I sat on my bed, my knees curled up to my chest and my head resting in my folded arms. Hot tears rolled down my face. My heart felt like it was ripped in two. I wanted to be with Kyouya, but if I was, I would go against my father's wishes and be denied the chance to fullfil my life long dream to be noticed by my father.
But on the other hand, I knew I was in love with Kyouya. I couldn't get him out of my mind. Thinking, I knew the true meaning of the Host Club to please girls for money. To Kyouya, that was probably all I was. A source of money. And until I proved that I was good enough for my father, I was just a way he could make money. I had earned thousands of dollars in contests that I had won.
I wanted somebody who knew how I felt, who knew what I needed, who would make me feel loved and wanted. Just then, I heard a knock on my door.
"Come in!" I yelled. "The door is unlocked."
The door opened and in walked Haruhi, carrying all my stuff. "Kyouya asked me to bring these to you," she explained simply. Sighing, I motioned for her to set the stuff near the door. Putting the load down, she walked over to me.
"He told us that you had to leave in a hurry for something. Everybody else believed him, because he never lies, but some how I knew it wasn't true."
"Haruhi," I started, "I believe everybody had a meaning to their life," I hesitated before going on, "Do you think mine is to just make people money?"
"Of course not!" she sounded shocked that I would even consider the idea. "Every bodies meaning for life is different, but I don't think that anyone's role is just to make people happy while they themselves suffer quietly." I knew she was talking specifically, but I didn't know if what she said was true.
"All anybody seems to get from me is money," I told her, "My father gains profit from me, Kyouya makes money by getting me obsessed with him. Nobody really understands my situation."
"Kyouya really does like you," she said to me, but I just knew it was a lie, "If he really didn't, then why are pictures of you walking in the garden set as his screen saver?" I looked up into her eyes, and I could tell she was sincere. I knew I really wanted to believe her, and my heart raged war with my brain.
"I'll leave you to think," she said and walked toward the door.
"Haruhi," I called after her, and she stopped and turned, "Thanks. For everything." She just smiled and left.
