I started to wonder back through the shelves. I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't leave. I didn't know how long I should wait before going back to the room. I wondered and wondered not paying attention to where I was going. I was starting to get lost in my thoughts again. That's always dangerous. I'll start thinking about the times with my warriors.With my love. No! Stop right there! Stop thinking of that! I chastised myself. You're just going to tear yourself apart. Again! Taking deep breathes, I looked around and found myself in front of the restricted door again. Putting my head in my hands, I tried to pull myself back together. I really need to stop wondering like that. I'll end up getting myself into a bad situation or something if I don't. Hoping that the gum did the job, I gave the door an experimental push. At first it stuck but after another nudge the latch popped. Letting out a breath that I didn't know that I was holding, I looked around to make sure I was alone. No one in sight. Good!
Okay, now I just need to find The Universe of the Four Gods, I thought to myself as slipped through the door. I took the gum out of the latch and securely locked the door behind me I didn't want to be caught before I could get into the book. After that I didn't care. They could shut the book for it to never be opened again and I would no mind at all. As long as I'm with him. As long as I have Tamahome. I will never want for more, I decided. But first... Now that i was here in this room, my curiousity gave way. What were these documents that they were going on about? I thought, It couldn't hurt to take a look. ...Could it? With no more further ado, I started to rumage through all the folders they had on the table. It probably would have helped if I had know what I was looking for. I was about to give up when I ran across a folder labeled time travel. Time Travel Machine: In the following pages I have included the blueprints for a time travel machine. I have also included the key and address to where the prototype of this machine is located. Since this is not my level of expertees, I had them over to you to test and produce if you see fit. I tried to get my brain to process this. Time travel? This was too much for me to handle at the moment. I would look at it again after I had The Universe of the Four Gods safe in my hands. Which brought my attention back to the real reason as to why I was in this room.
I didn't have the look over the entire shelf. I could find this book in my sleep. I had dreamed about it so very many times. Just as I remember. Smiling a true smile for the first time in a long time, I pulled the book from the shelf. Then a thought accured to me that hadn't before. What if he doesn't want me to come back? What if he's changed? What if something's happened to him?! It's been three years! How much time would that be in their world?! It was too much time for my mind to figure out quickly. Starting to panic, I had to take a minute to calm down. You don't want the first moments of him seeing you to be a panic attack. My pulse was finally starting to slow, but I still had an unexplained feeling of dread. Jeez, Miaka! Pull yourself together! You're about to be with him again. Smiling again, I opened the cover. Shockwaves rolled through my body but not the kind that I had expected.
The page in front of me was blank! I turned it. Blank. So I turned the next page. Blank. It took me flipping through the whole book for the realization to sink in. I was never going back. I was never going to see Tamahome ever again! I had thought that all the pain was going to end. I had knew I was going to be with my warriors again. In my mind, it was a definate that we would live happily ever after. Only now did I realize, there was no such thing as happily ever after. Fairy tales weren't real. They were just stories. Just like the book The Universe of the Four Gods! I couldn't stop the tears. Sobs came out and racked my body on the way through. I kept flipping through the pages over and over. This has to be a mistake! It has to be a mistake. THIS CAN"T BE! I collapsed weeping on the floor.
BANG BANG BANG! "WHO'S IN THERE?! THIS ROOM IS OFF LIMITS!" It was that stupid janitor. I heard the rattle of keys and knew I had to bolt as soon as he opened the door. I dropped the book and stood, tears still streaming. The door flew open wide and I started running full force. I could see because of the tears and I didn't know where I was going but I didn't care either! Any place but here! Any place but here! was all my mind kept repeating. I fled from the library not caring that people were staring.Not caring about the whispers or the anger yells as I pushed my way through the crowded streets, still running. I ran all the way to the park before I collapsed on a bench exhasted. Only then did I realized I still had something in my hand. I looked down to see the folder labeled time travel. Then an idea occured to me... Any place but here... What about anytime but here? It was irrational. It was stupid. ...It was perfect! If it worked, I'd be away from here. If it didn't, I might not be here to care! It was perfect! The address in the folder was only a few blocks away and the key looked like it belonged to a pad lock. So it was probably in a storage building. This just seemed to get better and better. Now that I had caught my breath, I set off at a sprent. Forget high school! Forget Yui! Forget Keisuke and Mom! No one understands! No one cares! By this time I was sobbing again. I reached the address and it just looked like a large garage with no house to go with it. I didn't care! I unlock the padlock on the door, walked inside, and flipped on the lights.
Temporarily blinded, I immediately tripped over something. Saying some very unlady-like words, I waited till my vision was clear before I took another step. There in front of me stood something that just looked like a portable bathroom you see at crude construction sites with a big dial on the front. I turned the dial for 35 years. That should do it! And without thinking it through any more I opened the door, stepped in, and shut it behind me!
