any thing

Created By mayjayann

Be A Clown

Mayor Hill is giving a speech at a construction site, saying the new block of apartments being built will herald a new, safer Gotham City. The speech is rudely interrupted by a pair of criminals who crash their getaway car and then open fire on the police pursuing them. Batman appears and takes them down. Rising from the podium he ducked under, Hill resumes the thread of his speech, railing against men who act outside the law. When Summer Gleeson sardonically asks him if he includes Batman, Hill responds, absolutely: "He and criminals like the Joker are cut from the same cloth." Joker happens to be watching this in his hideout, and is outraged at the comparison. He gets an idea for revenge from Hill's next statement, promising to make the city "as safe as [his] own mansion."
That weekend, the mansion is the site of a birthday party for the mayor's son, Jordan. The party is more a political media event than a real celebration, and Jordan feels overlooked and unloved. Practicing magic tricks alone in his room, he is mad when his father barges in and demands that he come out and greet the cream of the city. Hill has a surprise for his son, though. In addition to the important guests, he's invited a clown: the exuberant Jekko the Magnificent. Jordan is awed by Jekko's act, and asks how he can become a magician like him. Jekko laughs and says the first necessary step is to run away. Then Mayor Hill insist that Jordan leave the clown and come and greet the new arrivals, including Bruce Wayne. Fed up, Jordan runs up to his room.
For his parting gift, Jekko plants a large sparkler candle on top of the birthday cake It doesn't take a genius to figure out that Jekko is really the Joker, and the candle is really a stick of dynamite, but no ones ever accused the average Gothamite of being brilliant. As he leaves the Mayor, he lets out one of his trademark laughs. Hearing it, Bruce looks around and sees the candle. Pushing his way through the crowd, he pretends to stumble with the large present he's carrying, knocking the cake into the pool, where the bomb detonates harmlessly underwater. Hill calls the police, who find the real Jekko the Clown tied up down the road from the mansion. As Hill demands answers, Bruce realizes, "where's Jordan?" The scene shifts to inside Joker's van, where Jordan pokes his head up. Joker returns to his hideout, an abandoned amusement park. He starts to remove his makeup, but Jordan appears, saying he followed "Jekko's" advice and wants to be a museum like him. Joker is initially enraged at having his hideout invaded, but laughs it off and says he's been thinking about a protégé. Reviewing a home video of the birthday party, Bruce notices "Jekko" mention the name of his mentor, the "Great Prosciutto" – who was a performer at the amusement park. Back at the park, Joker is teaching Jordan how to swallow a sword. His lesson is interrupted when Joker's security system sounds an alert. As he scans his cameras, he notices Batman skulking through the park. He proposes that he and Jordan play a little joke on the Dark Knight and Jordan, remembering that his father says Batman is no good, and not wanting to upset his new mentor, agrees. Jordan lures Batman into the park's funhouse, where Joker ambushes him with his razor-tipped playing cards. Batman easily evades the attack and chases after Joker, who flees to higher ground and then tosses his ace card at Batman. This card detonates into a cloud of knockout gas, and Batman falls to the ground. Joker uses a fortune telling machine which drops a card predicting Batman's fate. Joker reads it and laughs, "You're gonna love this!" When Batman wakens, he is upside down in a tank rapidly filling with water, bound by a straightjacket and shackles. Jordan is nervous, but Joker tells him to watch the "show." Jordan applauds when Batman manages to get free of the straightjacket, but then realizes that Batman really is drowning. He grabs an axe and strikes the side of the tank, but Joker plucks the ax away before he can strike again, and reveals his true identity. Jordan grabs a seltzer hose and sprays Joker in the face, distracting him long enough to run out. As Joker chases after him, Batman pushes with his legs on the crack Jordan made, and manages to shatter the tank. Recovering his breath, he grabs his utility belt. ("All right, Joker – get ready for a little Bat-magic!") As Joker searches the amusement park for Jordan, Batman runs to the park's control room and throws the power switches, turning on the park's lights and attractions, to distract Joker and illuminate the area.
Joker catches up with Jordan, hiding on one of the roller coasters, just as Batman sees them. Joker starts one of the coasters and he and Jordan roll away on it. Batman jumps on the second as it starts, slightly behind the first. As the cars speed around the track, Joker throws grenades (shaped like Kewpie dolls) at Batman's coaster. The third lands right in the seat of the lead car, and the coaster de-rails in the explosion. However, Batman has managed to jump onto the rear of Joker's coaster. Joker lunges into the back. As they wrestle, he tries to squirt Batman with his boutonniere, but Batman ducks and kicks Joker off the coaster, causing him to fall with a scream into a lake far below. Looking ahead, he sees the coaster is heading for a break in the track, while Jordan is still in the lead car. Batman yells for Jordan to take his hand. Jordan hesitates for a moment, scared of Batman, then reaches, and Batman swings them both away just before the coaster goes off the rails and crashes.
At the mayoral mansion, Hill is sadly toying with his son's magic tricks, when Jordan calls, "Dad!" and runs into his father's arms. Having learned a lesson about how truly important his son is, Hill shushes Jordan's apologies and gives him "the best birthday hug" he's ever had. Over his father's shoulder, Jordan sees Batman smile and give him a thumbs-up. Jordan smiles back and returns it.

