Attack of the Mary Sue!

“Excuse me? The matter at hand?” Shikamaru reminded them. “Now that I have your attention, I would like to point out this Sue has 2 bloodline limits.”

Another groan came from everyone in the room.

“Great! Just great! Bloodlines are supposed to be rare!”

“How can bloodlines be rare if one person has 2 of them damnit!”

“Coincidentally, what 2 bloodline limits?”

“Sharingan and Byakugan.”

Itachi slapped himself on the forehead. “I suppose she has completely mastered her Sharingan in all its forms?” Shikamaru nodded, and Itachi slammed his head on the desk.

“The only way someone could have both the Sharingan and Byakugan,” Kakashi mused, “is if I lost my right eye and had to get it replaced with a Byakugan because there were no other eyes available….”

Instantaneously, Gai kicked the shinobi in the face. “You fool! Don’t say that out loud! They could hear you!”

“Oh, right. Don’t want to give the writers any crazy ideas. Well, she can’t be that bad. How many jutsus does she know?”

“Well, I hate to sound like I’m from DBZ, but….IT’S OVER 9000!”

“WHAT?!?!?” Orochimaru fumed. “I’ve been collecting jutsus for decades, and so far I’ve only got 2,676!”

“Well, they don’t call them Mary Sues because they’re useless.”