The Wedding of Otaku Legends

R Nana: Angel Zakuro and Jungy, you stand before us as the children of God, redeemed through Jesus Christ. Is it your purpose to establish a home that is truly Christ-centered, where the Word of God is read and obeyed; a home that is welded together by prayer in which the Holy Spirit is your constant guide?
Zakuro & Jungy: It is.
R Nana: *To Jungy* And now, in token that your hearts are joined together in love, will you please join your right hands. *Jungy takes Zakuro’s hand in her own* Jungy, this woman whom you hold by the hand is to be your wife. She has given you one of the most sacred things under heaven: a woman's life and a woman's love. You may bring her great joy or cause her deep sorrow. It is not what you bring her in a material way that will make true happiness--riches without love are nothing. The gift without the giver is bare. The practice of those virtues as husband that you have shown as her lover will keep her heart won to your heart. Do you vow here, as you have promised Angel Zakuro that you will be true and loyal, patient in sickness, comforting in sorrow, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her so long as you both shall live?

Jungy: I do.

R Nana: *To Zakuro* Angel Zakuro, this woman whom you hold by the right hand is to be your husband. On your life, your love and devotion she will lean for strength and inspiration. She is going to look to you for encouragement, for cheerfulness and confidence. No matter what the world may say or think, people may forget her, lose confidence in her, and turn their backs upon her, but you must not. May your life and your love be the inspiration that will constantly lead her to greater dependence upon our Lord Jesus Christ. Do you vow here, as you have promised Jungy that you will be loyal in adversity, ministering to her in affliction, comforting her in sorrow, and forsaking all others, keeping yourself only unto her so long as you both shall live?

Zakuro: I do.

R Nana: You may now share your vows with each other.

Jungy: *Looks deeply into Zakuro’s eyes* From the moment I first sponged your head, I knew that I would spend the rest of my life with you. It also helps that you taste sooo good with strawberries *Zakuro blushes a deep red* You are my perfect little munchkin and I’ll never let anyone touch you. *Looks at the audience* No one. *Looks back in to Zakuro’s eyes.* With this ring, *Misuzu walks around to stand in front of the two. Jungy picks up a ring* I make you mine and only mine, especially when there’s chocolate sauce involved.

Bob: I need a cold shower.

Chad: I said, Shhh

Zakuro: *Her face is a deep red, she looks like she will die from embarrassment.* I tried to think of something special to say, but the words wouldn’t come. In a way I guess you could say that my love for you can’t be described by just words. My love for you is deep and will always be. *Picks up the other ring. Misuzu returns to her previous position* With this ring, I become yours. To do with as you please. Just be gentle.

R Nana: As a minister of the gospel, and an avid otaku I am proud to bear witness and join these two forever in the bonds of love. So, by the power invested in me by our Lord Jesus, I pronounce you to be to each other, wife and wife. Whom therefore God hath joined together, let no man or woman put asunder. You may now kiss the bride.

*Jungy takes Zakuro passionately into her arms and kisses her deeply. The hall erupts in applause. Sayuri, who is now joined by some strings players, begins to play Canon in D*

Chad: That was utterly beautiful.

Bob: So many fantasies, so little time.

*The couple is now making their way down the aisle to the entrance.*

Chad: Well, that’s a wrap. I have to say that this was one of the better weddings we’ve done in a long time.

Bob: And one of the hottest.

Chad: For once I have to agree. Maybe it is the yuri after all.

Bob: Or maybe you’re finally joining the dark side.

Chad: *Chad Chuck Noris kicks Bob* Join us next time when we will show highlights from the reception.

*Cue Tom Petty’s “Mary Jane’s Last Dance”*
*Cue credits*