heart of ice

As a ballerina effigy dances in her glass dome, a strange, armored man talks to the small dancer, promising a revenge against a "monster" for taking her from him.
Later on, Summer Gleeson gives a report on a series of mysterious heists pulled at various offices of GothCorp, all with the same M.O.: a "freeze gun" that creates a cold wave capable of generating thick sheets of ice and snow. Ferris Boyle, GothCorp's CEO, says he doesn't know what the mysterious perpetrator has against GothCorp, "the People Company," but hopes any differences can be patched up.
In the Batcave, Batman examines a list of the stolen devices, and finds that, when combined, they form a larger version of the freeze gun, large enough to become a fully-operational freezing cannon to the extent of being a city-wide threat. However, the machine is still missing one component, meaning Batman knows where the thieves will strike next.
That night, an armored vehicle attacks the GothCorp installation in question. When the Batmobile arrives, a freeze ray from the van creates a sheet of ice that causes the car to spin out of control, into a barely-controlled crash. Batman exits the car and engages the thieves: their ringleader appears, a man in a strange suit of armor calling himself Mr. Freeze. He fires his freeze gun at Batman, but misses and accidentally hits one of his own men in the legs, before managing to freeze Batman. Freeze orders his men to leave his comrade behind, and they escape. Batman manages to shatter the ice on himself, and is forced to take care of the thug, who is dying of hypothermia, rather than pursue Freeze.
After using a special bath to revive the man and melt the ice sheet on his legs, Batman — who has himself developed a cold from the encounter — visits Gothcorp as Bruce Wayne, hoping to learn who might have a grudge against it. Boyle says the only person he can think of is dead: a former research scientist employed by the company whose funding was cut, and who apparently died in a laboratory accident. When Bruce expresses mild surprise, Boyle, in private, reveals his true colors: "Look, Bruce, that 'People Company' line is great PR, but when the wage slaves start acting like they own the place, it's time to pull the plug." As Bruce is leaving, Boyle comments that he is to be presented with a humanitarian award.
Posing as a security guard, Batman sneaks into Gothcorp's offices and finds a security camera tape with footage of the accident: on it, a man named Victor Fries records that he has put his wife, Nora, into cryogenic stasis after she became terminally ill, to give himself time to research a cure. Suddenly, Boyle and a pair of security guards burst in. Boyle says that Fries's funding has been cut and he is using company equipment without authorization. He orders his guards to disconnect the equipment, despite Fries's horrified objections that Nora will die if they do so. In a panic, Fries seizes one of the guard's guns and orders them to stay back. Scared, Boyle attempts to reason with Fries. Fries lowers the gun — and Boyle kicks him in the chest, sending him crashing back onto a table of chemicals, which fill the room with vapor. As Boyle and his guards flee the room, Fries drags a hand over his wife's tank, calling her name. Watching this, Batman can only mutter "My God!", when Fries — now Mr. Freeze, appears behind him and blasts him with his cold gun.
Batman is kept prisoner in Freeze's hideout, partially frozen and without his utility belt. Freeze's men have finished assembling the giant cold gun, with which Freeze plans to attack Boyle's award ceremony. Freeze explains his suit: after the accident, he is incapable of living outside of a sub-zero environment, which the suit maintains.
After Freeze leaves, Batman manages to free himself. At the building, Freeze's cannon opens fire, covering the lower part of the building in ice. Freeze tells his men to go on firing until the entire building is covered, but Batman arrives and barely stops the cannon. Unwilling to admit defeat, Freeze smashes a fire hydrant and uses his gun to convert the fountain of spraying water into a column of ice that lifts him to the top floor of the building. Smashing his way into the awards ceremony, Freeze confronts Boyle and begins freezing him slowly from the legs up. He has just reached Boyle's waist when Batman arrives and distracts him. However, Freeze reveals that his suit's circuitry also triples his strength, and Batman is outmatched.
As Freeze holds Batman aloft, helpless, Batman remembers he is carrying a thermos of hot chicken soup that Alfred gave him for his cold. He dumps the soup onto Freeze's helmet, and the temperature difference causes the helmet to crack and shatter, letting the room-temperature air into Freeze's suit and paralyzing him. Freeze laments that he has been denied justice, but Batman says he won't be: he gives Summer Gleason the video tape of Fries's accident, then leaves, without freeing the still-shivering Boyle.
In Arkham, Freeze laments above the same ballerina effigy, and asks Nora to forgive him for failing to avenge her.

