I honestly didn't think this was a horror flick. But, technically it is! It's just making fun of every hipster and every horror flick out there! This movie is funny, raunchy, miserable, depressing, misleading, FUNNY, adorable, confusing, and several other adjectives that completely contradict each other. If you're expecting one thing, this movie will take a complete 180, 270, 365, 24/7, 300, and other degrees that aren't possible! You will either love or hate this movie, but it could totally count as a Halloween flick. It's horrifying how discombobulated this movie is but it's charming in its own way! And... when Josh Hutcherson pays a homage to DIRTY DANCING, where can you go wrong? But... seriously, if you're expecting a coherent movie, don't watch. ;)
Scare Rating: 4/10, not really scary but funny as hell. But still a little freaky.
xoxo, Your Bewitching Momma
P.S. Dane Cook is completely hilarious in this too.
Another classic, in a different sort of way. Where The Nightmare Before Christmas was an instant classic for it's story and art, Sweeney Todd has been around for a long time. First penned back in the 19th Century, Sweeney Todd has been portrayed hundreds of times on Broadway and on the big screen. This time around we get another Tim Burton film accompanied by his good wife and best friend, Helene Bonham Carter and Johnny Depp, in a chilling rendition. The witty banter between the two characters is so believable and charming that it almost escapes you for a moment that they're singing about baking their murder victims into meat pies and selling it in the shop. Even the cheery parts are dreadful, in a good way, which is a good indication that these characters are so pleasantly demented you can't help but love and fear them at the same time. I advise Sweeney Todd for those above the age of 17 (total goody goody here) and those who love cheery singing mixed with murder. Ta~
Scare Rating: 8/10, do I need to give a reason?
xoxo, Your Bewitching Momma
Switching gears to a more Halloween appropriate vampire/lycan flick. Yes, I said lycan. In Underworld we get that grungy, dirty, bloody, vampire/lycan action my fellow supernatural lovers have been craving. The eternal war between the two has been modernized and now we're getting some bad ass guns in there. The bad ass aspect is mostly in the silver nitrate/liquid silver and the UV bullets that kill lycans and vampires respectively. This movie is raunchy, steamy, creepy, and gruesome. Highly advised for a Halloween flick, even if it's just to look at Kate Beckinsdale's hot bod. You can never go wrong with catsuits.
Scare Rating: 8/10, not advised for the light of heart. There's blood spewing every single scene.
xoxo, Your Bewitching Momma
Let me just make this perfectly clear, I don't like the Twilight series. I like my creatures of the night to be vicious and bloody and violent. Not this mamby pamby sparkle shit. And I hate CGI Werewolves. It's okay to CGI parts of them, but the best werewolves are done in costumes and make-up. Just saying.
One of the biggest franchises ever born, less than a decade old and already nearly every tween girls in their helping bras are stumbling over each other to get a view of Robert Pattinson sparkling like a fairy or to see Taylor Lautner rip off those clothes. I have to commend the size and the success this series has accumulated, but it sets a new low for vampire flicks. I'm seeing more sexy teenager versions of occult/horror monsters who just want to be human, as opposed to the Van Hellsing, Underworld, and Wolfman approach to things where these creatures just want blood. I digress. Onto the actual review.
In terms of substance, Twilight has always been a little bit lacking. Kristen Stewart is supposed to be an all around tolerating friend, the one who "tolerates" their friends, but what I think is supposed to be a witty/sarcastic human in a monsters world comes off as an indifferent souless succubus who just wants everyone to care about her. The emotional scenes are always frantic and spastic instead of saddening and meaningful, the comedy is subtle and not all that great, and the romance is confusing. There is supposed to be a conflict in feelings between Bella/Edward to Bella/Jacob when all I really see is a clear love for the vampire boy and then forced intimacy with Jacob in Eclipse. Don't get me wrong, I love the concept of her choosing Jacob, he's actually a deep character who cares for her and probably has for years. And those of you who are complaining about RENESMEE and shit, how he couldn't imprint on Renesmeee (fuck spelling of her name, btw) if Bella didn't go with Edward. Who cares, I don't. Scrap Breaking Dawn all together, it wasn't even supposed to be made.
All in all, the movies do get better in quality as more get released, but if you're expecting wicked action fights (which is what I was for the Eclipse fight. Can't wait to see them butcher the Breaking Dawn fight), logical romance, or anything that makes any sense, don't come here. You'll be tearing your hair out in confusion and throwing your fattening snack of choice everywhere. This movie is not for the light of heart. It will drive you insane and make you sick to your stomach.
This movie review is extremely subjective.
Scare Rating: 10/10. It's terrifying how popular these movies are. The books, I understand. The movies. gtfo universe.
xoxo, Your Bewitching Momma
Not doing banners as a regular thing, mostly because I'm having a bitch of a time finding piccers :D
OKAY. Tim Burton's Corpse Bride, a revisitation of the stop-animation that made his cult-classic The Nightmare Before Christmas so iconic and groundbreaking. Another musical of sorts but, again, the songs are so perfectly fitting that you can't blame the genre, sometimes the slightest bit of music is perfect (not to the extent where Tangled completely butchered it). This movie is chilling, deep, and expresses a lifelong notion of forced marriage. First he's forced to marry a woman he's moderately attracted to, then he accidentally marries a dead women. It's witty, it's charming, it's visually disturbing yet pleasing, the conflict is a little iffy, as is the villian, but I holy approve of this movie and it's a definite Halloween must.
Scare Rating: 5/10, has all of the frightening imagery that it's gruesome predecessor had but none of the Boogeyman.
xoxo, Your Bewitching Momma
