Al Bhed Indeed

Okay, I was a little disappointed. They weren’t doing anything today, just arranging another meeting. But the fact that we knew when the next meeting would be was important. “We have to stake it out,” I said to Steven as soon as I knew he would hear me. I could see the disagreement in his eyes even before he heard what I had to say, but I wasn’t going to give up. “No, hear me out. How can you just stand there and tell me that it doesn’t matter to you? What if this lie is just one of many? I can’t take that chance. Whether you come or not, I will. I have to. And this is the only time I will try to convince you, I promise! Just please, please come with me!” Steven shrugged uselessly and I nodded, “Fine. But I am coming. Don’t try and stop me, Steven.”

That evening, we let ourselves into the house to see our mum and dad cuddling on the sofa. I pretended to retch and left them to fawn over Steven to go and get a drink. While I was in the kitchen, I heard heavy footsteps behind me and swore inwardly. “Hi Dad,” I said, feigning happiness. “How’s school? Are you doing okay in the exams?” I looked at him angrily. “Exams were last month. You forgot about them back then.” Dad nodded, and put his hands in his pockets. “So, are you still with your boyfriend?” he tried again. “I broke up with him last week. You knew that.” He winced, and shrugged. “Umm…how’s the job going?” I sighed. “I haven’t got a job, remember? I haven’t even applied for one yet.” I dumped my glass in the sink and stomped out of the room. At the living room door, I saw Mum fussing over Steven and flew upstairs, slamming into my room.

I threw myself onto my bed roughly and switched my music on loudly, trying to drown out my thoughts. I got so angry sometimes…I just wished that I didn’t care. “Charlotte, turn it down!” Mum called, so I turned it up that little bit more. I knew that she wouldn’t tell Steven to turn it down. Didn’t they see that I had worked so hard to try and make them just a little bit proud of them? Or was it that they had noticed and just plain didn’t care? Well, whatever; I didn’t give a damn anymore. They could just leave me alone.

Mum looked at me in a “You’re her brother” kind of way, and I rolled my eyes. I sat up, lifting her arm off of me and jumped off the sofa. “Watch where’s you’re going!” Dad said as I nearly bumped into him, and I shrugged slightly. “Sorry.” I said, and slid past him and slowly walked up the stairs. As I reached Charlotte’s room, I heard what I thought were sobs, and I knocked on the door and opened it slightly. “Charlotte? It’s me. Can we talk?” She turned the music down, and I took that as a signal for “Yes.” I opened the door a little further, slipped inside and closed it behind me.

I turned and looked at Charlotte, curled slightly on her bed, her eyes reddened. I chose not to ignore this, and sat down on the bed beside her. “Charlotte… do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” Charlotte shook her head and turned away from me, standing up. I saw her shoulders start to move and knew that, although she made no sound, she was crying. I stood up quickly and hugged her from behind, ignoring her squirms until she settled down and turned to face me. She looked up at me, eyes red and watery, and threw her arms around my neck as she cried into my chest. I ran a hand through her hair, my other held against her back, and whispered gently. “It is okay, Charlotte, I’m here… I’m not going to leave you, little sister; I’ll always be here for you…”

At that moment, Dad barged in and I glared at him quickly. He looked sheepishly at us and gestured randomly. “Everything okay?” Before Charlotte could react, I bit back. “Do things look okay, Dad? Just get lost and let me handle things. I’m 16 now, and I know my sister better than you do.” Dad looked slightly hurt and walked back out, closing the door behind him. Charlotte looked up at me. “Thank you…” I shook my head and smiled at her. “Any time. Just let it go, Charlotte. If you need to cry, cry.” She nodded and buried her head in my chest once more. I ran a hand through her hair once more. “I’ll never leave your side…”

At Steven’s words, I started to cry even harder. I didn’t deserve a brother as good as him. I tried to tell him that, too; but because of all the crying going on, I couldn’t get any words out. Eventually I couldn’t breathe; finally my tears petered out, and I gently pulled out of his hug. “Something you want to talk about?” he asked quietly, but I shook my head fiercely, still fighting to breathe. I turned away from him and pushed my hair back, wiped my eyes angrily, and turned back to him, smiling. “You wanna go on the PlayStation?” I asked brightly. He looked at me a little confusedly, but nodded all the same, and I booted up my favourite games console.

We played video games until the early hours of the next morning, but I still couldn’t get over how angry I was. I had been so stupid to cry; what did it achieve? But that didn’t annoy me as much as the fact that I had been caught at it. I hadn’t cried in front of anyone for five years now…Well, until today, that is. Steven didn’t need to know how much I hated that though; I was hating myself silently. Eventually, though, we gave up – I needed to get up before two o’clock tomorrow for this lunch thing, so we went to bed at around four o’clock in the morning.

Charlotte and I were what you would call…more than just siblings. We were closest, best friends. Kindred spirits. We liked the same things, did the same things…and on occasion, liked the same guys. People said we meshed well together. So here we were, sleeping, fully clothed in the same bed, for the second time in a week, because I’d been too tired to go back to my own room. I was hugging her as she slept, though I knew she was feeling a little better. She…sometimes I felt she needed me. And I needed her, too.

I woke up at midday, and whispered in her ear. “Charlotte, it’s time to get up.” She rubbed at her eyes and saw the clock. “Oh my god! We’ve only got an hour and a half!” She turned to look at me and blushed as she realised I still had my arms around her. “Sorry,” I began, “You looked like you were having a nightmare.” She turned back and squeezed my hands gently. “Thanks…” She said, and squirmed out of my hug. “Thanks,” she said again, “But I need to get changed. And so do you.” I looked down and laughed. “You’re right. So, meet downstairs in ten minutes for some hardcore breakfast-age?” Charlotte laughed. “You bet!”