Almost got 'im

While hiding out from the police, the Joker, the Penguin, Two-Face, Poison Ivy and Killer Croc gather at the criminals-only Stacked Deck to play cards and swap stories about their mutual nemesis. Each one has an "Almost Got 'Im" story when it comes to trying to do in Batman.
Ivy's tail
Poison Ivy placed poison ivy gas inside pumpkins on Halloween, which went off when lit. When most of Gotham City started to feel the effects of the gas, Batman went to the city pumpkin patch to investigate. There, Ivy attacked Batman with the gas, successfully weakened him, and almost unmasked him. However, Batman programmed the Batmobile to run down Ivy, and later pulled a breath mask from the vehicle. He subsequently captured Ivy.
two-face's tail
Two-Face staged a robbery of the Gotham Mint for "$2,000,000 in two dollar bills." Batman, in an attempt to stop the heist, was overpowered by Two-Face's henchmen, the "Two-Ton Gang." Staying true to his personality disorder, Two-Face flipped his coin to see whether he would kill Batman or let him live, with a negative "bad-heads" result. Batman lunged at him ineffectively, but was restrained by his henchmen, and Two-Face took Batman's utility belt, strapped him to a giant penny and placed it on a catapult: "The coin lands face down, you'll be squashed flat. It lands face up... it'll just break every bone in your body." In midair, Batman cut himself free of the ropes using Two-Face's own coin, which he had managed to steal, and apprehended the crooks. In return for apprehending Two-Face, and much to Two-Face's irritation, the Gotham Mint let Batman keep the giant penny.
killer croc's
Killer Croc threw a rock at Batman in a quarry. The other villains stare at him for a moment and continue telling their stories, while Croc mutters, "It was a big rock."
Penguin's tail
The Penguin turned a zoo aviary into a home for dangerous birds in a plot to kill Batman. Pretending to attempt a break-in to the aviary caught Batman's attention; the Penguin sprayed Batman with a red gas out of his infamous "Umbrella Gun". Acting as though the spray were harmless, Penguin ran into the aviary, but then announced over a loudspeaker that in fact the red gas was a nectar eaten by poison-beaked hummingbirds, which were released to attack the Dark Knight. After being bitten several times, Batman threw a batarang at a sprinkler, where the water slowed down the small birds. Before he could inject himself with an antidote, he was attacked and viciously gashed by a cassowary. In desperation, Batman stabbed the flightless bird with one of the hummingbirds, incapacitating it. Batman chased after the Penguin outside, but the villain escaped, flying away via his umbrella.
joker's tail

The Joker and his gang took over and blocked off the set of a Gotham City late-night talk show, his gang holding the audience hostage. Batman went to save the people in the set but was overpowered and strapped to a "laugh-powered electric chair" which would fry him with electricity that rose in voltage the more the audience laughed. The Joker then took over the show as host. With the audience being forced to laugh at gunpoint, the Joker wanted more 'honest' laughter, and pumped the studio with laughing gas until "these people would laugh at the phonebook." He then had his assistant Harley Quinn read names out of the phonebook to elicit more laughter from the crowd. During this time, the Joker got so confident that he took out a sausage and began cooking it with the chair's steadily-increasing electricity until Catwoman broke into the studio and attacked him. While being thrown back, he dropped the metal rod he was using to hold the sausage right on Batman's lap. Too distracted at this point with Catwoman, nobody saw Batman use the rod to escape from the chair — too late, as the Joker was already fleeing the studio. Catwoman, starting to gain on him, was knocked out from behind by Harley Quinn. Then, in order to prove there is more than one way to 'get' Batman, he instructed Harley to take Catwoman to a catfood factory and strap her to a meat chopper. The Joker himself decided to hide out at the "Stacked Deck" for a while to lose Batman. He explains to the other villains that he is getting ready to go meet Harley at the factory, and "turn Catwoman into cat food."
Finale
At this point, Killer Croc stands up saying "I don't think so" with Batman's voice, and proceeds to throw the Joker across the room, revealing himself to be Batman in a Killer Croc suit. However, it would seem Batman sacrificed everything to get this information, as he finds himself alone in a bar confronted by his deadliest foes, all itching to get him and in a perfect position to do so. Unfortunately for the villains, they in turn are confronted with multiple loaded guns as it is revealed that every other patron of the bar is a police officer, among them Renee Montoya , Harvey Bullock and Police Commissioner James Gordon — the whole thing was a sting operation. As the villains are arrested, Batman goes to the cat food factory to find Catwoman, bound, gagged, and strapped to a conveyor belt. He saves Catwoman from Harley Quinn.
The episode ends on a humorous note, as Catwoman makes a pass at Batman and implores him to reveal his identity to her, only to turn and find he has pulled one of his trademark disappearing acts. She then smiles, shakes her head and mutters to herself, "Huh. Almost got 'im."

