73: Tomorrow: is another day.
72: Today: is today.
71: Next Summer: lol no idea
70: Next Weekend: I'll probably have to work?
69: I have these pets: My nephew's dog.
68: The worst sound in the world: Kids screaming.
67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Myself.
66: People that make you happy: My friends.
65: Last time I cried: Don't remember.
64: My friends are: amazing.
63: My computer is: a good thing and a bad thing. I spend way too much time online, but that's my fault so yeah...
62: My School: College was bleh besides marching band. High school was fun.
61: My Car: Sentra
60: I lose all respect for people who: Act like they're better than everyone else or prove to be fake friends.
59: The movie I cried at was: I don't cry at movies.

58: Your hair color is: brownish red
57: TV shows you watch: anime and My Little Pony
56: Favorite web site: Youtube. Lot of music.
55: Your dream vacation: Hawaii
54: The worst pain I was ever in was: No idea, and I don't want to remember.
53: How do you like your steak cooked: Well-done.
52: My room is: An organized mess.
51: My favorite celebrity is: No idea.
50: Where would you like to be: On vacation for a very long time.
49: Do you want children: Yes (maybe like one or two at the most)
48: Ever been in love: Not really
47: Who's your best friend: Don't have "best" friends
46: More guy friends or girl friends: Guys
45: One thing that makes you feel great is: music
44: One person that you wish you could see right now: My friends who don't live in this state.
43: Do you have a 5 year plan: No.
42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: No.
41: Have you pre-named your children: lol I like coming up with names. T'is fun.
40: Last person I got mad at: Probably a customer. Don't know.
39: I would like to move to: Hawaii or New Orleans.
38: I wish I was a professional: No idea really. I just want to travel.
[ My Favorites ]
37: Candy: Reese's.
36: Vehicle: Mustang
35: President: George Washington. Nobody listened to him though and the country is screwed over because of it.
34: State visited: Louisiana. New Orleans was the bomb.
33: Cellphone provider: No idea. As long as they're cheap and have good service.
32: Athlete: No idea.
31: Actor:Too many
30: Actress: Still Too many
29: Singer: Christina Scabbia from Lacuna Coil or Emmy Rossum
28: Band: the old Guns N' Roses
27: Clothing store: Nowhere really.
26: Grocery store: Wherever
25: TV show: Code Geass, Fairy Tail or Fullmetal Alchemist. Regular tv used to be Frazier, Seinfeld or Home Improvement
24: Movie: The Nightmare Before Christmas
23: Website: Youtube
22: Animal: white tigers
21: Theme park: doesn't exist anymore, but it was Opryland
20: Holiday: Halloween
19: Sport to watch: football
18: Sport to play: none.
17: Magazine: none
16: Book: Harry Potter
15: Day of the week: The day I don't have to work. :3
14: Beach: ? Myrtle Beach ?
13: Concert attended: Deep Purple and The Scorpions
12: Thing to cook: I don't cook.
11: Food: Italian
10: Restaurant: no idea
9: Radio station: Whatever my mood is. If I have to pick one, I'd say either 105.9 The Rock or 92.9 The Mix. I also like 102.9 The Buzz
8: Yankee candle scent: Whatever smells good.
7: Perfume: Whatever smells good
6: Flower: Roses, Cherry Blossoms
5: Color: yellow and pink
4: Talk show host: Steve Harvey
3: Comedian: No idea.
2: Dog breed: Again no idea.
1: Did you answer all these truthfully: Yeah

Things I Don't Need and What I Do Need

I don't need fear and paranoia. Yes, as much as I hate to admit this, but even as I sit here now, I still struggle with this. Oh the fear that overtakes my soul, waiting to devour me with your madness, please leave. You are not welcome. I don't need you running my life. I've been trying to get rid of you for so long, but so far, I've been unsuccessful.

I do need more patience. Aye. I have a really hard time waiting for something, and I need to learn to wait. Even in my old age, lol, I get annoyed when I'm left waiting for something or someone. I guess though, this gets back to my paranoia. I'm afraid, and I worry. See... this is why Yoda said fear was one of the things that leads to the darkside. It makes a person weak. This is one reason I lack in my own self-confidence. lol Maybe I've already been taken over by the darkside.

Anyways, I heard the song "Patience" by Guns N' Roses on the radio on my way home today, and I thought, this is the perfect song for me. If I learn to wait, I will have the answers I seek.

Be strong. Don't let the madness in.