song , living in the shell

Roaming inbetween the worlds of sleep and awake
Seems so far away from where I've been and untrue but unafraid
Intrusting -- my soul -- I know I must be taken to see the world that is
Not so far from now

Imaginations come and sweep the shores of my mind
Letting it be, visions pass, and emotions arise--
Letting them go, and beyond are doors I've never seen, opening one by one

(Wake up and show the light, wake up the time is right)
I hear a voice, hear a voice calling out to me
Look inside, see the light now ever holding you
All the truth is all you need to make of your reality, its right here
Look deep within your shell

Finding out a galaxy of planets and stars within me
Listening to each of them singing the same silent melody
I've never seen such beauty in possibility -- no speck of doubt or fear

(Wake up and show the light, wake up the time is right)
I hear a voice, hear a voice calling out to me
I see inside, see the light now ever holding me
All the truth, all I need to make of this reality it's -- beauty within the shell

The sandglass starts for another time's beginning from within
Cotton fields, mama's arms are gently unfolding me into the new...

(Wake up and show the light, wake up the time is right)
[Reading]
Here from behind my sight, my thoughts my mind
Show from the light
The time is right
And from the depth within show the balance
Of outer and inner harmony
Mind and heart, soul and spirit undivided
Here's where teh true strength and beauty lies
We'll see this before us with our own eyes
We'll see, with our own eyes... LOVE

Harley and Ivy

It's another night in Gotham City, and once again the Joker is fleeing the Batmobile in his own car, with Harley Quinn in the driver's seat. When Joker orders her to turn, she protests, but he orders again, and she does so – causing the car to careen down a construction hill. Irritably, he snaps at her to hand him his gun, which she does after rummaging through her bag. He takes gleeful aim at the Batmobile's tires, but the gun turns out to be a dud. Batman gets close enough to snag Joker's rear bumper with a tow cable. As he reverses, Harley presses a button and jettisons the boot, leaving the Batmobile behind.

Back at the hideout, Joker rants about Harley's screw-up with the gun. When Harley timidly mentions that she did get them away from Batman, Joker sarcastically asks if she thinks she's a better crook than him. She dares to say, "maybe," and he tosses her out of the hideout in a rage.

Defiantly, she decides to pull the original heist she planned herself. She goes to the Gotham Museum of Natural History to steal the Harlequin Diamond. She evades the security system with ease, but then the alarms are tripped by Poison Ivy, stealing specimens from the museum's lab. The two women are cornered by the police. Harley grabs one of the specimen bottles and shoots it with her popgun, creating a cloud of gas that disables the police and lets them get away. As they speed away in Ivy's car, she says, "This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship." Ivy takes Harley to her latest hideout, a house in an abandoned housing development begun over a toxic waste dump. As they bond, Ivy is disgusted at Harley passive acceptance of Joker's abusiveness, and declares that Harley needs to buck up her self-esteem.

For their first official caper, they invade the men's-only Peregrinators Club, tie them up with dropped vine creepers, and then loot the trophy room. Before long, they are committing a spree of crimes all over town, enough to draw Batman's attention. They also become best friends, though Ivy is exasperated at Harley's undying affection for "that psychotic creep."

Elsewhere, Joker is missing Harley in his own fashion: without her, the hideout has become a mess. When he demands why she hasn't come back yet, one of his henchmen nervously shows him the latest headline: "New Queens of Crime." Joker is enraged that Harley is out-doing him as a crook. But he gets his chance when Harley secretly phones him from Ivy's house, allowing him to trace the call. At the same time, Batman analyzes a soil trace from one of their tire tracks, and realizes where they are hiding out. Batman gets there first, but is subdued by one of Ivy's creeper plants. The girls chain him to an old table and dump him into a chemical waste pit. But they re-enter the house to find Joker and his goons, eagerly scooping up their stolen gains. When Ivy protests, Joker gasses her with his boutonnière, but it doesn't work on her. She knocks Joker and his goons to the ground, then drags Harley along with her to make their getaway.

As his goons give chase, they are subdued by Batman, who has managed to escape the trap. Joker picks up a tommy gun and opens fire, despite Batman's warnings about the cocktail of flammable and explosive chemicals they're sitting on. Sure enough, a stray shot ignites a chemical drum, and soon the whole waste dump goes up in flames. Joker's goons flee, while Batman knocks Joker out and then saves them both in the Batmobile.

Speeding away in their car, Ivy exults, "no man can take us prisoner!" Then their car is disabled by a well-aimed shot from Renee Montoya. They are arrested, and sent to Arkham Asylum along with Joker. In Arkham, Joker swears that this is the last time he ever starts a gang with any women in it, while Ivy has some rather resentful feelings towards Harley.